Hi folks, I'm back

Thanks for the update. I am so happy you're feeling more positive. I know what you mean about not wanting to count the chicks before they hatch though. I am always up and down quickly, but actually lately, I haven't been as bad as I was a few weeks back either. I wonder if it's something to do with timing. Maybe the change of seasons or something? I was in a major depressive hole. I am surprised I pulled through without getting medication. Are you still planning to go to that group? It's annoying that they can't get you into that sooner.

I am sooooo excited about your dog news. I wonder if you could foster a dog that needs a home for a bit to see how you like it? Often breed rescue groups have fosters, and if you find one that needs a home, you can temporarily foster, & sometimes you have the option of adopting if it's the right match. What kind of dog are you thinking? Small or big? I really love every type of dog. I love cats too, and they are less work, but also often less attached to their owners. Pets are the best companions. Really, i don't think there's any breed you could go wrong with. it's probably more about the amount of space you have, how much energy they have, and how much exercise you want to do with them. Some breeds need a lot of exercise or they are bouncing off the walls.

Miranda,

I think painting is a great idea. I paint too but haven't in years. I have an unfinished painting setting out. I just can't seem to work on it. I hope you can work on yours. You have to be in that mood you know. I wish you the best.

I am a large dog person. I am getting a German Shepherd pup in the spring. I can hardly wait. Little dogs are cool though. Easier to take places. I am so excited for you. Keep us posted on how things go.

NSSG,

I am glad you feel better now. This really is a remarkable time of the year. With the holidays coming and all. Though it has been cold here for awhile. Snow and all that. I really am already sick of it. But taking it one day at a time and making the most out of each day the best that I can. Sometimes it is hard. Hubby and I have both been sick with colds. Plus my oven croaked. Just in time for Thanksgiving. Just my luck. We'll see what we can do though. We have another stove stashed, we can try to use that. I don't know... My broiler works, just not the oven. Crap...

Andrina,

I am glad to hear that your surgery went well. Having a service dog would be cool I think. Or teach one to do stuff for you. .Some dogs learn real easy and just want to please you. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

I hope you all are having a good day. Forum was down this morning so I am slow to reply.

Hugs...

We do have another stove out in the greenhouse that we may be able to use. We have a 20lb tank of propane that we can hook up and see if it works. We may have to cook it out there, the turkey that is. It would be nice to get a new one though. If I did it would have to go on credit for the time being. I really can't afford the debt so I am hoping that this other stove would work. We can bring it in later. Just kind of stinks because I was going to bake some chicken breasts tonight. Oh well, maybe I can fry them in oil or something. Or slow cooker might work, though it is getting a little late for that. Problem solving isn't my strong point especially when I keep forgetting the oven isn't working. Pizza sounds better by the minute. Ha!!! We do have a few coming for Thanksgiving. John's son and four grandkids. I was hoping to bake beans tomorrow. They can go in the slow cooker though instead. They will be just as good. We will improvise.

I hope that you continue to feel well and that today is a good day for you.

Hugs, Karen...

Hi folks :p

Grr, another evening wasted on Twitter - need to start curbing my use of that. It's fine for an hour or so but any more than that and it starts to feel like a massive waste of time. Plus too many stupid arguments kill too many of your brain cells.

@nssg - Glad you are feeling better too. Winter depresses a lot of people but I actually like the long nights and the cold days. Doesn't depress me at all. If anything I think summer depresses me more, because there is the assumption that everyone likes the sunshine and light evenings. But I don't. It's not like I do anything with the tediously lengthy light evenings - I don't even have a garden I can sit in. I guess as a natural night owl I just like the night time - always have done.

I don't think I would foster a dog to be honest. I know fostering is sometimes necessary, but I'm not really keen on the idea - I think dogs (and children) should be given permanent homes. At any rate, I will be definitely getting a dog on the smaller side. Been thinking about a Jack Russell terrier: I saw the two most gorgeous wire-haired Jack Russells in a cafe a couple of weeks ago (surprised they were allowed in there). I really wanted to take them home with me >_>.

But yeah, I only have a 1 bedroom flat. Too small for a large dog, I reckon. As for cats, I would love to have a cat as well, but there are no gardens for it to roam around here. People have mentioned indoor cats to me, but that's not really a thing in the UK - cats usually are let out.

@Andrina - No just a regular dog. I had to google service dogs, as I wasn't sure what they were. Seems more of a US thing. I do quite like the idea of a dog specifically trained to calm me down, but hopefully the presence of a dog would be enough to stop me from going into a meltdown in the first place.

I'm glad your surgery went well. Having a stoma is a steep learning curve imo. Took me a year to really get the hang of mine (and about the same length of time for my digestive tract to fully optimise itself to its new layout). Some people adapt really quickly, but for most people it's a rather lengthy procedure of finding the best setup, learning how to avoid leaks, and so on.

My dad went to the American embassy in London and applied for a new passport. Apparently it was really easy and he had no trouble at all. He should be getting it through the post any day now actually. My mum has also applied to renew her (English) passport. So I'm on course for becoming an Irish citizen ;p

@Karen - Motivation is the most elusive thing in the world for me. If I can get into it, then I'm usually okay after that. But it's the getting into it that is the almost impossible bit: a new book, a jigsaw puzzle, etc. However, I'm going to try and start the painting whilst I'm on a relative upswing. If I wait too long and I crash again, I will never do it. Should be going to an art shop with my mum tomorrow...

