My trigger..

Hi Guys - It's been a little while since I've posted but I have a question for people whose triggers are unavoidable. For me right now my biggest trigger is my Dad and his health. Yes, he has had cirrhosis for years now but as of lately things have been going downhill. Whenever something new pops up with him I immediately digress as far as my anxiety and depression go. This then affects my ability to be a good daughter and be strong for him and that's all I want to be.

What do you guys do when you're trigger in unavoidable? I love my dad so much and will never not be there for him so checking out isn't an option at all.

Hi JRF
I went through similar aging parent /acknowledging that they will not always be with us triggers with first my dad in 2001 and then my mom in 2018.
They are hard to get thru. They wake you up in the middle of the night. All the what ifs? All the guilt you feel -are you doing enough?
I was very stressed out. I listened to a lot of guided mindfulness meditation, leaned on xanax to sleep
If I look back - I did a lot of unnecessary worrying about all kinds of things that never came to pass.
You are doing just fine being a good daughter. If you weren't one you wouldn't be worried about not being good enough.
All we can do is our best.
Wishing you peace-weary

JRF007,

I know what you are going through it hard. Just know you are doing the very best you can. Sometimes just being there is enough.

Maybe some breathing exercises would help... Try in through the nose and out through the mouth. Called smelling the roses and blowing out the candles. It calms us.

It is difficult when we have constant triggers. Try to relax. Take it one moment at a time.

You are a good daughter... Remember that...

Hugs, Karen...

you definitely are young to fathom being without either parent
I thought I'd have a lifetime of time with my 27 year old son
these are the things we'll never understand

try to have hope with your dad- he may very well rebound- praying he will - my mom rebounded many many times

Thank you. I do try to carry hope but it’s so hard when around every corner is something else. He’s currently in the hospital and I am 4 hours away and feeling helpless...

That’s a great idea. Right now they’re talking about possibly discharging him into palletive care tomorrow so I’ll be able to call his cell again after I get home. He lives with my brother and his family so I also find comfort he’ll be where he wants to be.

I really struggle with living 4 hours away and not being here all the time. If/when he goes back in I will definitely be calling and checking in with the nurses station. I love that idea. Thank you!

Ugh. I don't even know where to begin... Last weekend I was visiting my dad in the hospital. Lots of up and downs and on Sunday evening I left to come back home to Pittsburgh. On my way I hit a 300lb black bear and totaled my car... I am okay but I just can't take anymore... when will it stop?

HI JRF

Life does this to us sometimes and it seems never ending, and we don't help because the negative thought loops starts.

'I meditate. Insight Timer is a free app you down load on your phone. so much is on there you just have to browse. However, if you search for gentleness or self-compassion, a few of my fav should come up

There is one on gentleness I use a lot, just used it last night.

Peace and strength
Trina