Posted 11/20/2016 4:25 AM (GMT 0)
I appreciate your reply.
You said,
"I think she is depressed about all of the issues at the same time. Her parents being gone now and us leaving our home town and loss of friends and family support. The home and city we are in now are great. The children have adjusted"
OK, I seem to comprehend that better.
The way you put it, it's very understandable what she's going through and how she's reacting to it and why.
OK, so the parents moved from the town where you are now, to the town where her sister is.
So, she's had the rug pulled out from her in two ways: moving to a new city, and with her parents moving out of that city.
Maybe, that's one reason she was excited to move to the new city. But now that excitement is gone once her parents moved.
Well, in a way, that's just bad luck. Right when you're fixing to move, the parents move away from the new city.
My girlfriend wanted to move to my city; when she got there, I had lost my job, as a manic-depressive who had a hard time holding jobs, and so when she got to my city, I had gotten a job in another city, and had moved out of that city.
You know, just bad luck. Bad luck does happen. I try to remind myself when that happens, that just bad luck. I'm very affected by it, but I'm just telling myself, you can't control that.
I also tell myself, you've had some good luck. So, I'm telling myself, good luck and bad luck, you can't control it, it just happens.
So, I don't know what you should do. I don't know what I should do when I have bad luck. I hurts, it hurts, it hurts. I anguish over it, it caused me torment, and there's nothing I can do about it.
But try to stay positive. I'm still alive, as I try to think of all the good things that are going on in my life.
I would try to stay positive. I would try to tell myself, "one problem at a time, and try to stay positive." One day at a time.
When I would get into a situation like that as a kid, let's say I wanted whatever, but I couldn't have it, my dad would, "OK, let's just do it this way, and if you want to change it later, we can come back and change it."
Meaning, he wanted to get my eagerness to calm down until tomorrow, say, and by tomorrow, my eagerness (for something impractical) would have gone away and I would have basically forgotten about it and would be more accepting of reality.
You know, something like when we ask God for something, and we don't get our request, and people say, "Sometimes the answer from God is `No.'"
If the kids are settled, the job is going OK, you can, "Look, we can go visit your parents sometime." Like my dad used to say.
You say:
"I have agreed to sell this house and walk away from my job to get her where she needs to be. No remorse or ever holding it over her head. I love her with all I have and this happening so suddenly has me worried about her deeply. She doesnt eat. She cant stay awake. She seems empty day in and day out."
And also what she is "saying" by her actions and words is important, also. You know, "Let Go and Let God."
Monitor it day by day and see where it leads you.
Again, just staying positive is a big point. You can say, "We can do anything you want. I can handle it either way."
Because you may not want to move, but you may not want to be without your wife, either. Or to see her uncomfortable.
That might be the most important thing. What makes members of the family happy.