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By Letting Go, You Aren't Abandoning A Loved One Who Passed Away

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Posted 7/16/2020 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
When a loved one of yours passes away, you have to go through a grieving process.

However, if you are able to let go and move on with your life someday, you aren't abandoning the person you lost, according to a self help book that I read years ago...a book about grieving written by a shrink.

The author also stated in his book that if you are able to move on from your loss at some point in the future, the fact that you have moved on doesn't mean you don't love the person any less at this point, and doesn't measure how much you loved him or her.

I think the author made good and helpful points.

As for what I think, I don't believe you ever completely get over the loss of a loved one. I think you can mostly get over it over time. But not totally, in my view. I still miss my grandfather a little bit, and he passed away over twenty years ago, although I've mostly let go/moved on.
Posted 7/17/2020 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
Agree. I have lost many...so have they and they have passed, not me. But alas apart is always within me and this is okay. The process is complex, however a natural one. HT
Posted 7/18/2020 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
When you lose a child you do not get over it. The goal is to find out how you can learn to live with it. It's horrible.
Posted 7/18/2020 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
You dont even get over a relatively new friend that dies.
Just learn how to move on
Posted 7/18/2020 3:06 AM (GMT 0)
A deeply personal experience. HT
Posted 7/18/2020 6:16 PM (GMT 0)
I don't think you ever get over the loss of your own child either.
Posted 7/19/2020 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
Yes I would think so, always personal experience.

I am not minimizing anyones experience, I don't have children of, though I think this would be one of the closest binding relationship a human can have.

Peace and comfort to all.
Posted 7/20/2020 10:03 AM (GMT 0)
Definitely, I would agree that letting go is not abandoning. It's more like healing from the loss. Your loved one remains just as loved even after their passing.

This also raises the point that has kept coming up of late, even on this forum: What if you are the only one left? You are in some sense the most burdened with having to heal from all those losses, in addition to being left all alone in the end.

This is of personal relevance in my case, since virtually everyone I know is older than me. As the years pass by, the formerly distant concept of mortality starts to hit home.

Once again, I am reminded of all those stories of people dying in their homes with no one noticing. They are then found years or decades later. This is somehow one of the saddest situations to me. I have no real solutions.
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