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Posted 3/4/2017 1:36 AM (GMT 0)
I honestly dont know where to being, but i have to start somewhere, so ig I start like this. Last time I dared to post on here was maybe 3-4 years ago, back when I was in 8th grade. I now am in the 11th and are trying to reflect on myself. I havent quite given up hope, as evidenced by my presence on here, but I still feel down(even more then usual). I am not the same younger version would just post anything I threaten to. I just need encouraging words perhaps or.... maybe my sertione(spellcheck) is low? I constantly felt the need to vent in someway. Music is usually my outlet but it can only help so many times before it becomes tiresome in itself. I have many conflicts that would take a novel for me to explain so ill be brief.

**Home Life is a wreck
***School Life is still an issue
*Females
**Figuring myself out
*Running out of pills again(I may not need them?)
***Issue of having Aspberger(although i dont feel like i do but its stated those who have it never notice it)
**Feeling like a complete outsider(Apparently by being annoying)
*etc.

P.S. Problems Are Rated By Star

P.P.S. Star Key
*Low-Key
**Minor-Key
***Major-Key
Posted 3/4/2017 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
So you're 16 or 17 years old now? And have you been diagnosed with Asperger's? If not, I would seek an assessment. The diagnosis alone won't change your life for the better, but it may enable you to access help from services, charities, and other groups aimed at disabled/autistic people. It will also hopefully enable you to understand yourself better. I am on the spectrum and one thing I can safely say which has plagued me all my life is a feeling of not belonging. It was particularly bad in my teens. In fact the late teens was an all round pretty bad part of my life.

Hang in there. It does get better. Most of the things which hugely bug you now won't bug you when you're older. Seek whatever help/support you can from counsellors, friends, family, etc. If friends and family are no good, then it's even more important to find an empathetic adult who will listen to you.
Posted 3/4/2017 2:07 PM (GMT 0)
I've been diagnosed yes, but i don't quite know who to seek for help(If it is available at any point). Any suggestion?
Posted 3/4/2017 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Would therapy help with Asperger's? Or a support group???

I hope you find the help you need.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/5/2017 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
Jay-J:

You said,

"I havent quite given up hope, as evidenced by my presence on here"

That is a good sign. Keep reporting in.

You say, "Home Life is a wreck." How is it a wreck?

How is figuring yourself out a problem?

You say, "Feeling like a complete outsider(Apparently by being annoying)"

I've had a hard time with that, also. In the last year or so, I've been trying to figure out a job I had when I was in my 20's.

I don't have a lot of social skills, and in my first week or so of my new job, my boss introduced me to someone outside the company that I was supposed to be working with, and I totally messed it up. And my boss reacted to that right in front of me and this guy.

And I think about that from time to time, and it really doesn't get any easier.

I was just thinking of that tonight. My older brother and sister would be at a party for teens at our house, and they would be socializing very well. I would be standing there, but I would not be socializing.

I would rationalize by thinking, "Well, I'm several years younger than they are and I don't have to socialize."

Well, I was able to think that for 10 years or more, cause I was always the youngest child. But then came the time when I was thrown into the workforce, and there would be no more excuses, type of situation. No more standing behind my older brother and sister, not saying anything.

I would have to relate with the most difficult of people, my bosses. Oh, horror. Truly nightmares. I didn't ever get very good at that, but I was just thinking tonight, I have skills some of those good socializers don't.

Would I give up my skills to be able to do small talk/socialize like they can? No. Would I really want to be like that? No.

Did I wish I could when I was going through that stage? Yeah. Where would I have ended up if I had done it right? Well, the equivalent of the produce manager at a local grocery store. Did I really want that? No, I just wanted to be me.

All my weaknesses and all my strengths.

Or as the saying goes, "Be yourself, who else is better qualified?"

So, what are some of your interests?
Posted 3/5/2017 1:52 AM (GMT 0)

Jay-J said...
I've been diagnosed yes, but i don't quite know who to seek for help(If it is available at any point). Any suggestion?

Well, it depends a lot on where you live. In the UK the starting point is often your GP, who can refer you for CBT or whatever. But also google to see what's available in your local area in the way of support groups, social groups, autism groups, etc. Does your school have a counsellor or would your parents pay for you to see a counsellor? Do you have a doctor?

Basically life is hard enough for 'normal' people, let alone those with autism. I was a depressive mess when I left school. I wish I had better some tips for helping you, but in truth I don't have any magic advice. I think one thing I would recommend is leave off worrying about females until you've got your school and social life sorted out - if you really are annoying (and it's not just people trying to bully or shame you), then work on being less annoying in company.

Anyway, so yeah. From your star system it seems like school and Asperger's are the two things bothering you the most at the moment, so I would try to work on those first of all, particularly school - don't tackle everything that's wrong in your life all at once!
Posted 3/5/2017 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
I spent time searching for support groups in my area, but to my misfortune, there happens to not be any for my condition. It seems as time goes on, any interests I had disappear. I cant even recall what I am really interested in, besides venting ig. I also focus to much on school and kinda want an outlet from that. Usually home would be the solution, but when I desire school more than home, you know thats a problem. Im just stuck waiting at the moment for some sort of change......
Posted 3/5/2017 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
Do you read books on your condition? That may help some. Venting is good too. But you also need to do things to take your mind off of your condition. School is awesome. Learn as much as you can. It helps you as you get older.

Hang in there. Try to take things one day at a time and stay in the moment.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/6/2017 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
I've read "The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night" which to me is an incorrect interpretation of the Asperger autism, but it was an interesting read nonetheless. As for school, I enjoy being there as it forces me to occupy myself, yet I dont enjoy the terrible/forced social interactions.
Posted 3/6/2017 4:10 AM (GMT 0)
well done for being in school, regardless of difficulties. keep strong.
Posted 4/2/2017 1:43 AM (GMT 0)
I had figured that the best way to understand my impact is to create a relationship web. It would help illustrate what would happen if I were to leave. I pondered what would be the most honest scenario that would take place, and maybe a bit bias, but i felt that I would leave no impact. I felt as if I would be doing a favor rather than causing a nuisance.
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