Need Some to Talk to

Your DR told you that after you explained how you were feeling? Get another DR!!

You are having thoughts that aren't healthy and you need help. Either by using medication or finding a therapist. Definately talk to somebody! It will help with whatever is going on in your life that is making you feel so down and out.

You're not alone here, keep posting and take it one day at a time. I know things suck right now but it will get better.

Hugs,
Red09

Thanks, Red~

  We have doctor's at military facilities. Compared to other doctor's I've had, they seem to be very callused to Navy wives "feelings". That's why I wanted some other people to talk to. I seem to be surrounded by people who have the same attitude.

  I'm not sure what's causing these feelings. I've never been diagnosed with depression(with the exception of when I was on Celexa when I was pregnant) but have always had "blue" periods. It's never been this bad though so I had not felt the need to talk to anyone about it until recently. And then to have all feelings thrown to the side like it's my imagination is really a blow. I don't think I could ever go through with a suicide since I do not believe anyone could be a better parent than myself but I still can not believe I entertained that thought and took it so far as to sit down and write it out. I just sit and cry and my daughter comes up and just asks what's wrong and I feel so bad for her but I can't stop crying. I don't want  her to think it is anything she has done. I don't know what is wrong with me and I can't seem to et anyone to listen long enough to figure it out.

  Thanks again for listening.

AB

I just retired from a Navy civil service job. Here's some comments re base services.

Did you see a corpsman or doctor? If you saw a doctor was it an MD or some sort of a mental health practioner? The latter only come here once a month. Do you have friends on base, who can advise you on who to see? You can also demand to be referred to a doctor in town--that way the Navy insurance pays most of the cost.

I've seen everything from truly great medical care to the poorest possible people at the branch medical clinic. There was a terrible guy on intake just before I left and it took pressuring him to see someone good. He thought he was god or god's gift. Yuck!

The base should have a "family services" office, which is equivalent of mental health. Your spouses unit may have an ombudsman (generally an officer's wife), who helps people adjust to the constant moves, tells spouses about the services in town etc., and that includes mental health services in town. You can also ask to talk to the chaplain.

Like branch medical the quality varies in all of the above.

Now, here's a comment on the sailors. I never saw as many men gathered in one place with such a large percentage of caring, considerate husbands. It was as if in giving up the stability of living in one place and making friends, the cleaved to their wives in something unique and special.

Uncaring husbands either come that way or can be made that way if their command leadership sucks. Depressed or desperate men in poor commands don't make good husbands for as long as they are in the command. If your guy is NOT in that sort of position, then he might be one of the "other kind," who simply take advantage of the wife's isolation to be negectful and demanding. You need to figure out which you are dealing with.

I was the Mom at our command. This is the advice I gave time and time again:

Since I know how it works, I would call mental health in town first to create the least amount of problem at the command. They will intake you on crisis basis right away. You will have to pay them based on income. If you can't get to town, call your husband's command and ask if they have an ombudsman to get help arranging a ride.

If you can't pay or get a ride, call family services. They also should ask you to come in right away. If they don't, call the chaplain, he's a powerful person on base, and I only saw two in all my years who were no good. They do counseling and can refer you. Believe me, if the chaplin calls the branch medical clinic or family services, you will get different treatment.

Lastly, 50 pounds in 4 months would be a shock to the system, self esteem and everything else that makes us feel good about ourselves. Now it's time to put that aside, you can work on that later.  You identified the only important thing--that you are the best mother for your child and you need to be there for her.

bev

Post Edited (bevhea) : 10/5/2005 11:49:12 AM (GMT-6)

Hi AB,
I can definitely understand where you are coming from when you say that your husband doesn't understand. My husband has even gone to counseling with me so the therapist could explain it all to him... he has seemed now to forget all of that and whenever I start to tell him how I am feeling, he just says "oh, you are being silly" or "grow up"... in fact he said that last night and I had to go lay down and cry. He still didn't get it.

Thanks, Everyone~
I really needed to hear from others that I'm not overreacting, etc. I try to put on a "game face" for the whole world. It's nice when can let it out.
I am going to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow with the MD on staff at our Naval hospital here instead of the LT. Maybe that will get me a little further into figuring out what the heck is going on.
thanks again.
AB

Bev~
Yes, he is a very good man. I'm just very afraid of disppointing him. He would worry and I don't want to give him cause to worry. He has alot on his plate. I feel like I'm just being whiny but I do appreciate everyone here and the support I am being given now.
My daughter asked me last night if I was sad since I was crying again. I told her yes, a little but it was not her that I was sad about. She came up and gave me a big hug and a kiss and said "Your kisses and huggins make me feel better when I hurt so here.."..it about broke my heart because it was so sweet.
AB

Good men do understand. Generally they just need to get past that MAN stuff.

People cry for lots of reasons, if you are a big caffine user or have been on diet soda for 9 years or so, there are studies that either can make you depressed. If you recently moved into your house, materials can be "out gassing" and that can make you depressed and cause a lot more problems, like kids having trouble learning. You could have a chemical imbalance. The list is enormous.

You are starting with a medical doctor and that's good, but even so, while the doc may look for physical causes, odds are that they won't look for the ingested or environmental causes. So you get some other kind of treatment--and it will help you feel better. When you feel better and are thinking clearer, you will be able to check for the other causes yourself.

You are in charge of your daughter's well being. To do that the best you can, you have to take care of your own--and that means in all respects. In the meantime, if you aren't comfortable with telling all to your husband--don't. There is no requirement that says you have to. There is no promise that he will know the right thing to say or do--but he might think there is. Then he will be in a mess too. The way it is, if you don't tell him, when you fall a bit with your daughter--he's still there in good shape to make her life brighter.

So I hope you got to the Dr's appt to day and that you have a glimmer of hope.

Sadpixie and AB: I hope you didn't think I was doing a pull yourself together message. That is the same as saying stuff your problems. I'm saying move away from them by seeking help and taking responsibility for the quality of your own life. I went through a major depression and until I got help, I wasn't helping myself.

bev

Post Edited (bevhea) : 10/7/2005 2:34:02 PM (GMT-6)

Hi Bevhea,

Thanks for the reply , I appreciate your words. I didn't manage to get an appointment for today, but I am going to get on firs thing Monday, have wrote down all that I want to say, I can't wait to be able to think clearer, I hate feeling like this, I will keep you posted on my progress,

take care

Pix xx