There is no legitimate reason for people to love or like me.

Hello, I'm gonna keep this short: I'm an uninteresting loser who no one should love.

There is literally no justifiable reason for anyone to like me. I'm fat, stupid (or at least painfully mediocre), unfunny and lazy. I have nearly zero friends (only one who's relationship is completely falling with me as we speak) and I feel my family only ever speaks to me because they have to, as they're my family.

I have zero talents and hobbies. Actually zero. When I'm not doing something I need to do, like work, I just sit down and either browse the web looking at people infinitely better than me or just cry wishing I wasn't so useless.

I have ZERO redeeming qualities, everything is just neutral/mediocre or terrible. At this moment, I want to go to sleep and just not wake up. I'm not brave enough to actually kill myself, but I just wish my consciousness drifted away as I slept.

So, that's that, I guess. Attempt to make me feel better, if you want, but this is just sorta for me to vent out my uselessness.

No one is born hating themselves, so at some point you must have learnt to hate yourself. I had learnt it by age 5 - at a family gathering I apparently walked around solemnly telling members of my family that "everyone hated me". It was a phrase I had picked up from Charlie Brown, but I know my 5 year old self meant every word.

What did your family do to you (or didn't do) to make you hate yourself? What about school? Were you bullied?

You don't have to answer the questions here. I'm just trying to get you to think about where the self-loathing might have originated. Even if you do know, you'll still hate yourself. But perhaps you can at least begin to see it's not *all* located inside you, even though it feels like it is.

It sounds like you have very high standards which you can't meet. Welcome to my world. It sucks. I doubt you are willing or able to lower your expectations, but perhaps you could realise that a) you are not as useless at everything as you think you are and b) other people aren't as amazing as you think they are.

If you can access one, I'd recommend a therapist. I do know it's expensive and not everyone can afford one, but if you can I think it could help you a lot. An antidepressant might help with the rumination, but in my experience ADs only suppress thoughts, they don't actually change them. That's fine as long as the AD continues working, but if it doesn't then the negative thoughts will start to come back - as happened with me. However, perhaps even a temporary break will give you the impetus you need to be able to break out of your rut and try something new.

I would like to say more but it's late and I need to get to bed.

I am fat...bald and a turtle. have unique talents. Hey...what a person looks like means zero to me. The fact you posted shows that you do care about yourself...even if unconsciously at first.

Keep posting. HT.🐢

Hello. My daughter would have probably described herself the same as you did a few years ago. Turned out, there was a reason...a medical reason...for it all. Cushing's Disease. So, I must ask you...have you been to a doctor to discover if there is a medical reason for being overweight and considered lazy? I doubt there is 'nothing' that you are good at. It's likely you may have not found it yet, or perhaps the computer IS the thing you're good at. Lord knows, if it weren't for my grandsons knowledge of all things internet, I would not be here at all! P.S. we tend to love each other here...even in the depths of our down times...because we 'get it'.

This thread tells me which read in some article in a magazine...we are so visually overwhelmed because of internet and tv ,we compare ourselves to others and beat the crap out of our self worth.

Its very true --thats the true reason I try to stay away from online .

AD can make a huge difference in mood ,it works for me at least .

Pets make very positive difference in life.

I love this thread.

Yes, please check in. I can identify somewhat with the OP, as well as with not wanting or having the strength to post anything. Sometimes it's nearly impossible to do much at all like this, but I think it helps greatly to reach out...