HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Advice for friend

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/19/2019 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all, I need some advice. My friend has severe depression that did not respond well to medication and has not left home in over a year. I am basically the only one she speaks to, she has no family and is living off dwindling savings. I’m not sure how to help her. I’ve assisted with getting groceries occasionally but she’s rejected all other help. I’m not sure what else I do without making things worse. I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression, working on keeping myself afloat and understand to the best of my abilities how hard it must be. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Posted 3/19/2019 9:28 PM (GMT 0)
I would say, on a nice sunny day try to get them to go for a walk outside with you. It doesnt need to be a long walk, but you'd be surprised what a little bit of fresh air can do. Depression and Mental Ilness are viscous and often times there is no easy out. The best we can do is find something to live for, something that keeps us getting up in the morning, even if it is just a small and simple thing. I would encourage you to talk to them and help them find something worth living for, a reason to break from the cycle
Posted 3/20/2019 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much, Constant. Yes I can totally see how difficult it is to deal with mental illness. Just getting out makes a difference from my own experiences. She doesn’t tend to like going outside in general but I will keep up the encouragement for little steps towards getting out.
Posted 3/20/2019 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
If your friend has no family, no other friends and is living off dwindling savings, it sounds like she is in a desperately precarious position. I was in a deep depression for several months last year. Medication didn't work for me either. It lifted eventually, but I am not sure it would have done if I had been living in total isolation - during that time I was still going to my gardening place (though not speaking to anyone there) and my parents' house.

Unfortunately without knowing anything about your friend or her location, I don't know what to suggest. Not sure if she's interested in animals or has the means of keeping a pet, but having a dog forces you to get out. Plus it is company. Are there any clues to be found in your friend's life before the depression struck? Any former interests, hobbies, friends etc? Sorry if all this sounds a bit lame, but it's been a long day for me and I am tired. I just hope you can find something. Even if just one other friend shared the burden of caring about your depressed friend, I think it would help. You shouldn't have to shoulder this all on your own.
Posted 3/20/2019 10:46 AM (GMT 0)
I hope your friend can get some help. I like the suggestion of getting them out for a little fresh air. Walking is real helpful with the way that you are feeling. Even if it is a short walk.

If you can get them to see a therapist it would work wonders I am sure. I hope that things get better for your friend. And don't spread yourself too thin. Do only what you are comfortable with.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/21/2019 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
My suggestions might also come out a bit lame, as my only experience is with myself, but I think it's crucial that you remain there for her. It sounds as though you are the only one she has. Invite her to dinner at some place she likes (or liked) and make some gentle suggestions about talking it out (whatever she's comfortable with). Make this a semi-regular event, perhaps going to other events that she prefers (movies, concerts, bridge games, etc.) Over time, see if she improves and maybe starts seeking out a fuller solution. At least that's one path inspired by my own saga, so maybe it can help others (not that I have fully solved anything myself, but there's at least a bit more hope).
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply