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Posted 10/12/2018 10:55 PM (GMT 0)
Nice new format.

Week four. Moderator had complete control finally made possible by everyone being mostly quiet and attentive.
We were put in groups of two people and discussed our "support people" In other words the ones that understood and helped us on a daily basis.

Among those helping were our significant mates, our Doctors, pharmacists, and in most cases our dogs, or cats.
Everyone made reference how our animals can help. They listen, they don't interfere, they are not judgemental, and they ask little in return.

We decided that there are many who don't understand Depression and probably never will. Who knows why ?
Posted 10/13/2018 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cloudy... It is a nice format.

I am glad your group is going well. Sounds like you are getting a lot out of it.

There are so many people that don't understand depression. I see it every day. I guess the best we can do is find support from those who do understand. And go on about our daily routines. For those who have routines. I certainly do.

How is your weather? Very cold and wet here. I want sunshine. This morning it snowed.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/14/2018 4:47 AM (GMT 0)
Weather here is cold tonight. Had to bring some plants in for fear of frost.

today was a wall to wall sports day for me. Football, baseball, and hockey. A real marathon of watching.
I must say that when you are a sports fan, it can sure help with depression. Taking one's mind off seen and unseen problems is a path to a break in thoughts of the disease.

I am finding reading to be helpful as well.
Posted 10/14/2018 10:01 AM (GMT 0)
I agree about the sports and reading. It is nice to have something else to think about. I been watching baseball playoffs. I enjoy that. And an occasional football game.

Very cold here. Sometimes October is nice, not this year. I hope to get some sunny and warm days yet.

Have a good one Cloudy...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/15/2018 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cloudy,

Welcome to the forum!

That is the thing with support groups. The moderators/facilitators are the same as the members. They have their stuff too. Bad days good days.

If they are having a bad day, it is all they can do to stay present, let alone see that someone is in stress. Also, when a member is new, they are in stress, anxiety this is normal and most groups, let them work it out themselves. The thought behind this is, besides the welcomes, the person needs to find the strength themselves to attend.

I was a facilitator for 3 years, then I was working on some bad stuff from my past and I stepped down.

You sound like you would make a good mod/facilitator.

Peace
Trina
Posted 10/17/2018 4:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Trina

I am enjoying the interaction among participants in the Depression group. This Thursday it will be the fifth week of the ten week gathering of the group exercise. You are right about the personal problems that our moderator had, until we gave her some positive encouragement. The individuals in the group tend to concentrate on their own state of health which is understandable. It is interesting to watch people relax more and take part in our helping each other.

In general, it is a rewarding two hours a week which is bearing fruit.

By your post you seem to have much experience. We all benefit from your past involvement on this site.
You do fine work. I myself would make a poor moderator, as my brain is not up to the task.

My advancing age precludes me from extra curricular activities. I would mess up a one man parade in the desert.

Cloudy (Ian)

"Everybody Hurts, sometimes"
Posted 10/17/2018 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
Ian,

I am happy to read that the support group is going so well. I hope that it continues. Sounds like it can be a good experience.

Have a wonderful day...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/20/2018 5:18 AM (GMT 0)
Week 5 has been completed. five to go.

People are really opening up and enjoying this experience. Not so many tears and a real effort to take part in the discussions revolving around the topics put forward by our moderator. there has been two drop outs due to personal and logistical reasons.

This last meeting was designed to put a light on deep feelings and the ways to combat the reasons for them. It is uncanny to see the very close points of sadness we all feel and how common they are. It is almost a textbook experience of depression. We are all understanding our thoughts and learning ways to change things for the better

Should anyone get the chance to join a group like this I would highly recommend it.
Posted 10/20/2018 8:46 AM (GMT 0)
I'm really happy for you Ian. I am glad that the group is going so well. And I want to thank you for sharing.

It has made me less afraid to join a group. Just reading your experiences.

Keep hanging in there and keep sharing.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/20/2018 4:52 PM (GMT 0)
I should note that we are given written material as well as Web Sites to refer to for added knowledge. This material is important and it is something we can keep and reread after the course is completed.

I should also mention that we are on a first name basis as we have not been formally introduced.

This was helpful the first few days as it was less important. I suppose that if we want to, we can or could make friendships as we progress.
Posted 10/20/2018 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
I have made friends just on this forum. Even though I have never met them in person. I have skyped with a couple of them though.

I am glad you have written material to re-read at a later time if you wish. That is awesome. And you could very well make friendships with others in the group. Even just go out for a cup of coffee or something.

It sounds like you are getting a lot out of group. That is great!!! I feel less afraid just reading your posts.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/21/2018 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
Ian,

Thank you for your kind words!
I just say what works for me.

Don't count yourself out as a MOD, I went to 3 6-10weeks group. The I found a casual every weeks group run by volunteers, no professionals. By this time I was ready.

I have neuro issues, and I got by fine. If you ever consider it, I feel you would be great.
You have strength and wisdom in your posts.

