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Posted 9/8/2017 3:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. I'm very new to this and this is my first post but after spending time reading replies on here I'm hoping people can offer me some advice, and it would just be nice to here people's thoughts on my problems.
I am currently on vacation in Orlando Florida and flying home later today to England after 3 weeks here. For years now I've suffered badly after retuning from a vacation and have fallen into a deep depression. The thought of the holiday itself makes me cry, even though I had the most amazing time with my family and girlfriend. Packing my suitcase today has resulted in my crying away from everyone and just generally struggling with keeping it together. I want to state that I do consider myself extremely lucky to have been on this holiday, and that I also have a very good life back home, which is why I struggle to understand why I fall into such a deep depression. I know that ahead of me are sleepless nights due to crying, the inability to be able to look at photos of the holiday or even talk about. I would really like to be able to come home from a vacation being able to smile about the time I had rather than being an emotional mess for months. Please let me know what you guys think about my situation.
Thank you so much.
Posted 9/8/2017 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
Do you usually 'holiday' in places with abundant sunshine and then go back and have less time in the sun? It could be partly vitamin D changes coupled with jet lag. We're also on a more relaxed schedule when on vacation than when we're doing the daily grind.

Separation anxiety is something that can happen to anyone, not just kids going to school for the first time or with a baby sitter. Have you tried talking with a therapist about how this type of situation makes you feel?
Posted 9/8/2017 6:20 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to The Forum

Have you ever mentioned this to your doctor?

To me this sounds like something that is connected possibly in your past perhaps something traumatic happened coming back home from vacation with your family.

Since you have depression hopefully you were being treated for it. If you don't see a therapist I think maybe this would be advantageous for you.

Even just a few weeks with a therapist can tell you if this would be helpful or not.

I wish you well and keep posting we're here to support

Peace and strength

Trina
Posted 9/8/2017 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
There's something magical about being on holiday. Everything becomes infused with a timeless hue where one day blends into the next, and all of your day to day responsibilities melt away, leaving you feeling light and burden-less. You can float from one adventure to the other and enjoy the state of just 'being'. It's beautiful and restorative, or so the theory goes.

In my case, my recent holiday triggered the worst depression that I've had in years, but this is YOUR thread, not mine. ;-)

When all your responsibilities come back they can be completely overwhelming. It's wonderful when we're allowed to forget all of the stuff that we have to do daily, but forgetting it doesn't make it go away. The stuff is always sitting there, just waiting for us to return, and that can kick our emotional butts in a way that nothing else can. There's always stuff that we want to avoid, and to be able to avoid it for three weeks just to have it thrown back at us when holiday is over is jarring to say the least.

Everyone has something they like to run away from - that's kinda why we go on holiday in the first place. I like to run away from work, perhaps for you it's school, or friends, or frenemies, or neighbors, or just the day-by-bay banality of another year at home. You'll figure it out.

So, in summary, taking the Longview, even if your Holiday feels all Welcome to Paradise eventually you have to stop Having a Blast and bid Good Riddance(Time of Your Life) to your American Idiot friends, go home, be a Basket Case for a week or so, and then Carpe Diem until your next holiday.
Posted 9/9/2017 5:05 AM (GMT 0)
I think most people will feel somewhat depressed after coming home from a long holiday. Personally, I have never traveled for more than 2 weeks. I think the fact that you start crying when packing your bag AND you feel anxiety about the "depression" you will experience when you get home is pretty normal. However, what stands out to me is that your "catastrophic thoughts." You say that you won't be able to look at *pictures* of your wonderful holiday. This suggests to me that this is a ***trigger.*** Since you have an established "pattern" of severe depression after holiday, I highly recommend that you work with a therapist. It could be existential angst. Regardless, a therapist can help you change how your mind talks to you. You don't know yet how you will feel when you get home. You anticipate the worst. A therapist can help you both get to the root of the problem and help you change your thoughts about what you are experiencing. You've lived through the post holiday depression before and you will again.
Posted 9/9/2017 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for replies everyone, I'm home now and trying not to accept the feelings I'm having right now as true reality because I am extremely jet lagged. However I am so scared for what is to come. I do think I'm going to have to speak to someone properly about this, it's sad to know I've got weeks of sadness ahead that I don't seem to be able to do anything about.
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