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Posted 10/20/2015 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
Nat,

Sewing hobbies is a wonderful idea! Anything that is creative and productive!. I love sewing. It like a jigsaw puzzle that is practicle!

I also crotchet, taught myself. So I do not hold the left hand yarn as tradition would have it. I know how to knit, do not like it.

Journal, art and am teaching myself to play piano, long process there. Need to take more lessons. I know my limits, like learning a new lanquage.

Now that you are not at fault. You are couragous and brave, for breaking all contact with a manipulative toxic person.

Kudos for you!

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 10/21/2015 10:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Nat,

I love coming here because it feels safe. I am sure it feels that way for you too. I do better here than talking face to face. It is hard for me.

I hope you are having a good day today. Yes, kudos to you for all you are doing. Good coping skills.

Take care and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen....
Posted 10/23/2015 1:58 AM (GMT 0)
Sewing is really nice! I sew since I was very young and it's something that I enjoy, I even have a little on-line shop for my stuff so that keeps me busy in my free time.
I don't know how to crochet though. But I think that these activities are great to put the mind in a another mode. Doing things with our hands help us to develop other kind of process in the brain.

Playing instruments must be marvelous. I used to play the flute at school and it was lovely. Congratulations for Trina with the piano, such a beautiful instrument...but challenging indeed.

I have been with some eerie mood swings, feeling calm for some moments and then feeling really teary and exhausted in others. Very tired some days. I am sleeping a lot, but I feel tired a bit more easily than usual. I don't want to think, so I try to keep myself as busy as possible.
Posted 10/23/2015 10:31 AM (GMT 0)
Staying busy is good. Keep up the good work.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 11/7/2015 1:14 PM (GMT 0)
It's being hard, but I think I have been reacting well. Thankfully I have lots of things to occupy my mind.

I do have this weird and yucky sense of loss. I am waiting for it to go away, because I think this had made me very anxious. And I must add some family problems that I'm having recently, so these last months have been a rough patch for me.

I still don't want to do any thinking on this issue, I just hope that I can get through it. It will definitely take a lot of time. I do feel fragile and exhausted.
Posted 11/7/2015 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
One day at a time NatCat. That is all we can do.

Take care of you. Do something nice for yourself today.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 11/8/2015 12:58 PM (GMT 0)
Natcat,

I don't remember it I suggested it before, however journaling about emotions can help make a person stronger. It works as a dumping ground for the bad emotions when we are feeling as you are.

Granted not all skills work for all people, but I find journaling a welcome skill. It organizies my thoughts within 24 hours. This is because once I write them down, I still down consider them. I may even go back to the journal and make more notes in a different color ink or journal more on the subject.

I hope this helps you.
Peace
Trina
Posted 11/18/2015 11:46 AM (GMT 0)
I had never though in the idea of journaling before idea

I still don't feel that strong enough yet, but I might try it. I am calming down, some days I feel calm, other days I feel thoughtful and worried. But as Karen said, one day at a time. I will get better.
Posted 11/18/2015 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
One other suggestion...I was told to write my 'worries' on a slip of paper and put them in a little box. I could also put what changes I hoped to make on slips of paper and put them in the box too. After 30 days, I would take the papers out of the box, see what had been bothering me and how things may have changed. I was surprised to see that some of the things had simply disappeared or had been resolved with the changes. New month, same box. I did this for a few months. It really helped me.
Posted 12/26/2015 3:33 AM (GMT 0)
I have been coping pretty well sewing like nuts, it´s creative outlet for me and during Xmas I managed to sell a lot of stuff.
My office job has been pretty demanding in the last weeks and with other family related issues I have been very busy. I also have a very uncomfortable laringitis that is making talking really difficult, so I'm trying to take care of myself too, it has not been that easy during these Xmas festivities.
I suppose that these have been my "therapy activities" for now.

Today I found out that he is receiving the visit or living or whatever with his new lady. I am in this weird stupid disbelief, and it won't be long before I'll feel like I've been kicked in the face. What an unpleasant feeling, to get that bit of news in and try to avoid it from affecting me.
It feels like forever smhair

I am doing my best to move on and to be patient with myself... yeah

But it still makes me feel awful. My goodness give me patience and clarity.
Posted 4/15/2018 4:40 PM (GMT 0)
It's been a long time since I posted!

A lot has also gone by.
Lots of travel and work smile

I also saw my ex coincidentally, some weeks ago, we were in line for an event in his country, he was a few meters from were I was. We exchanged a quick greeting. I just couldn't believe it.
He was there with his friends and new gf.

I also did a visit to his mothers house and she told me that effectively, he has not searched for medical help during this time and that his new partner does most of the outdoor tasks. So he finally got things his way and has not made mayor progress for his mental illness. What a shame.

But I dodged a bullet. I can't give in, into living a life like that. Making all the effort, whilst the other part barely budges.
Posted 4/15/2018 7:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi NatCat...

Thanks for posting and letting us know how things are going. You are a work in progress (as we all are) and doing good. I am happy for you.

Your ex on the other hand, well, we choose our lives actually and I guess he has his choices. Though like you say, he isn't making much progress. But it is what it is and that seems to be what he wants. Or maybe is capable of.

We can celebrate your accomplishes and keep moving forward. That is what it is all about. I am glad you are doing well and thanks again for popping in. It is always nice to see things going well for others.

Have a wonderful rest of the day. I am staying in as we are having a winter storm. Boo Hoo!!!

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/15/2018 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Karen!

It's just when I saw him again several weeks ago, I revived part of the memories that I had about that time of my life. It was awkward, I felt that I still cared.
I think I might care most of my life, but I just have to ignore it all.

The show must go on smile
Posted 4/15/2018 10:20 PM (GMT 0)
I think it is good that you care. But you know you can't do anything to improve his situation. He has to do that. It is his life and all totally up to him. I am glad you have moved on.

I can imagine it would be awkward. But you got through it all. You are making great strides.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/18/2018 2:15 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your words.
They have helped me to get my thoughts in order.
I must say it was a mayor thing for me but thank goodness I am better now and my mind has much more clarity.

Thank you for paying attention to this long and winding situation. yeah
Posted 4/18/2018 8:27 AM (GMT 0)
I am glad you feel that way. It is so hard watching others at times. Especially when they wont do anything to help themselves.

I hope you are able to keep moving forward. I am happy you have come this far.

Keep hanging in there...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/6/2018 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Good you moved on !

What a sucker your ex!
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