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Depression
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Posted 4/30/2015 1:55 AM (GMT 0)
I have severe depression and I am currently on welbutrin. My husband told me this morning that he is intentionally trying to hurt me after I told him that he said some things that hurt my feelings. He doesn't believe in depression and thinks it is all in my head. when I cry it annoys him and instead of talking to me he ignores me and tunes me out by raising the volume on tv or radio. I there for can not confide in him. No one knows that I have had trouble in the past with Bulimia and anorexia. I struggle with Bulimia every time I feel to full. I have not had an episode since starting my medication b/c it can cause seizures. (4 months without vomiting!! yay) I did not tell my doctor that because all other medications I have had have made me gain a lot of weight. I am under 5 feet so when I gain 20 lbs it shows a lot. It makes my depression worse when I gain weight. The weight gain on antidepressants is actually what triggered me to start my battle with bulimia. I struggle everyday when I look in the mirror and I don't see someone thin. In the past I have lost a lot of weight on my "diets". There were days I only thing I ate was one serving of broccoli and cheese in a day, for weeks. My hair started to fall out I was always very tired. Everyone told me I looked great, that would make me feel better about myself. Now I try to eat healthy with work an 2 kids I am lucky if I can do 15 of cardio before bed. I wish that I could tell someone about the inner struggles. It feels good to at least let it out here. Having depression sucks, it sucks more when you don't have a support group.
Posted 4/30/2015 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the forum.you have landed in a very welcome dishelved 100 acrea wood type place that is soft and gentle. Thougth at night, it seems hard for some of us to type well do to bed time meds. Apologies.

TUT Tut on you issue, We all have sometiing we are battleing. see the dxs under my signature.
I battles selfhart addiction, cant talk a bout that in detail. AH! Self image. No there is a subject.
I can spring board from there to Self compass and land in the islands with a lovley work book entitled THE MINDFUL PATH TO SELF-COMPASSION. great book. Cheeper on ebay and half.com.

Do keep write, it would be a shame to see only the sillyside of me. Peace!

Trina
Posted 4/30/2015 5:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi hon (MOATX), I just joined also becuz I'm at my wits end with so many illnesses, surgeries and severe constant pain, vomiting & sorry to say it ...mass diarrhea. I've "managed" since it all started ...27 years ago, at age 17!! But now that things are getting even worse, and it feels that I'm closer to "going" than I ever thought or felt before, I just can't fight anymore ...too exhausted, sick of bad treatment from medical community ... I don't plan to do it myself, but I'm happily ready to be taken home (if you're religious) anytime, sooner than later please instead of 20+ more years of sheer misery. Sorry that this is off your post and reaching out. I DO care and SO understand that need to just have someone listen. I vent to my 2 best friends sometimes but not often cuz I'm so afraid they'll get sick of it, think me just a dam drag, so I don't talk often which is so lonely and turns my depression & anxiety up many notches to heartbreak and hours of sobbing ..all alone cuz I stopped long ago even dreaming that anyone would want me. You have a husband & kids, but that's not like a proven cure to not feel bad or needing to talk. As I said, I just joined cuz I really needed to reach out, but when I know someone else is hurting, like you, I immediately want to help and just push my stuff away. Don't let anyone reply like the others I read which sounded like they were downplaying your depression - don't let anyone do that!!! One condition or whatever problem is not "more important" or more credible than any other!!! Pain, whether from medical illnesses, or inside your heart are not in competition!!! You are just as important and vent out anytime hon!! Hope you can have a bit of restful time tonite 😊. Serena
Posted 4/30/2015 8:54 AM (GMT 0)
It sounds like a therapist would be good for you. It can be not only helpful to talk but cathartic.

Its not easy to get the time it takes to take care of you, especially with kids. I go to the gym 3 days a week. I get up earlier on those days. It gives me more energy and makes me feel better about myself.

This is a good place to discuss what's going on. We've been there. It sounds like you need to work on self esteem. A therapist can help with that, too.
Posted 4/30/2015 3:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome to the forum. Depression runs in my family. My grandmother had it but back then it was 'hypochondria'. Unfortunately, many folks still don't want to recognize it for what it is. They are afraid of 'mental illness'. But, that's the thing...it is an illness...that can be treated! Along with therapy, there are groups for support of folks with bulimia and anorexia. To be among peers that can really understand and relate is one of the best things for folks like us. I'm glad you are here with us. Keep posting, it really helps.
Posted 4/30/2015 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
You sure have been dealing with a lot. Is there anyone you can talk to like a pastor, counselor or friend? Maybe you could sit down and have a serious conversation with your husband to give him some insight on how you are feeling; he may want to learn more about depression and what you go through daily. Hang in there, you are not alone!
Posted 4/30/2015 8:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi RJays7,

Welcome to the depression forum. Thanks for your post...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/3/2015 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi moatx :) im sorry you're going through all this...i have been through the same not all that long ago really...i was in a relationship at a time in my life when I shouldn't have been...and definitely not with that man...he did the same...tuned out my problems..my eating disorders...my depression...even tried to tune out the attempt to SH....it brought me to the lowest...both weight and mental health...i had ever been at...but then I let go...of him and the debilitating situation I was letting myself get sucked into...it was so hard...it was hell. ..

Hey...if you ever want to chat send me a message...we don't have to go through these things alone...finding someone who you can relate to isn't always easy and talking through things is just as hard but you have already come so far posting here and getting this off your chest and out into the open...with so many lovely people that want to be there for each other :)
Posted 5/3/2015 10:48 PM (GMT 0)
I think men just don't deal with emotional issues. They want their nice little perfect life...
I'm sorry you have to,feel this way..
I do think therapy would help..
They have that new online therapy. That doesn't cost as much.
Unless you ins covers therapy...
Good luck to you ...
Posted 5/4/2015 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
My husband goes out of his way to increase my depression. Then sometimes acts all sympathetic to get me to say what's bothering me only to use it against me later ( like being stabbed then twisting the knife) I know better now however I feel utterly alone in the struggle. Been at it for a very long time. A sliver of ice grew in my heart to separate him and the depression. Now it's a glacier. So unless you want to carry around a glacier find a support group then you won't need him to feel better. I wish I could just find an excuse for him. Besides being a sadist. Sounds unfair I know. I just have trouble understanding how if you love someone who is hurting and depression hurts why not support the one you love? I just can relate to your lonely battle I had to arm myself with the fact he won't help only hinder. A support group is the best thing you can do for your self.
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