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cant believe this.............

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Posted 7/18/2015 5:03 AM (GMT 0)
so me and my boyfriend have been together for 12 years- since we were 16- and we have three kids together.im used to him being trustworthy and loyal, until 2 days ago.feels like my world is upside down and I am so heartbroken. my depression and anxiety and panic have been really bad and hes always the one there for me.hes an awesome father and (was)an awesome boyfriend/husband. he leaves his phone at home the other day and I go to call his friend he works with to have him call me and his friends name is in there twice, and the other one is another girl that he met in mandatory rehab (for his dui's a long time ago)...of all places.I am just in complete shock looking at these text messages at the time.it has been a mess and my mind is a mess.of course I wont break up with him because hes all ive ever known and our kids would be heartbroken if that were to happen.this is our family.he used some stupid exuses and keeps apologizing from the bottom of his heart said why he was doing it and it is just pointless to me.was only messages but very hurtful messages and stuff.one thing I do have is a high self esteem (and so does he,but used the exuse that he didn't...) so I never felt bad about myself or had a reason to until now.just another thing added to my depression that wasnt there before...ugh. ): ive lost 10 pounds over this feeling like im not good enough,geez ill be down to 100 pounds soon.ive had a horrible migraine ever since that morning and my overall outlook on life is just BLAH,right now.i feel like I'm not good enough now.awful awful feeling..nothing that he is telling me even matters right now because I don't even trust him now.so what happens next? not sure what the next step is and it feels horrible!!! my whole mind state is in a whole different sad place and I don't know what to do.... )':
Posted 7/18/2015 9:27 AM (GMT 0)
Maybe it is time to move on. I guess it is all up to you and what you are going to live with. Some people stay together and some part. Take it one day at a time and don't make any hasty decisions.

I am sorry this happened.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/18/2015 3:14 PM (GMT 0)
well good thing we aren't married I guess... we WERE happy.
Posted 7/18/2015 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
WOW asdf23, that was a cold comment and un-needed. The saying goes, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything. :(

I'm so sorry this happened to you Lacey, Having been cheated on myself I know how it feels to lose trust in the one you love. I would say take a hard long look at your relationship, maybe write down a pro and con list of why you should go or stay in the relationship right now. It is a hard place to be in, but you really need trust to make a relationship work, do you think you'll ever be able to trust him again? If not, then you need to take a long hard look at if you want to live your life living with someone you don't trust.

My heart goes out to you.
Posted 7/18/2015 5:11 PM (GMT 0)
My heart goes out to you and so very sorry you found out this way, trust is a delicate balance, but maybe suggest couples counseling and if he should agree maybe try to work on building up that trust again.
I Hope couples counseling can help you both as it probably a step in the healing direction, if not then maybe seek out help with your local clergy/pastor...there is still help out there seek out counseling...
Keep us posted and I hope you both can work together on a solution...
Posted 7/19/2015 4:05 AM (GMT 0)
Asd. Perhaps if you hadn't started with , I can't blame him and had just given the statistic it wouldn't have come across as a bit insensitive. While there isn't censorship, remember that people come here because they are hurting.

Do we need to hear the truth, yes. Just be mindful of how a person in a low state may receive what is being said. Also, as with texts and emails we can't hear tone and voice inflections so sometimes harmless statements can be misinterpreted.

Just my thoughts.
Posted 7/19/2015 9:34 AM (GMT 0)
I agree, we are all sensitive people and hurt easily... We try to be mindful of what we post...

Blessings to all...

Karen...

btw, I met my first husband at 18. We were together 23 years until he died of lung cancer...
Posted 7/19/2015 2:15 PM (GMT 0)
ASD, I read no threat in the post. Only another strong opinion, as was yours.

Wishing Peace on this thread.

Lacey, it sounds as if your relationship may have run its course. My belief in life is, if it takes so much work to keep a relationship together, perhaps it was not meant to be in the end. A happy union is hard enough work in the tough times.

You as a person deserve more. So do your children.

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 7/19/2015 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Everyone. We're in it to stay because we have three kids. It was only messaging, but it hurt me because of the lengths they went. I talked to her boyfriend and she's known for doing this. He wouldn't leave he said he'll never leave because our children are involved- they love daddy they'd be very very hurt- so we're working through it. People go through things, and believe me we have before, it doesn't mean their relationship is over.. And love wins again<3 I'll forgive eventually but I'll never forget!! When two people love each other they can be together forever even when times are tough!!
Posted 7/19/2015 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
Lacey, just remember if you need it there is couples counseling which might also help you to regain the trust. I wish you both well. Eventuality you will forget, but it does take time and healing, sounds like you got a positive outlook again and that's a very big plus...venting on here is a good way of getting these issues out...
Many well wishes...
Posted 7/19/2015 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
I like your attitude, I hope his commitment to you is as strong as it is to your children. It is hard if love is only going one way. Chart is smart is suggest couples counseling if he is serious about staying. therapy is good for all of us. Helps communication.

Peace
Trina
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