Still depressed...

I feel bad saying this but I'm sick of Mother's Day! Will it ever end? Everybody's posting all their happy pics on facebook.. remind me to stay off off of there. At church the pastor kept going on and on about how you should respect your mother.. I get it.. but I have issues with it because it's hard to respect someone who abused, neglected and failed to protect me. So.. instead I feel guilty, maybe I should have respected her more. I wasn't a good daughter.

I'm still depressed. I've Tried to get a hold of the psychiatrist since last Thursday but he hasn't called back. I guess because I don't have actual "plans" to harm myself there isn't much help I can get. I just feel like crap and it's getting really old. I will see my therapist tomorrow.. hopefully that will put me in a better frame of mind.

K,

How to we become 'good' daughters when we are not taught to be good people. We are taught to service the family. take the abusers pain and then oh, then, dare not speak about it.

Oh bother, I know who you feel.

Don't you want to just stand up and yell!

WHAT about THE REST OF US? WHAT about ME! MY MOTHER IS THE REASON I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN, MY MOTHER WAS EVIL. DO YOU KNOW WHAT EVIL MEANS? HAS ANYONE HERE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED FOR YEARS BY THEIR MOTHER? JUST BECAUSE ONE DEAD PRESIDENT LOVED HIS MOTHER AND MADE A POLITICAL MOVE WITH AN IDEA. DOES NOT MEAN THAT ALL MOTHERS ARE SAINTS.

AND WHILE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT, PRETTY MUCH SAME GOES FOR FATHERS DAY, THE SOB.

Wew, I feel a bit better. Yes, I would like to yell that in church in the middle of the sickening sweet sermon on mother and fathers day. UGH!

We are survivors with all the loneliness of survivorship. However, we are no longer alone.
and we are not longer survivors. WE ARE WARRIORS! Mother did not win. We won, she did not destroy us!

Skill ice Skills ice Skills ice
Peace and strength
Trina

Karen...

Sorry you didn't have a good relationship with your mother and that you have bad memories. I wonder how much the bad parenting we received has to do with our depression? I'm glad mothers day is over maybe I'll start feeling better. I'm not sure if that is what triggered this bout of depression or not but it's a rough one.
Anyway.. Hugs to you.. hope you are doing well.

Chris, no doubt our past has a lot to do with the depression of today.

That is why I am now seeing a therapist doing the hard work and facing my demons.

It does help.

Peace
Trina

distractions work for me. coloring, music, reading magazine, crosswords, walking, a good book. Making up lists. Such as. colors of Argyle socks; names for pet elephants, silly things like that.

Try to get out of your head.

Peace and strength.

Trina

I've always wondered had things been different growing up, would I be happy? I'm envious of people who grew up well adjusted. It's taken a while for me to realize that my mom was abusive and neglectful to me and my brothers and sister growing up. I know she was going through a rough patch with the divorce from my dad, and struggling to put food on the table.

Now I just have so many problems and feel I will never go anywhere in life because of them. I get angry at my mom, even though I guess I can't really blame her anymore at my age. I just wish things had been different. I wish she had been the mom that I needed - that we needed.

Although I have a good mother who I love wholeheartedly, I have a father who abused me and my mum throughout my childhood and teenagehood.. To this day I am always afraid that one day there will be a day that the argument will go on too long and he will kill her. She is weak and so I blame her as much as him, and to this day, she is still with him even though I tell her to leave him for good. He is my father, and I love him still despite his flaws and despite that I know for sure that my depression and panic attacks came from years trying to separate my father from attacking my mum, and getting the hits instead.
Life was never meant to be easy.... and we all have problems.. We just need to learn how to live with them and try and understand that the past does not determine our future.

Much love to all xxxx