I hope you can manage to get back to your unfinished painting one day. I wonder if an art group could motivate you? I started my painting in the psych's ward activity room. It was easier to get down to it surrounded by other people doing arty things: I doubt on my own I would have done it.

Sorry about the oven. It sucks when things break unexpectedly - particularly when you can't afford to replace them. Hopefully you can get the stove working.

@iPoop - Puppies are absurdly cute, but high maintenance like you said. Plus they need training. I think I can do that, but it's still another thing to consider.

I think I will probably do what you suggest and visit a couple of local dog shelters. Whilst I mentioned Jack Russell terriers earlier, I'm not welded to certain breeds - a cross breed would be fine.

Anyway thanks a lot. Sorry I didn't answer in a bit more detail, but the quetiapine is kicking in and I need to go bed now... >.>

Certainly take your time, visit a number of times and pick yourself out a buddy who is a good fit. Something about petting a dog is just relaxing and melted my stress away if I was having a bad day. I bet it'll help you, as I've never seen a frown on someone playing/petting a dog. Always cheers me up to get home and see a wagging tail and happy pupper there who's excited to see you.

A while back, I had a coworker who brought her Jack Russel to work with her daily. He had a small dog bed by her desk, and he was really mellow and quiet. Whenever I walked anywhere near her desk, I always made an excuse to stop by and play with her Russel. He was an older dog.

about 7-years back I had a Schnauzer, he was about 40-ish pounds and between the mini and larger ones. Miss him. Only have a parrot now, but a dog might be in our future in the next 5-10 years.

Good news on the passport progress, at least that's moving in the right direction and will give you some peace-of-mind and access to the EU and it's healthcare.

Post Edited (iPoop) : 11/21/2018 7:35:55 AM (GMT-7)

Congrats Karen :p May you have many years with Luna (nice name btw).

iPoop - My aunt is bringing me supplies of Maxidex and levothyroxine from Spain >_>. As of now, the catastrophic no deal exit is looking less likely than it was a few weeks ago. But May's deal is skating on thin ice and parliament is just as likely to vote it down as pass it. (For the record it's a terrible, awful deal which pleases nobody, remainers or leavers alike.) I'll probably end up with Maxidex and Levothyroxine coming out of my ears: but better that than running out! Unfortunately I can do nothing about my Crohn's meds - those are in the lap of the Brexit gods.

Anyway, I've had a bit of a relapse. The bad thoughts returned last night, when I couldn't sleep. This isn't a good time of the year. It's the anniversary of my brother's death; spent most of last December in a psych ward. Just don't have any happy memories to accompany me at all.

Urgh, the depression is back.

I've lost everything.

I don't know if this goes against the rules, but once my mum dies I will have lost the last reason I have left for living. I'll be all on my own; the thought of that for the next 40 odd years is just unbearable.

I'm haunted by fear that I'm doomed to follow in my brother's footsteps. I'm a loser. An absolute, utter, total failure and loser at life.

Sorry. I had a bad night's sleep and it's been a bad day today. Saw my care coordinator today but that didn't help. All it did was remind me that nothing has worked. Really depressing in fact. To be honest, I wish she would just stop trying to find things I could do. Because it just highlights how there's really nothing out there for me. She tried to find research studies I could join. I spoke to a young, enthusiastic chap a few weeks ago and there was basically nothing available.

I am hoping the Complex Needs group helps. Because I can't deal with normal groups of people. Even the autism social group, which meets up once a month, is too much for me - too many people, too cliquey, too noisey. It seems almost impossible to just find quiet, calm people to hang out with.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 11/23/2018 1:17:26 PM (GMT-7)

getting by said...
I got a surprise of a puppy today. I wasn't expecting one until spring. She is a black German Shepherd and I named her Luna.

I am so happy right now!!!

Hugs, Karen...

Soo excited for you! I know you were with Jasmine 24/7!! You are going to be the best mom to Luna.

Thank you NSSG, Hubby went out today and got her puppy chow, nylabones, booties and a sweater. I took her outside earlier because it wasn't cold as it was yesterday and the day before. She loved it this time. She pottied on a newspaper, hubby got puppy pads for me. Hopefully I will get her potty trained to go outside when it isn't real cold. It is a challenge at this time of the year. We had a 10 degree high the other day. 45 today. Nice tomorrow but rain.

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. Mine was nice.

Hugs, Karen...

You can do anything you set your mind to. You can start again at 40, it is not old at all. I am 60 and still learn new things. I have total confidence in you Miranda.

Hugs, Karen...

I'm so tired of this.

Tired of the unequal fight.

It all stated a year ago with my breakdown where I ended up in a psychiatric ward for 3 weeks.

Everything since then has been pure, utter, undiluted hell.

NiceCupOfTea said...
I'm so tired of this.

Tired of the unequal fight.

It all stated a year ago with my breakdown where I ended up in a psychiatric ward for 3 weeks.

Everything since then has been pure, utter, undiluted hell.

The way things have been past couple of years ,I can relate to you NCT.

The only thing keeping me sane is I know have no health insurance or would end up in hospital for sure for my anxiety and depression is gripping me worse .
I am currently unemployed and feel like a burden for myself and parents.
I am not able to sleep or function or eat.
I am trying to get insurance this year lets see if it works out.

I try everyday to make something productive but can't.
Good thing is I got a gift coupon from my brother for massage this week so will relax.

You can write here anytime ,I can relate to you a lot.