Peace
Trina
Posted 10/21/2018 10:43 PM (GMT 0)

cloudy said...
HiFolks.

It has been a few years since I put anything forward on the Depression site, but I have had Depression during all this time.

My depression comes and goes with no real regularity. Right now I am having one of my episodes. My psychiatrist has me going on a 10 week (2hours per wk) therapy group effort. There are 2 men and 8 women taking part. Ages from 81 down to 21. I am 77.

Have done the first week which consisted of each one of us telling our life stories. I have learned that my problems are far less serious than most others. We have vowed to help each other, and I am looking for a positive experience. I am getting the feeling that my input will be considerable as I like to talk. I must be attentive to everyone and become a good listener.

I would have the same problem, being attentive to everyone else and being a good listener. I tend to be an impatient person, and while I can easily be empathetic with the struggles of someone else, I'm afraid my impatience would come through. It is eye opening, though, isn't it, that perspective you gain when getting out amongst other people and discovering that many people are at least as sad as you are, and some are much worse, with good reason. I often feel like my sadness is something that doesn't make sense and wonder if I am MAKING myself sad for a reason. Many people have so much more to deal with than I do. Keep us posted on how this group therapy works out for you, please.

Denise
Posted 10/22/2018 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
Denise

It appears we have much in common. You have outlined, with some precision, my shared attitude that much of my depression (sadness) comes from some unknown regions of my crowded and muddled mind. I have been giving much thought to my parents. Were one or both of them subject to Depression?

I thought back to what I remembered as the periods in their lives that would produce traumatic experiences and I have come to realize that there were family problems. ( Lack of sufficient money to raise a family, social and other
problems brought about by marriage ) These facts were overcome by time and more family prosperity, but none the less I think the damage had already been done. Particularly in my father's case.

As a young adult, thinking that I knew much more than proved to be the case, I never got to have heart to heart discussions with him. He passed away when I was 24.

As I deal with my personal depression, I have been enlightened to some degree with this group effort. Finding it therapeutic
Posted 10/22/2018 11:26 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry that you missed the opportunity for a heart-to-heart with your father. That's enough to make anyone sad for lost opportunities, doesn't it. I often wonder how my life might have been much different if my father had not died at age 33, when I was six. He called me his "Little Miss America," which became "Missy," which morphed into "Mitzi" which morphed into simply Mitz. What I wouldn't give to have him take me into his arms and feel and believe me worthy of that unconditional acceptance and love. What you wouldn't give to sit down and have the heart to heart with your father. The longing is killer sometimes, isn't it.

I have no doubt my mother loves me, but I just don't feel like she likes me very much. And that may be valid and it may not be, that belief. In some ways, I feel it's really unfair of me. She and I are about as different as two people can be and yet we are mother and daughter and share some parts of our personalities in common.

I first got depressed when a 5+ year relationship fell apart when I had just turned 30. We spent one last Christmas together with my family in the home we once shared on Christmas Eve, although we slept in different bedrooms. On Christmas morning, my mother, who was visiting from Texas, my ex-boyfriend and I went to mass. And I cried through just about the entire mass until I felt I just had to leave the church. I cried for that little girl that I was 24 years earlier, and I saw her sitting alone and missing her Daddy, and now having another man leave her. I felt great empathy and heartbreak for that little girl, who felt so very alone and sad. I wish I could have one memory of my father. I don't remember him at all. I went to Kindergarten the next day and for show and tell, I said, "My Daddy died last night." I wish I could get a hug that I BELIEVED was unconditional acceptance and love for me. I wish I had not completely given up on love 32 years ago because of the fear that I would not survive another loss. What a waste of a life to let fear control you and convince you to give up.

I don't know what I believe about a Heaven or Hell, any kind of afterlife. I always say 12 years of Catholic education cured me of Catholicism. I am not a religious person. But wouldn't it be so sweet if it were possible that I could get that hug I so desperately needed/need and want and you could have that heart to heart talk with your father.

Post Edited (MitzMN) : 10/22/2018 5:33:04 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/23/2018 3:28 AM (GMT 0)
We all have our life stories. I am in my late 70's and I too have suffered periods of my upbringing and later times more dramatic and full of stress that I have overcome. We all would do things and think things out differently if we could turn back the clock.

People who tell you they "would not change a thing" are not being truthful. There are always regrets over lost opportunities, lost loves, lost friends and any number of situations. In my case I have lost close friends for reasons I can't explain. This in particular has happened with what I considered 3 times in my life. In each case these people are still alive although they live in different areas of the country. The fact that they have all had great financial success must be a factor. Monetary wealth seems to cause a breakdown in shared interests and the ability to share experiences. Although I am not poor and struggling, I don't regret being lower on the social scene.

With the group therapy exercise I am presently involved in, the other people who suffer with depression also have very diverse backgrounds and an endless stream of problems, both real and perceived. Lives that have been shattered by deaths, loneliness, suicidal thoughts, and other mental problems.

