officially diagnosed...no surprises there, but I'm struggling with this.

Hey Rat,
I totally understand how you feel as I got diagnosed with depression just a couple of days ago. Even thought I was going through a bunch of anxiety disorders for years now, the official diagnose of depression sorta made me shocked. I think "shocked" would be the best word here, as I went into a very harsh anxiety bout after the diagnose. I am not new to anxiety attacks and could cope but after the diagnose it felt like I couldn't cope with anything anymore.

I say probably the name tags are the problem here. But at the same time we need to define and know our problems in order to fix them. By getting professional help and the multitude of things we can do by ourselves to feel better.

Do not focus on these name tags the medical science has to put on you. Do not be scared, welcome them and keep reminding yourself that you have the power to work on them and heal. It's inside of all of us.
Also if I didn't understand it wrong, you've mentioned these are recorded as secondary issues, as a result of your neurological condition?
I am not a doctor of course but a simple logic one can have here is, they will be aiming your primary problem here first, so when those name tags come to your mind and bother you, put them aside. Because your primary issue will be treated first.

update us, be well

Post Edited (Rrakkma) : 5/15/2020 1:16:24 AM (GMT-6)

I remember when I finally reached my goal of trying to get disability for 20 years, and I finally got that classification of "Disabled." I was of two minds. I couldn't hold a job, I needed the money to pay the bills, but I didn't want to be officially classified as "Disabled."

Now sometimes after my name is that classification. I'm thinking to myself, "Am I worthless?" "I can't do anything?" So I wander in a world of am I worthless, do I have value? I've come to believe that I do have shortcomings, but I do have worth. And I give myself more credit for being able to walk across the floor than I use to, for doing things that a lot of people might take for granted.

I'm still me.

I have never received an official diagnosis of depression, so I never had that shock: depression, anxiety, etc. just all got added to my medical records over the years. For example, I go to a particular hospital for Crohn's disease. There's no mental health treatment involved, but sometimes they've still made reference to a depression diagnosis in the letters I receive from them.

Actually I did get one shock. This was a few years ago. The psychiatrist left some notes on the table and I saw a list of diagnoses: Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder (so far, so good), Atypical Autism (no, it's 'Autism Spectrum Disorder') and the last one which really got to me - Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. U wot m8? Nobody had ever told me I had EUPD. (You may know it better as Borderline Personality Disorder, a more common name for it.)

I did bring it up at the next session and the guy (who wasn't the psychiatrist but a junior doctor working for him) said he saw my point and would try to get the diagnosis removed. Whether it ever was or not, I have no idea. To this day, it could still be lurking somewhere in my notes. And who knows what's been added since. I dread to think.

I mentioned it already, but the autism diagnosis was the real shock. That was official: I received it in person with my mum. I'd lived with depression since I was about 13 but the autism I didn't know about until my late 30s. Initially the diagnosis was actually a relief, but that soon wore off as I realised that nothing had changed and I wasn't going to get any extra help for dealing with society.

Here's hoping you soon assimilate your new diagnosis. In my experience, a label is just a label and really does change nothing, except maybe how people perceive you (and you don't have to tell them). It's the actual having the thing which counts.

I appreciate all of the wonderful responses and experiences. You bring up good points and remind me to look at things differently. Thank you. I'll need reminders for sure.

Sadly I have gotten yet another label which has thrown into another tizzy. I was finally absorbing the depression and other fun labels. This week the insurance company sent me a letter stating that due to my neuro issue I was determined to be 'medically frail.'

Frail?! I am a soldier and mother of 6. I have never been described with that word. It is offensive to me. Every cell in my body recoils from that word. So yes....knee jerk reaction and severe emotional response, again. So I know that I have to stop and breath.

It's a procedural designation, just another level of benefits .... why do I let this bother me? This response is not my style. I'm the one that sees how much of a decline in my physical and cognitive abilities there truly is. I am the only one that knows the depth of the sadness and the darkness inside of me. And I admit that I'm messed up, so why does this bother me? All I can come up with is that it's another chunk of me gone...another major rework of who I am. A giant roadsign expressing that I have gotten off of the highway with no return exit. I gotta say, this new road has some serious potholes and sharp turns so far.

The antidepressant is definitely helping with mood stabilization. But I keep receiving these surprises that just throw me for a loop. I just don't want to answer any more mail, or go to any more doctors, I don't want to talk to anybody I don't want to go out into the world. Virus or not this has not been a happy adventure..m.......... I know it won't stop because I hide in the corner so I just march out there and take my licks. I don't know how much strength I have left.....so I appreciate the kind words any gentle reminders.

Blessings to all.

I hear ya rat. To support an application for a spot in a residential supported independent living place me shrink used terminology that would have caused anyone bar me offence.

Was a tad errr but after our last consult i was given the explanation. Sometimes the medical terminology is just bs red tape terminology to justify meeting criteria etc. Yep has zero bedside manner.

Keep 💪. HT

We have progressed. But was in the same bracket for the gov with such a label...bur 20 yrs ago. Now i am termed as having a phycho social disability!

No puns our nor invalidation the lay people in the mental health community understand being mentally unstable and most can assoc with having episodoc experiences, this jazzed up cough validating term...cough people don't get.
HT

👍 HT