Depressed Loved one.

Hello Everyone, I am writing in hopes you may help me understand and help me in this difficult time. My Girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me about 5 months ago. I did not see this coming at all. She moved back in to her parents house and left me in the apartment. It destroyed me emotionally and mentally as I did not know the reason why. She gave me so many reasons that just didnt make sense. She still kept in touch with me. When I moved out she asked to have all her belongings in the same storage with mine. As time passed I blamed myself for the break up as to what could I have done. she has been feeling down for the past 2 years tellign me shes been feeling depressed. I tried taking her on Road Trips, walks, runs, hiking and so on during the time we lived together. Fast foward to this October, she finally decided to seek help. I was proud of her. She went to the Doctor and explained what is going on and gave her Lexapro. Im a very understanding and very approachable person. I listen and try to understand. Im the only one in her Family that knows shes is depressed and taking medication. To her if her family knows this they will consider her crazy. Told her to NOT worry what others say and focus on healing and being positive. I truly love her and thats why Im still here. ITs been a heck of a ride thats for sure.   

At times its too much for me and hurts and fustrates me. One day shes happy and calls me and wants me to see her and other days she doesnt call/text or anything. Im not used to this side of her. I wrote her a letter of how much I love and care for her. How I am here for her and I am not going to anywhere. she cried and told me thank you. I guess what im asking here is this what depression does to a loved one? makes you not recognized them or their actions? Can anyone give me advise as to what to do as Im thinking she doesnt love me anymore or Im annoying her..idk anymore.How can I best help her?i feel like im loosing not just my girl but my best friend..  Any advise will help...

Post Edited (humanbeing) : 12/10/2015 4:11:42 PM (GMT-7)

Thank you for replying JRF007. I truly love her and doing what I can to help her and be there for her. At times it is fustrating and hurtful but I have learned to not take it personal. I will give her her space.


Love and Light.

Feeling depressed and being uncertain can be very painful. Atleast that’s what I went through too. But we tend to not understand the feelings and thoughts that give rise to these feelings and what helped me was getting into therapy from a professional. I found my resolve on www.seekspark.com – they have a really good network of professionals dealing well with these issues online,. I think you should definitely give it a shot! :)

I can only speak for myself as I have unfortunately had depression since I was 10. It started with how I was brought up- lack of affection, beyond strict rules, verbal abuse and non communication. I have been on medication off and on and have found now that the side effects out weigh the happiness it brings. I have all the normal signs also, of roller coaster emotions, being very sensitive, fatigue, and solitation. I was with my ex off and on for 5 years and unfortunately it has been brought to my attention how hard I am to love. My advice for you is to not let her push you away but give her healing time. Keep in touch, let her know you love her unconditionally, don't take things personal as depression is a negative thought process. I commend you for not giving up on her. I wish there were more men like you. It won't be an easy road but love is love. People with depression want it more than anyone, as feeling not worthy due to the mental illness. I hope this was able to shed some light on how it affects our lives. Best wishes.

@freakedoutonethank, @always.sad, @ginaspark, @pitmom;

Thank you all for your support and words of ecouragement. I will try to encourage her to talk to a therapist as I think it will help but thats all I can do is encourage her to do it. I will be the BEST darn tornado chaser I can be. I love her and I wont give up on her. Posting and my love for her gives me the motivation and strength to continue this journey with her.

SHe was doing very good until 11/10/15, I had slept over her house and she told me her father didnt like the idea of me sleeping over and he doesnt approve of this. She told him how can it bother him if we are 35 yrs old, we are sleeping with the door open and I was sleeping on the floor and not in the bed wit her. After that day she became a little distant. she did end up telling me this the next day that she mad that her father told her something about me (she was crying). I told her its ok and not to worry about it. Since that time she has not really asked me to go over as much. I asked her why she doesnt ask me to go over to see her and she said "I just dont want my dad to get mad or say something". To me, in all truth. I think its affecting her being at her parents home. Its nothing but negativity from what she tells me.