Too ugly for anything or anyone.

hi and welcome. first, you are a unique and special person of the universe,
trust me, finding love finds you, and not you it. if someone goes of features
alone, then they are mistaken. many of us have been where ya at,
it sucks, just be you, the rest will follow. keep busy, and doing the best ya can.
keep strong.

Dude, two words for you: "Steve Buscemi". Or Clint Howard. Or any of the lesser Baldwins.

These are not conventionally decent looking people, but they're all married and happy.

There's no magic bullet for getting a date, but looks play a much smaller role than you think.

Age has a way of evening things out. Younger people are usually more shallow about this, especially in our current culture of media-saturated perfection.

I never had a date until college, junior year, after I lost weight. Then I was beating them off. The boost of confidence was all I needed.

Might I suggest you aren't looking in the right places? Online dating is hit-or-miss, mostly miss these days.

Confidence is more important than you might think.

Men as a rule are very superficial and think they are Gods gift to women.
It is so important for a woman to develop self esteem and confidence in herself. Finding a job or hobby that she likes can be a big boost to self esteem

I never used to think negatively about myself and I used to have confidence, in those 7 years I even took a year and didn't try dating as everyone was telling me to stop looking and love will find me. I've tried meeting girls in activities or groups I like, I've probably spent in the thousands on dating site and counselling but nothing has worked. I have never nor will I ever see myself or act like I'm gods gift to women so carlarenee please don't generalize men like that.

I stopped going to events, activities or groups that I like because I really dislike seeing girls who have rejected me in really negative ways. I will not spend a single cent more on dating sites only to have all my messages ignored, and my profiles unviewed.

I don't judge girls by looks, I'd rather walk over and see what their personality is like.

I'm a nice guy and my friends will agree, I help anyone when I can. Some of my friends say I'm too nice of a person which I don't think is possible.

Only last year did I mentally break and start believing all the negative things hundreds of girls were saying on a regular basis, I'm ugly, I'm not good enough, I'm too fat which I gained from eating when I felt depressed. I'm working it off however. There are days where I cry myself to sleep or nights I wake up and just start to cry. I even wake up some days so depressed I can't move and I call into work and just stay in bed for 1 - 2 days only getting up to use the bathroom or shower. I no longer leave the house other than to go to work. I feel like I can't take rejection anymore, it's become too taxing on me mentally and I don't think I have enough strength left to hold back myself from self-harming. I'd rather be alone than feel the pain of rejection.

we are here for ya.

"Being attractive" is only about 25-30% physical, in my book. The other 70-75% is mentally attractive, emotionally attractive, spiritually attractive -- those kinds of things count BIG time!

And I had my really ugly period - where my attitude was so negative, my spirits so low - of course I didn't look very attractive to anyone!! I had to work my ass off to become interesting to people, to learn to have conversations, to be able to share my good traits with others, to be able to enjoy life. If I wasn't enjoying my own life, how could I expect anyone else to enjoy it with me????

I have never had a partner that matches what is physically attractive to me - (blond, tan, blue-eyed, very fit and well-proportioned). But I have a partner who keeps me interested, laughing, and enjoying the world around us!!!

We can't be happy with others until we are happy with ourselves.

Best wishes.

BnotAfraid said...
Really ? Alex your self imposed lack of self-esteemed is the issue. NOT your looks.

It is tough out there to find a good mate. Chin up.

Peace
Trina

This is the problem people replying without reading. My lack of self confidence comes from 7 years of being told I was ugly or I was not good enough, I didn't impose nothing on myself instead it grew and grew for 7 years from all the things that was said to me. I try to bring my self-esteem up by doing a various set of "tricks" I was told to do, such as; Standing in front of a mirror and saying nice or uplifting things about myself but when I see myself in the mirror all I feel now is hate towards myself, I can't even leave my house without a hoodie anymore because every time people look at me I feel I have to cover up like I'm some kind of monster. I'm sorry but I can't fix the last 7 years of conditioning just by wiping it away like it never happened and maybe I shouldn't.

I had a dream last night that my first girlfriend who died pretty young came and embraced me telling me everything was going to be alright but it felt more like her calling me home.

I would agree that it's a self-esteem issue except for the fact that my looks have been commented on by girls a lot turning it into an issue of conditioning. I am doing therapy but it's not helping any.

These girls do not make the rules of life and looks. And so what anyway? If you thought I was ugly, would you think I was a lesser person? Would you think that I was stupid? What I am trying to say is even if you were ugly, that would not make you a lesser person in my eyes. Looks are only a fraction of what makes a person. And in most people's eyes, it means nothing. Sure it is nice to be attractive, but even the most beautiful person is ugly if they aren't a good person. Personality makes a lot, wisdom, and most of all kindness.

If your therapist isn't helping, get another. But they can only do half the work, it is up to us to do the other half. You have to start believing in yourself. Get your mind off of appearances and work on feeling good.

I hope that this helps.

Hugs, Karen...

Alright,


I get that you were bullied, that does not mean you are ugly. Look in the mirror, the truth is there.

Are you kind to people?
If your neighbor needs help, are you there for them?
Do you let squirrels cross the road when driving?
Would you stop and try to get a scared cat or dog out of the middle of the road?

I bet you would

Here is a poem from Tyler Knott Gregson, I believe it says volumns on this subject. If you can not dig yourself out of this mire. Get a therapist and ask about Cognitive therapy.

/www.facebook.com/TylerKnottGregson/photos/a.272154426219076.48140.140193369415183/784629471638233/?type=3&theater#

Peace
Trina

I don't know if I'm a good guy anymore. All the females in my life who see me as the "good guy" or "brother type" or "I don't want to ruin the friendship by dating" type of guy, I no longer offer them my shoulder when they're in pain over other guys, by not answering my phone when they call or text.

I won't ever date again or talk to girls again. Certain circumstances came about and I self harmed and well I decided to move to my grandparents farm out in the middle of nowhere and take over the farm after they pass.