Depressed beyond words and chemical imbalance

Im posting for the first time here.I transfered from the IBD forum to this one *sigh*.I have Crohn's,glomerulonephritis,mild osteoporosis and now i have mental problems.When i got diagnosed with Crohn's disease before two years i started getting awful anxiety and personallity issues.I started high school and things got worse.I wasnt myself i kept doing weird things,couldnt talk with people.I was afraid my disease could have a flare up,i was having constant worrying thoughts and the ANXIETY WAS TERRIBLE.I was doing great with life two months back.I had friends,my diseases were under control and i felt awesome!I enjoyed life as it is.But i still thought i have some form of depression.I still acted totally different in front of certain people and didnt know who i am.Then i started taking Prednisone and it triggered a nental disorder.My psychriatic doctor told me its a "chemical imbalance" but i think i may be in a depressive state or even bipolar.While on high doses of prednisone i started noticing things werent right.I would have awful insomnia,mood changes,very old memories started attacking my head.Feeling that something is wrong with my body,a feeling that something is chasing me and just these awful delusions and imagination.While watching moovies i couldnt catch what was happening and one day i went bonkers.I was having a feeling that when i talk to somebody and then to someone else he knows what the conversation.I had delusions that the world was ending that i could control what people were saying but my voice,that night and day switched places and that people are living like its the end.I didnt sleep for three straight days!I thought i was a little child,that i have to die and go to hell...Just a manic episode!In front of my family.I said things and cried and did bad things,i even tried to suicide (not my logical thinking here) more than 3 times!!!I was then put in psychriatric hospital for three weeks on Diazepam and other drugs.They gave me 3 full pills a day of Diazepam...I then started talking and thinking normally when i went out but i still have sucide thoughts.Everyday passes super fast.I lost my nostalgia feeling.I dont feel abything when listening to music or watching movies.I cant remember what i was doing what happened today and or what im supposed to do.I keep forgetting my phone in school and i cant keep a normal conversation.Im sad and i dont want to do anything.I feel like i have interest in doing what i did before but when i start doing it i immediatly stop.Its like i start a video game and then i turn it right off.I can watch anything you show me on tv !!!Im not gonna be like before saying i dont like this or i need to watch that.I can literally just watch repeating commercials on end all day! I keep staring at people now knowing what to say to them or where to go.Any advice and is anyone feeling like this?Please help and thanks for your attension!

I'm so sorry your going through this. How confused and scared you must feel.
Maybe your medication is having some side effects. Have you told the doctor who prescribed the meds what is happening to you?

I'm sending positive energy your way, hoping you have a good day.

"Feelings are something I have not something I am"

Peace, Love, & Light <3

Since you can only see a therapist once a month, I think getting a book on anxiety would be very helpful. Deep breathing helps too. Especially if you have an anxiety attack.
Breath in through the nose and out through the mouth with pursed lips. Called smelling the roses and blowing out the candles. I breath in till the count of three and out till the count of five. Making the out breath a little longer. This slows down the heart and breathing and relaxes us.

The meditation works a lot with controlled breathing and relaxing muscles. Get a book on that too.

I hope you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen...

Texikka, if you read much in the crohns forum here at Healing Well, you will see many talk about a love hate relationship with Prednisone. While it works wonders for us when we are in a flare up, what it does to our psych we hate. It is well known for causing mood swings & insomnia. Does your dr have you on anything else other than Prednisone? Steroids are great for us but short term only. I hope you get to feeling better. Take care.