Mom

Mom fell again yesterday and has become more confused. The hospice nurse and the social worker suggested a hospital bed, oxygen, and keeping her comfortable. Not much else we can do at the moment--and we have filed the dnr with the hospital. Actually, Mom filed that before the alzheimer's got bad.

Growing old is not for sissies.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Do you also know about the Alzheimer's forum on this website?

Thanks, friends. This is a process we all move through with family, and in turn will go through it ourselves,

Mom fell again yesterday and now is confined to bed on oxygen. The hospice nurse thinks she had a mini-stroke Monday, before the first fall. She is also fitted with a catheter.

Comfort and ease.

Thanks for the suggestion, Tim. We were lucky in that Mom is a generally happy person. She doesn't get upset when she is confused or forgets something. When she meets someone she knew before, she smiles at them, pat them in the hand, and says, "I'm sorry-I have forgotten your name." She is just gracious about it. Her memory has declined for a decade now.

I'm sorry about your mum having alzheimer's, Myself. But holy crap, I'm impressed by how well she's dealing with it. All I usually hear about are personality changes that are invariably for the worse, so it's nice that your mum has managed to retain her good-naturedness.

My dad is 82 now and I dread, dread, dread the thought of him getting alzheimer's. He has little enough impulse control as it is, he goes from calm to screaming in 0-2 seconds. Pure misery for anyone who is in his company at the time.

Best of luck to you and your mum anyway.

You're incredibly strong, Myself. The hardest thing I ever dealt with in my life was watching my mom's health decline (hers was due to cancer). It is not easy to take care of yourself along with someone you love during something so trying. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Not a good day today. Doctor appointment was as expected--we need to move her to a nursing facility. She needs 24 hour care. The professional type--not loving family type.

Big mess this AM, and I finally have it mostly cleaned up.The following is not for easily grossed out readers.

I was teaching an English class online-and the bed alarm went off. Mom had gotten up--which she cannot and should not do--hooked to oxygen and catheter. She had/was having a bowel movement, and had struggled out of bed, lurching to the bathroom down the hall, dragging hoses after her as well as dripping from the other end. I helped her there, and told her to stay put. I tried to finish my class, for this group does not look kindly on issues of any sort.

Afterwards--I got her back to bed. Mom is a big woman, and has little strength, so I got the worst cleaned up but couldn't get her night dress off or do anything about the sheets, and it was clear further clean up was impossible. Called hospice and an aide came out to help me with the complete clean-up. Sheets, nightgown, tubes, floor, everywhere. It took about an hour. Then I had to bleach everything. She gratefully napped,because that had been too much. Luckily, the washer has a soak, rinse,and extra heavy duty function.

The clean-up doesn't bother me--my family is practical that way. It just becomes very clear we are not equipped for this level of care. And I hate the shame and fear that must be present for Mom.

Be well,all.

God bless you- your mother is lucky to have you and the fact that you are able to give this level of care with comfort is amazing to me because I am not cut out for that. I have an elderly mother and I often lay awake at night imagining being in your position and feeling guilty for knowing I would not be able to do it.
Wishing you peace in your decision to accept the fact that she needs professional care and wishing her peace in accepting the change.

Mom was up and alert yesterday. She watched a movie and church service being streamed. She also has an infection from the catheter.

Today, she is lethargic--she has not woken up enough to take her pills, much less eat. My family is very food-motivated. I will try again soon to wake her up.

We hope to have her placed this week.

Hi Myself. I'm sending lots of healing thoughts and (((((((hugs)))))))) to you, your mom and your family. You have been through so much and I'm sorry that this stage has been reached for your mom. You are doing the right thing for her, despite you wishing you could handle it on your own. Hopefully this way the time you share with her will be of better quality. Cass

Sorry to hear about you mom......
Hope she will recover soon.

Update--

Still trying to find a place. Mom is up and down--some days confused but alert, other days she just sleeps heavily. Half of the time, she thinks I am either her mother or my niece. Today is a sleeping day. She woke up briefly when the aide was here for her bath. I was unable to get her to eat lunch, so she drank an Ensure.

So all normal,no change.

Myself,

No shame or guilt.

Today, we do not have multi-generations living in one home, thus not enough people/help to care for elderly, especially in your Moms condition.

I worked in an Alz. facility for years, as a business office manager. Got to know the residents and the families. I would like to share what I learned it may help you, NCOT or someone else.

Alz. in most cases exacerbates the personality of the individual.

Play into the persons reality, do not try and explain what they say is not real. Makes them more combative.

If they are dangerous, they have to be placed in a nursing facility that knows how to deal with aggressive behavior. For their safety and yours.

If a family member has to be placed in a facility, make sure they have a good Alz. unit, VISIT the unit unannounced close to a meal time, dinner is a good choice. This allows you to see the reality. If you are satisfied with this, go back for a full tour and meeting.

If they refuse to let you at least see the dinner room, DO NOT USE THIS FACILITY.

Place your loved one, with in 20min or less from where you life it at all possible. Or convienent to your work place. This will help take the guilt out of visiting. You do not have to visit every day!

When they do not recognize you, but allow you to hold their hand quietly, I believe on some level, they recognize your touch.

I hope this helps.
Peace
Trina

Wow Myself, you sure have your hands full. But you will be so blessed for what you do.

Make sure you get a little time for yourself. When one of the hospice people come can you go out for a walk or a bike ride? Just so you have a little down time. Don't forget about you is what I am trying to say.

I had a bath lady come in for my grandmother (adopted mother). Then a lady would come in and play games or sing to her. She really enjoyed that. I even paid an elderly lady to spend time with her to free me up.

I am glad that there was some money left to help out. That is a blessing in itself.

I hope you have a lovely day. Do you still have time for your garden? How is it doing?

Take care Myself...

Gentle hugs,

Karen...