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I’ve been in denial about my depression

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Depression
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Posted 2/3/2020 8:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

I thought depression was more having suicide thoughts and bursting into tears a lot.
I’ve been unmotivated for years. And not feeling like getting out of bed in the morning is just from my sleep apnea.

I read a Facebook post that said that depression was not having the motivation to do anything. I thought that was just laziness.

I was bullied my mean women at my part time job for over 6 months. It was constant indirect harassment. I left and the one woman stalked me to the other job. She trashed me to all the surrounding businesses. People I didn’t even know were talking about me. She posted something about me on the internet which I don’t even know how to find.

Everyone always says don’t let them get to you, but how? I have no privacy or anonymity because of these women. I walk around stores doing errands and people burst out into laughter and say did you see that facebook post? And proceed to tell them about it.

It’s frustrating because i did nothing to these people and they believe everything they read or hear like it’s gospel.

I have to find another part time or full time job but it feels like this will keep happening to me everywhere i go.

My self esteem is very low right now. I’m not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m too pessimistic for my own good.

Ttyl,
S2bs
Posted 2/4/2020 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
S2BS,

I'm wondering if the police would be able to do something about these women. It sounds like harassment. How old are this women? Did you file a report with your former employer about them?

Do you live in a small town? You might not be able to avoid them if you do. Maybe you can inform your present employer about them as they may be able to take action to make sure your current work place is comfortable environment for you.

I think lack of motivation is a big part of depression. Your lack of motivation probably stems from your current situation. You need a strong support system. Do you go to church or any other religious institution? You might be able to find support there and make some good friends who will be there for you.

I'm not going to tell you 'don't let them get to you' as bullying is very hard to deal with. However, if it's any consolation, all bullies are miserable deep down; they feel better by hurting other people as their very insecure. Think about it...a secure person don't have the time or inclination to spread vicious rumors or lies. A secure person is content just living their lives.

Also, remember this: what goes around, comes around. One day karma will catch up with those women. Try to put on a brave front and don't let them see how much they affect you. By showing you don't care, they'll probably stop because they know they don't have any power to hurt you.

Post Edited (ForeverPositive) : 2/3/2020 8:12:07 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/4/2020 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
I think your depression could be situational due to what is going on. Though I could be wrong. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? They could help you get through this.

As FP said, don't give them a reaction. That is what they want. And yes karma will catch up with them.

I am so sorry for what you have been going though. You need support. I really think therapy could help you get through this and become an even stronger individual. Please think about it. Therapists can be awesome.

Hang in there and keep posting as it helps. We are here to support you the best we can...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 2/6/2020 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Success is the best revenge. First things first...get treatment. Look into filing for temporary disability so you'll at least have an income while you find your equilibrium.

You didn't say what your skillset is, but if you can work from home for a while, that might help with the work situation.

I've had my share of bullies...in the workplace, online, in my community. I had plenty of practice growing up. What others say about me is none of my business. The way I see it today, I've always wanted to be an entertainer...so I guess I should just let them go ahead and show others how small minded they are!

I'm short...4'11"...and the butt of many jokes...and workplace prejudice.
I have freckles and hair that just won't cooperate...I wore braces all through high school. Need I say more there?
I live in a mobile home. So much material there!

The old saying 'Nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel.' was a big help to me. Just do what is in front of you and don't lose your focus. I was 'just a cashier'...but I was the BEST cashier in the store...paid for my mobile home...paid my bills...am now retired and living nicely within my means.

Need friends? You've got a bunch right here!
Posted 2/13/2020 3:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,
first of all I think that your feeling unmotivaded and "depressed" is because of the situation you are going trough.

I think that's not something that you need to cure, you have to escape from this situation.
A good way it can be going to the police and tell about those women (or maybe before this you can go and talk with them, tell them that they are causing you problems, and that you are going to go to the police).

Stalking is something that can nightmare you and it's not a normal thing. This can't go on.
Sometimes stalking would make you close yourself into the house and not go out for anything. But this can surely start other problems, like paranoia, anxiety and panic attacks.
Posted 2/14/2020 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome,Stbsick and Morg

Stbs, here is a link to a great CNN article on work place/adult bullying.
It is much more widespread than you would think

In order fight bullying in the stress fee, psychological way for you benefit, learning all you can about why adults do it, and what can do and when, is like ammo!

Learning to be on the offensive instead pf defensive🎶
Peace
Posted 2/28/2020 9:02 PM (GMT 0)
Bnotafraid,

The link did not come through. Could you try to attach it again.

Thanks,
S2bs
Posted 2/28/2020 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
Forever positive,

It’s not a small town. It’s suburbs outside a major city. Apparently, the adults that work in the retail industry hop from one store to the next over the course of decades sometimes in the same mall.

As mean girl behavior goes, they say and do everything so that the person that they are indirectly harassing hears and sees them. After i reported them, anonymously, they framed it to flip me to be an eavesdropper, saying she listens to peoples conversations.

I learned very quickly that if i accuse someone of something without having concrete evidence, i will be perceived as paranoid. Because the security guards at that mall did not tell me directly about the woman stalking me; i would not be taken seriously unless i have police reports and restraining orders in place.

More people care about not getting involved than the actual harassment that is obviously happening in front of them. At one point, there were two different men that came into the store asking about me. They were pissed and jealous that men wanted to go out with me even though they were exhibiting stalking behavior as well. They just wanted to trash me saying i don’t see how any man would want to go out with her.

S2bs
Posted 2/28/2020 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
I’ve been stalked by 6 men and by the former supervisor which was a women. At different times in my life, ever since i was 19 in college. The hardest part, even though it never came to communication stalking is the loss of security and sense of anonymity that you have in everyday life. I have details of my life spread around everywhere i have gone because some guy likes me. I get ostracized everywhere because of it. I would have casual aquaintences in college that would stop talking to me and avoid me at all costs based on the rumor mill.

The disappointing thing is that the internet has made it easier to find someone’s address even without the addressee’s permission. I have been feeling down because the stuff that was spread about me 8-10 years ago from stalker #4 is resurfacing in my new school because the head administrator of the program i am in was his boss. She is spreading the information as it is current gossip. I was afraid to report it to the administrators back then and the head administrator did nothing at the time when he was admitting that he had me followed in front of other students in his class. She now is using the info from years ago to belittle me for her own self esteem boost.

I’ve been feeling hopeless, because it keeps happening over and over again. I just want to be left alone.

Thanks for reading if u do,
S2bs
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