Having a hard time...

Is going back to stay with friends and family for a few months a possible option? From an earlier post you made, it seems like you are massively struggling with feelings of homesickness, which is understandable - most people don't move far away from their friends and family for that reason.

On a purely physical level, try to take care of yourself by eating regular meals and getting enough sleep (even if you have to use prescription meds for the latter). It won't solve your depression, or your homesickness, or indeed anything else. But sleep deprivation has a fairly profound effect on our ability to think clearly and makes us more susceptible to negative effects. By the same token, try to get out at least once a day just to get a bit of fresh air into your lungs - it does help. Only briefly, but briefly is better than not at all.

Might be time for an appointment with a psychiatrist as well. And a therapist. If you can see regular docs, hopefully you can also see psychiatrists and therapists.

Right, advice over, I'm honestly not sure what else to say, other than I feel deeply for you. I do understand what it's like to be stuck in chronic depression with no apparent way out. It's not always possible to push your way through it by sheer force of will - in fact, I suspect anyone who can do that only had mild or transient depression to begin with. Perhaps just try accepting living with the depression for now and seeing if any ideas, or hope, comes to you from giving up the fruitless struggle? I honestly don't know.

I totally agree with NCT and Karen.

I would encourage you to also have a sleep study done if you can. People can have sleep issues and not even know it. Sleep deprivation can cause a lot of the same problems as Fibro etc.

I truly know what you're feeling. I have/am going through all that you are as far as SX. I do understand, truly and sometimes it's nice just to unload.

I can certainly relate to how you're feeling. Are usually post on the anxiety/panic forum but I know that my depression has been getting worse in recent months. One of the reasons is because my 27-year-old son who lives with me until he was 26 but has now moved to Colorado to start a new job and I'm feeling very alone and scared. Couple of the other reasons are that I lost my part-time job, I have macular degeneration in my eyesight seems to get worse every day and I'm terrified when I go for these tests they're going to find something terminal. I have always worried about my health but ironically have been healthy most of my life. My stomach issues have escalated and maybe it's just gallbladder or something but to me it must be : Cancer… I always think the worst. I'm even waking up in the middle of the night with terrible anxiety symptoms but other times I just feel so depressed that I can barely function something serious like colon cancer… I always think the worst I'm going into the therapist next week to see if I can get some meds for anxiety and depression but frankly I hate having to take them… Feel like I should be able to conquer this myself but it's really not working. I will say that it's always good to com onto this forum do you feel like you're not alone. It seems to me that depression and anxiety are worse than any physical problem you can have and I'm sure you feel the same way . So keep posting here and I hope you can find some relief soon