New Person--depressed over being depressed

Hey Vallie,

So I've found another SO fan.  That's so neat.  You made me laugh with the Iyanla quote.  Funny, as much as I love her, I say, "Yeah right, BE a great day ?"

I understand what she means, but I need more than 'just me' to help me through a day.

 I haven't been to their website in ages.  Have you ever posted on there ?  I never signed up because I was missing too many shows, though for a good long while there,  I'd watch it come heck or high water.  I'd even shut the ringer off.  Ha.

It's funny, but you actually get attached to some of those ladies.  I felt my heart really went out to Candy, who 'was' a prison guard and felt like she wasn't getting enough attention.  I wonder how she's doing now ... I should go check if there's any updates from her and some others.  Also liked what's her name with the breast cancer.  She lived in my area and so did that other one with the amnesia, Bethany.  Gotta get over there to the Site to see about updates. 

Are there any FMS support groups in your area ?  When I couldn't work anymore in 2002, if I hadn't met those from those 2 support groups, I'd have had nobody here. Absolutely nobody, cuz we were new to this area.

Besides, "well" folks don't understand what we go through, so I felt so thankful to talk to people who I didn't have to "explain a thing to".

Even a CFS/CFIDS group would be good for you, because they usually always have Fibro also.  Most groups are a combo of CFS/FMS.

Yes, CFIDS is CFS ... both names are an insult .... but in every other country it's Myalgic Encephalopathy or Encephalomyelitis (M.E.).   That describes it a little better than our CDC's insulting name for it.  We're working on having that changed.... "someday".

Well, fellow SO fan, it is nice talking to you and SO comes on here in exactly 2 min.s and I think maybe later I'll go see their website again ... it's been so long.

FUN talking with you.  You obviously have more than just one talent and I hope you can see that. 

Maybe you and I should join the SO forum and tell them "what for".   Wouldn't that be fun/funny.

TTYA.   Ann

Hia Vallie,

I'm glad you told me that about SO's Forum.  I don't care for that type of atmosphere.  Have seen too much of that on all sorts of Forums already, when I was searching for a good one.  Pyuck.  We all need compassion in this world.

I had Allison's email address and wanted to meet up with her at one of the fund raisers she had nearby.  I don't know if she's still living in this area though.

I haven't gotten to the SO site yet today, but will check it after.  I would like to check up on any updates on how the old gang is doing.  Cassie was a real sweetie too.

about the Fibro ... I found one Site for FibroSyndrome that I thought was interesting.  I did a Google search on "FMS symptoms" and I think this site was #4 or close therein ... http://www.geocities.com/ifoundthesun/list.html

The reason I did, is because knowing so many people with FMS, depression and the other things you listed in your first post, seem to go along with FMS.   I just thought it would be interesting to search out that Syndrome and maybe, by doing a similar search, you could find a Support group meeting near you, that you could try it, just to see if you'd be interested.

Now, I can handle Rhonda's quote a lot better than the "be" a good day.... Ha.

I'm not tiny at 5'2'',  but I've always aspired to be "fearless" for some reason.  I think, personally, I'm a tom boy at heart and always liked doing carpentry rather than cooking.   Watched too many Mighty Mouse cartoons, growing up or something.  I'm almost 53 ... and back then our cartoons are something I still love.  Ha.  Old cartoons are very medicinal. Ho-ho.

Well, I'm going to visit SO now and let me know if you come up with anything new.

Very nice talking with you Vallie.

Take good care.   Ann

I was there this last Fall - Big Time.  Didn't want anti-depressants.   Wanted to try to dig my way out some how with any other means I could come up with ... but not at first.

At first, I just wanted to coccoon ... but I already told ya all'a that in the first post.

They say there's an antidepressant in chocolate ... I believe it.  I'm eating some now.

Wish you lived closer, we could share some and I could show you some funny emails.

I met a nice lady from England on that other forum I'm on, and she's coming here to see me next week.  Their language differs from ours, and I get such a kick out of it.

They say some things, that here are like cuss words, but to them, they mean something entirely different.  Ha, I told her we'd have to do some language exchanges while she's here, for her own safety. 

I wasn't always talkative.  I went through a shy sort of time.  But that's another long story, but it had everything to do with what you've mentioned of looking inward and not liking who I saw or how my life had turned out. 

Well, I went to SO and didn't learn much about anyone, except that Allison's Site has only the Homepage left up for now.  I guess all those mean things those callous folks said, did it's job.   But just temporarily, I hope.   She's gotta come out ... I've been praying for her and now you also, if you wouldn't mind.   Prayers of others, saved my life literally.  I don't think any book would have helped me.  I had to put it all in Another's Hands.  No human could change my self-image, nor take any guilt I've had, nor heal the hurts of my countless failures or those things done to me. 

You said it yourself, "have sympathy for ALL".  That was the only thing that began the healing process inside me.  I realised what I was doing was equivlent to walking around with a mirror in my face and I couldn't see much else, bumping into everything as I walked along, as long as I held that mirror there.  My mirror looked inward to me.  

I'm glad to have met you here.  It's a safe place.

Take good care of you and let your people-love lift you.

Ann

obs ann said...

....... Allison's Site has only the Homepage left up for now.  ......  But just temporarily, I hope.   She's gotta come out ... I've been praying for her and now you also, if you wouldn't mind.   Prayers of others, saved my life literally.  I don't think any book would have helped me.  I had to put it all in Another's Hands.  No human could change my self-image, nor take any guilt I've had, nor heal the hurts of my countless failures or those things done to me. 

Dear Ann,

You are very kind. I thank you for your prayers.

I hate to say this, but I have become bitter over being spiritual.  I was not always, but I cannot understand all the suffering in the world.  And, with my depression, and old and new ailments, the fact that I cannot function as others can, has made me bitter and skeptical about a higher power.  I believe one exists, but intentions...?.....I dunno. 

I hope I am not offending you in any way, it is just how I feel. I have a great deal of trouble trying to figure out how to help myself.  I feel very scattered, unable to focus, trapped by my physical limitations, and my low, low LOW self-esteem.  I am working on myself, but have been for years, and don't feel I am really gettting anywhere. 

Vent Vent Vent, lol 

You are a sweetheart, and I miss SO.  One more week to go of withdrawl, and then it will be back in my area.

I don't know how to find joy in life.  Does anyone out there have advice on building self-esteem and self-worth? 

Thanks!

Hi hope3,  I am glad to see you over here from the cardio forum.    I just wanted to tell you that I understand how you described.  I was always so active even with my diagnosis of MS and worked everyday.  Now that I have Multiple System Atrophy and autonomic failure, multiple heart problems and depression on top of all of that I find it hard to just get out of bed in the mornings.  That alone will make you depressed.  I have often wondered what did I do to deserve to become like this.  Then I have to stop and remember that my future is not laid out in stone, I may be sick and limited in what I can do but I still make my own choices.  And there is always so much worse. 

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  I am glad that you have come over here to lend your positive outlook to all of us.  Take care.....