DAILY TREAD 206 👋🦄

The only constant in life, is change.
embracing it, well, makes for a better change,
resist, and the change will come like stale bread.
Having many distressing issues with a service provider,
change, yes, i will be.

Change in thinking,
is as important more so than the actual change;
as the change in thinking facilitatesthe actual change.

Muggy, lots of rain last 2 days. Mum is in isolation, well the whole residential centre is, i mean room
isolation, a resident was diagnosed with covid, what type is unknown, think they hace a
couple more days of iso. Spoke with mum earlier.

After much distress i am taking a week of from my supports, and the provider, who are,
well, enough said.

Keep strong everyone, HT.

I hope that the ketamine treatments work for you. I am not real sensitive to it either. I had it for a colonoscopy and it took two doses and I still didn't fall asleep. I watched it on the screen.

I think Jamie is right, small doses. It must build up in your system over time. I just hope you see some improvements in the future, you have been through a lot.

Hugs, Karen...

SENDING POSITIVES PITMOM. HT

Ketamine treatment #2 yesterday morning. This time they gave me 100 mg. I got more of an effect - lots of colors and textures - but no floating and I came out of it early. But my mood has been pretty good all day. Higher dose next time

Ketamine treatment #3 yesterday. I waited until this evening to post to see how my day went. I got 140 mg and got pretty much the same response - lots of bright colors moving around. Their goal is still for me to disassociate or float, so a higher dose next time. I’m not too excited about this as I had a lot of nausea on the ride home and vertigo. I’m afraid it will be worse. They give you nausea meds at the beginning, maybe they can give some for the ride home.

My mood today was better. In places where they do deep water training for scuba divers there are one or two platforms between the bottom and the surface. I feel like I’ve moved up to the first platform from the bottom. I had more motivation today and less rumination. Next treatment is on Saturday. I’ll keep you posted.

Ketamine treatment #4 yesterday - 170 mg, still no disassociation or floating. Next time I'm going to ask why this is supposed to be so important because I may not get there. The colors during the "session" were a little more muted this time and I came out of it feeling a little disappointed. They gave me dramamine in addition to the Zofran so I was not nauseated on the way home but I had a lot more vertigo and slurring of speech. Fortunately this wears off pretty quickly.

My mood is still better. Sundays are usually hard for me as I am alone and it is a let down after a busy week. I try to make some sort of plans but today they got scuttled because I had to pick my son up in Denver and he kept changing the time. I had a very dull day and I was irritated with my son, but I did not go into full melt down as I have in the past. I think the true test will be in the weeks following my treatment. Next one is on Wednesday.

Ketamine treatments #5 and 6, same as #3 and 4. No floating or disassociation. They make kind of a big deal about this at the clinic I went to so for a day or so I was feeling very disappointed and falling into the "I've done something wrong" pit. Today is much better. I know I have no control over how I react to Ketamine, just like any other antidepressant. So this is the end of the induction phase and I can go back for a booster as often as every three weeks. In general I feel better. I still feel like I am at the halfway point but this is better than being at the bottom.

You're right, Trina, I need to plan things for my days off. I could go to the rec center or I could go to a museum. I would not have had to energy to do that a month ago.....

Same here with antidepressants not working (or making it worse via insomnia and the like). Very interested to follow Buena's progress on treatments, especially over the longer term (wondering whether the fast results translate to a permanent solution without having to continue the treatments).

Thanks, Trina. That looks promising (though I'd have to learn why being in the navy is fun!) I'm hoping to learn how ketamine works, especially in terms of differences with other treatments. It's certainly novel that it can work so quickly, perhaps a bit like alcohol (for those able to relax with a couple of drinks). Afterwards, I'll see if I can get a prescription (assuming I need it).

Paul i suggest you make an appointment and ask a doc that knows about.

I am sure if the doctor is worth their salt, they will be happy to meet with you.

I'm really beginning to understand how much food can be addictive. I'm trying to lose weight, but don't want to give up my favorite food aka junk food.

I thought I had self control to just take a small piece of sugary or fatty foods, but sadly this is not the case. I brought a bag of candy, took one piece, and kept on going. I ate the whole bag in a day. 8 think I'm going to have to avoid certain foods as they are triggering.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing ok. Notice the forum has been very slow for a while. I hope it pick up again.

So I went in for my regular mammogram on Wednesday and there was a spot they didn’t like and I wound up getting a biopsy. Turns out it’s cancerous. It’s a very small spot and I should do OK but I have to get it removed and I don’t know what else. I am telling you all this as part of my ketamine report. Mood-wise I am doing well. 2 months ago I would have been spiraling into a black hole. Right now I’m more worried about how much work I might have to miss.

Sorry to hear Kathy.

How wonderfully strong we women can be never ceases to amaze me.
You can do this. And you know you aren't alone.

One receptionist at my mammo place had same
Worked through her radiation treatments. Did take an extra day off

It depends on the person, living environment, job etc..
Take it one step at time.

Write down any questions you think of take to next appointment. They say it helps the anxiety