Right place to vent?

The company he worked at for 16 years closed it's doors this June and he's been trying to find a job with the help of Goodwill Industries. He was hired by a janitor service and lasted 2½ days before having an anxiety/panic attack.

He recently admitted to a crisis team member that he's felt afraid for his safety as well as mine and our son's since 9/11. (Post-Traumatic Stress?)

Anyway, I called Ron's psychatrist(with his permission) and left a message that I think she needs to check the medicine issue... I think he needs something different.

I'm beginning to feel like my life is falling apart; I know it's not but it's hard to be strong all the time! (I've thought of giving Ron the boot and asking for a separation but I can't do that because his mental health issues are not his fault... it's not like he's cheating on me... it would be easier if he was!! LOL)  I've got our son, Jeremy, who just turned 13 in October to think about too. I know this is also hard him but he handles this better than me sometimes! He's seen a counselor about all of this before and the counselor told me that Jeremy's better adjusted than he(the counselor) is! Jeremy is a straight A student. He plays the trumpet and french horn in the school band and is VERY into animals.... he wants to be a Herpetologist!

Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent my frustration somewhere and I thought of this forum because I'm familiar with the site as I have Crohn's Disease and have posted on that forum before.

TTFN ~ Cathy

    I hope your Thanksgiving was good. Just wanted to give you an update on things here. Ron's been on Paxil for 2 weeks now... I don't know how long it takes to have an effect but he says he's feeling better. He SEEMS a little happier and less afraid of things but I think the real test will be if and when he finds a job and how he handles things then. His car broke down last week and it's gonna cost close to $1000 to fix it(hard to put that kind of money into a 1987 Jeep with close to 200,000 miles but still cheaper than buying another vehicle)... he handled it well, I'm the one that had the melt down.... normally it's the other way around       

Thanks for listening.

TTFN ~ Cathy

I recognize you from the Crohn's forum... yes, I am taking care of myself. It's been hard putting myself before everyone else for a change but I'm getting better at it.

Luckily, my Crohn's is not too severe, it does run thru my entire colon but I haven't needed any surgery for it yet (I was diagnosed 16 years ago this month). I've been getting Remicade infusions every 8 weeks since April 29, 2004 and it's working wonders!

I do work (I'm a Paraprofessional... which is a stressful job) so I'm not home 24/7. Ron and I have discussed the Social Security Disability issue and agree that it's a last resort but decided that we should at least start the ball rolling because it takes so long. He would rather work but finding a job hasn't been easy because of his disability. Unfortuantely for him too is the fact that he was never given any responsibility when he was growing up and he always heard "Ronnie, you can't do that" by his parents. He was told that he was dyslexic but nothing else, so his mental health issues were pretty much ignored until his father passed away 13 years ago.

I have gone over all the different senerios and keep coming up with one constant: even tho Ron's mental health issues will never go away completely (like my Crohn's), he is getting help. The day he tells me that he doesn't need any more help will be the day I tell him to pack his bags!

Amazingly, since starting the Paxil on November 9, he says he's feeling a lot better and he's not afraid to leave the house. Unfortunately, he's got no way of going anywhere right now because his car's in the shop. He does go for walks with our son which is good... I get peace and quiet for a little while and they have time alone together without me butting in..... lol  

Thank you for your insight... I always appreciate learning how other people cope.

TTFN ~ Cathy

Hi Everyone.... Sorry I haven't checked in lately.... been busy working and my son has been using the computer a lot for school stuff.

Anyway, things haven't really changed here much. My husband is still looking for work, unemployment ran out a couple weeks ago and we won't hear about Social Security Disability until March or April. He's still doing well on the Paxil but I still think the real test will be when he goes back to work.

I think I might need to contact my doctor about depression. I've been very irritable lately, crying over the littlest things, snapping at people for stupid reasons.... I could go on and on but I won't.

Well, that's it for now.... time to dig out from the 14"(or more) of snow... the plows just came by so the driveway needs to be cleared.

(((((HUGS))))) to all!

TTFN ~ Cathy