I don't know your personal present situation. I hope you have someone close. My wife is my savior. She has learned to understand depression and how to react to my occasional outbursts of tears and depressed thoughts. I don't profess to be religious, but I envy those who find all the answers through total dedication to a supreme being.

That's enough rambling on for now.

Everybody hurts sometime.
Posted 10/26/2018 3:29 AM (GMT 0)
Group Therapy Group. Meeting 6 of 10

Today we lost a group member for reasons only she knows. This was unfortunate because I think her needs were greater than most. Oh well, life goes on.

We spent much time talking about sleep deprivation caused by depression. I was the lucky one, as I don't have trouble getting to sleep. Everyone else has trouble sleeping without aid of medication. It would be interesting to know the percentage of depressed people who suffer from insomnia. I am sure that there are stats on the subject.

With the darkness hours increasing, we discussed procuring "Sun Lamps". apparently they help if you have one near you in the dark. My knowledge of these is nil. Will someone please enlighten me?

Another topic we approached is commitment to get back to things we enjoy doing but have lost interest in, or the energy to take part in because of our depression. We have all made promises to get back to doing things we previously did and found to be fun.

All participants agreed we are making progress
Posted 10/26/2018 10:40 AM (GMT 0)
I only know of "light boxes". They help with Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka SAD). I use to have one. I would sit in front of it for about 15 minutes every morning. My light box was square and when you turned it on, it would put out white light.

I am so happy you all are doing well in group. That says a lot. And it sounds like you are an active participant. That is cool.

I hope you have a good day.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/28/2018 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Not feeling great today. Cold and miserable out. May be time to invest in one of those light boxes.
Posted 10/28/2018 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
As little sun as we been having, I would be thinking about that too. Tomorrow maybe sun, not rain. I hope it pokes out some. This weather is so depressing.

I hope your day gets better. I been trying to do stuff inside to get my mind off of the dreariness. It is hard.

Got a roast in the oven. So it smells good in here anyway. Something to think about.

Ian, I really appreciate you posting about group therapy. I find it interesting. Though like I said earlier, I have never done group therapy. I just have a hard time talking about things in front of other people. No confidence for that. Take care and hopefully you will feel better today.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/30/2018 11:56 AM (GMT 0)
Feeling better today. Depression I felt yesterday much less serious.

I have been thinking about asking our leader this week to go around the room and ask each person to speak out again on their personal life situation at present. I don't remember the stories related on the first day we all met.
When your hear all these sad situations, it is easy to get one person confused with another.

Once this is done, we may have changes brought about from the 6 meetings we have had to date. I think people might open up a little more and we can judge each other. I mean that in the most positive way.

What are your thoughts ? ( Anyone ?)
Posted 11/2/2018 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
Gathering 7 of 10 weeks.

This week we were quiet while our leader gave us the " Thought Patterns" we have when we are faced with
situations we see in our day to day lives. For example "Emotional reasoning", jumping to conclusions without knowing what a situation entails. When depressed we think immediately a negative answer to any possibility of a stated fact that involves decision making.

The real way to look at things is to weigh the possible negative or positive answers and come to the right conclusion.
That was just an example of "filtering" our thoughts.

We had a breakdown of one of our people today. The person has a very complicated life, and some emotions became too much to deal with and required an early exit from our meeting. This caused a sad reaction from the rest of us, as we felt unable to help. We thought maybe a hug was in order, but it was rejected.

We still feel we are being helped. There is no chance of us not getting to the 10 week completion. Some are wishing we could make it last longer.
Posted 11/2/2018 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like you are getting a lot out of group therapy. That is so awesome! I feel bad about the person who had to leave. Maybe they will be at a break through point??? Maybe something good will come out of it???

Maybe it can last longer??? You guys could continue to get together in some way. Coffee or something like that.. I am so happy to hear all the good things coming from group for you.

I hope you have a good day...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 11/10/2018 2:02 PM (GMT 0)
Group therapy Week 8 of 10


This week was devoted to Stress and Anxiety. We covered the various types of Stress brought about in our day to day lives. Work, school, marriage, driving, personal problems, etc. We all spoke about particular stressful events in our lives and how Depression entered into these events and made them worse than they normally would.

We agreed that our goal would be to examine each situation with the idea that there may be ways of thinking and analysing events to make they assume the importance they really deserved. Not to give them more negative thought than they deserved. The leader gave us a list relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety and stress.

The friendship of the group continues to grow.
Posted 11/10/2018 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Awesome Ian,

I see your weeks are coming to an end. You have experienced a lot. I am glad they are giving you techniques to reduce anxiety and stress. I do deep breathing and meditation and it helps to relax me. It has come in handy many times. I read self help books too. Thank you for checking in and letting us know how things are going. I hope you continue to post even after the group therapy is over. And I am so glad you are making friends. They could become friends for life. I have made friends here on the forum.

Have a great day! Snow here and continuing. I am not really ready for it mentally. We got stuff ready but I don't want to go outside. I went out and fed a cat that has been hanging around and put suet out for the birds.

Hugs, Karen...
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