New to this group; Hi Everyone

Hello Everyone,

I have joined this group because I am suffering depression. I am a 37 year old gay male and live in Oregon. I have suffered depression on and off most of my life and was officially diagnosed and put on medication in 2009. I recently have been having a relapse of depression due to a painful breakup. I am also trying to cut out or reduce alcohol and marijuana from my life. I see a therapist once a week and go to a support group once a week. I am on medication and will see a new psychiatrist on 11/20. I am thinking I may need to change my medication.

The break up happened 2 1/2 months ago and since then I have slid back into depression. I have been having low energy, a very dark mood, and feeling lost, disconnected, discouraged, and not interested in anything. It's been very difficult to concentrate at work. My goals are to reduce/stop the alcohol and pot use, get my meds evaluated, meditate regularly, eat well, and exercise, in the hope that some day I will begin to feel better and like myself again. I truly thought this relationship might be "the one" and when it ended, I was devastated and have not been myself since.

Thank you for your support.

I know what you mean fallingawake. All too well.
But It does sound like you also have a good plan in place !

I know you may feel embarrassed but remember it is an illness like any other. It is something we really can't help. It sounds like you have a good therapist.

Hang in there...

Hugs, Karen...

Thank you for your comments Karen and Happy Turtle, I appreciate it!

You're grieving. There are stages to grief. I wish I could quote them, but my brain is non compliant just now.

I agree with cutting out the other substances. Alcohol is a depressant and makes it harder for our meds to do their job.

As for outpatient...it helped me tremendously. Just being in a room of people that 'felt' the way I did, and knowing that at the door...not having to 'explain'...was a relief. Hearing what others were struggling through helped me judge just where I was at on my mental scale. Some days better, some days worse. It helped. Hearing others' coping skills and finding more things to try out myself helped. Sharing about the things that helped me, helped.

Just like a cold virus affects some people 'worse' than others, and different remedies can help, we all need time to recover. Some bounce back quickly, some have symptoms linger longer. Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself the way you want to treat another and the way you want another to treat you.

I learned to cook myself a good full meal, set the table with the 'good china', light candles, play nice music, in other words 'treat' myself. The fact that I was 'finding myself worthy' of the effort made a good difference in my day. I found myself dressing nicer, paying more attention to personal hygiene, wearing a bit of fragrance, it all did wonders for me. "Look good/feel good" therapy. I still practice this today.

Looking back...which is the only way I seem to learn...I realized that first of all, I don't attract everyone I am attracted to. Those I did attract were generally attracted to surface things, as I was too. The 'deal breakers' were different with most, though. One breakup was caused when I stopped drinking but the other person didn't want to stop what they were using. Another breakup was caused by the other persons' insecurity. Another breakup was because of the others' selfishness. Of course, my part was my own stubborness and inability to compromise. I guess my point is, there were attitudes that were 'rejected', not ME. Attitudes can be adjusted and sometimes they should be. YOU were not rejected, just one aspect. For some, these aspects become deal breakers. Of course, it hurts to be the one left, but it is the only way to 'make room' for the one we are supposed to be with. Each break up brings us closer to that one.

I'm glad you found us. Keep posting and let us know how things are going.

surfing with the alien, cool album by joe satriani.