HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Life is pointless

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 6/1/2015 2:07 PM (GMT 0)
It doesn't matter what I do. I feel I will always be stuck. I've been searching for a purpose that I don't feel exists anymore. I used to enjoy things, going places, being around my friends - now I just hole myself up, and the only time I feel good is when I'm asleep and dreaming. But the everyday life stuff just feels so pointless. There's no meaning to my life. No calling. And that scares me because if it wasn't for my husband, I don't know where I'd be. I've never been able to support myself financially. Or emotionally. Or anyway, really...

I feel like I will always need a helping hand. I know everyone does, everyone needs friends... someone to look after them but... I just wish I felt OK with needing so much help all the time. I wish I felt safe and secure but I don't. I never do. Life for me is just waiting for something terrible to happen all the time, when all I really want are those days when I had hobbies and people in my life and I didn't think about the ball dropping constantly. Life had more meaning when I was younger. Everything was exciting and I felt like I was working towards a purpose but now all I see is boring, repetitiveness and when something does happen it's not generally exciting but horrifying and unwanted.

I want these feelings to go away and I want to feel happy again someday. I want my life to be filled with purpose and meaning again. I don't want to spend the next few decades just waiting around to die or getting to my wits end with living. I wish I knew where to go but I am so lost lately.
Posted 6/1/2015 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
We cannot help, really. Purpose and goals are self-defined. Steps to move from lost to found and sad to happy are driven by the individual. I believe it is okay, even beneficial, to steep in discontent for a little while. Eventually, you do need to wring yourself out and expose yourself to the day again.

My mantra is: Move forward. Make an active choice and work towards it. Being stuck is passive, and cannot be maintained over the long run. It feels harder to get unstuck, but in reality it is a relief. Nothing can injure us faster than no expectations.

Hope you feel better!
Posted 6/1/2015 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
I think Myself is right WingZero...

Thee re things that you, yourself, define within your own mind or heart. Maybe start by setting some small goals. Accomplish them, then move on to bigger and better things. Keep it positive. Keep moving forward.

Ask yourself a few questions about what matters to you. This helps us get to know ourselves. All we can do is keep trying.

I guess if you are finding your life boring, think of other things to focus on. Find simple things to enjoy. That is what I do. I Keep things simple and that makes it easier. And we always have room and time to learn things. That can be rather gratifying.

I wish you the best, and have a good day...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 6/1/2015 4:55 PM (GMT 0)
Wing,

you are in a dark spot currently, your posts are almost the same word for word.

Do you know what coping skills are?

We all 'want' these feelings to go away. Fact is they will, it just takes time. When they do, we become stronger, for the next down hill ride. Life is a rollercoaster spread out, always going forward, with hills and valleys.

'The mindful path to self-compassion' by Christopher K. Germer, PhD

This is a wonderful book I have been using to learn how to love myself and to give myself a break just as I would tell a good friend that was feeling the way you are. I strongly suggest it to you.

www.mindful.org

Good site for anxiety, anger, fear, frustration even the bad thoughts that you have and I have overcome in the past. I still get them, I put my armor on and I use my skills, many skills. somehow I come out ok, the darkness seems to get shorter each time.

You can do this, you are worth the trouble to save yourself. Most of all, it is a wonderful feeling when you get an inkling that you are loveable.

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 6/1/2015 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
Do you think something changed, that caused you to start feeling this way? Sometimes it helps to think about what may have happened, so you can pick a starting point from which to figure out where to go. I'd be interested in hearing any ideas you might have.
Posted 6/1/2015 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
I choose reasonable contentedness over happiness and it works out so much better for me. I wake up in the morning and even before I open my eyes I say, "Something good is going to happen to me today." Then, all I have to do is recognize that good thing. Sometimes it is getting a good parking space at the shopping center. Sometimes it is that none of the cats used the dog dish as a litter box. It doesn't have to be something big or really obvious, just good. Once I realized that something good really DID happen to me each day, the next day would be even better! I hope you will try this and see if it works for you too.
Posted 6/1/2015 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Was just watching a show on television about real life for the workers in a hotel.At one point in the show the hotel was over run the boiler had broken down and theyn had to call a member of staff to work in the laundry overnight. The laundry worker dropped everything and went into work. I almost envied her she new exactly what to do was more than qualified to get the laundry cleared that must have been some buzz for her to feel so needed. I caught sight of a poster on the managers wall

Todays effort is tommorows success...................(I think theirs something in that)
Posted 6/2/2015 1:59 AM (GMT 0)
nate, a lot of things have changed, and that is part of the problem. I do not feel like the same person anymore. My health declined and got better, now my mental health has declined. I am in a lot of very stressful situations right now. Moving into a new house, breaking it off with my last therapist, dealing with intense feelings of anger towards a loving but controlling mother, trying to mend a friendship, trying to come to terms with my health issues both mentally and physically... I just don't know where to even start. All the crap just seems to be hitting the fan all at once. My instinct says to run from it all but I don't want to do that. I want to be stronger than this but I'm just so tired. I just want it to be better again.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support.
Posted 6/2/2015 10:33 AM (GMT 0)
Take each day as it comes, try not to borrow troubles. That is the best we can do...
Posted 6/2/2015 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
Wing,

Perhaps, you can start by setting boundaries with your mother.

There comes a time is life when independence is important and you must take control of your own life, if you live with your mother or not.

psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/08/17/4-tips-for-setting-healthy-boundaries/

Link for info on how to set them and what to expect as you progress.

Peace
Trina
Posted 6/3/2015 8:15 AM (GMT 0)
I been suffering depression for 10 years.im only 26 and i know i still got a long journey to go but day by day im living in misery. Having a broken family and neglected. Been taking care of my ill depressed mother costing my up growing severely. Lacking of social exposure caused me to face much difficulty making new friends and low self esteem. Life get worse when starting working. Couldnt concentrate on whats im doing and feeling helpless. Boss dislike my lack of capabilities and stupidity. Im not good at talking offending many which i genuinely did not intend to. I am in a mess now. I dont know what i want to do since i dont like my job too. I was always a nobody and taking care of myself especially when i fell sick. Nobody understand how needy and lonely i am. Felt very helpless and insignificant. Couldn't enjoy my present as the past keep reminding me how miserable and useless i am. I need liberation from all this low self esteem and selt worth.
Posted 6/3/2015 9:31 AM (GMT 0)
1 problem at a time. writing some stuff out, prioritizing does help. take care.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply