Help!

I pride myself in giving it everything I've got in trying to help others.

Notice something. I'm not doing anything to help myself during that time. That's my comfort zone.

When it comes to helping myself, I often can't seem to do that.

My latest such problem is, my son, along with his wife, wants to move into the house that I live in.

What he's got in his favor is, he has a good friend who lives next door to me. Uh, oh.

She's in a good position to give me trouble. and she does.

I've figured out what's going on (my son is behind this), and that's a big step. And I now know how to stop it, but I can't seem to do that.

What it's going to take is my writing him an e-mail about this, then marching over to his house, and in a conversation with both he and his wife, giving my son what-for.

That's what I should do, yeah. But things like this I can't seem to do.

I thought about writing a registered letter(s) to both, so both will get the letter(s), explaining the situation and that way the idea will get across without me having to go over there. But then I'm wondering if they will get the message to my next-door neighbor, my son's friend, to tell her to knock if off, or no inheritance for my son. You know, something that will get his attention. Something that will be in it for him.

Then, e-mail him to see if he got the letter and has gotten the word to his friend who lives next door to me, to see if any progress has been made.

If he doesn't heed the registered letter, then I maybe can go over there to his house or go to Step "B" what ever that is.

Any thoughts about this?

That is a thought, just tell him, no, you can't move your family of four into my larger house and me move into your smaller house.

But, he's not asking me if he can live in my house, he's trying to run me off, because my answer to him might be, no, you cannot have my house and I move into yours, as his wife hinted to me about 6-8 months ago. So, he knows what the answer is: no.

So, he's trying to deceptively run me out of my house, but it's not him that's doing the attacking, it's his good friend and my next door neighbor. So how could I blame him for anything?

Which, I'm just now figuring out, he's getting her to do, so I will want to leave my house to get away from her. Very clever.

So, writing this post has helped me to collect my thoughts and see them in writing.

As mentioned in the first post, what I'm thinking of doing is, writing registered letters to both of them that I will consider leaving him out of my inheritance if the attacks continue from my neighbor and his good friend.

That way, I don't actually have to go over there and tell them these things.

Good idea, except I don't have the guts to march over there and tell them that.

That is, I don't have the guts to grab the bull by the horns.

Knowing my limits, I'm thinking of writing them a registered letter(s) and telling them the same thing. That takes me out of direct contact.

Then, rather than thinking of dodging by neighbor, my son's good friend, just wait to see if she still attacks, then consider what to do.

Paul,

I agree with parts of that. The problem is, they have an enemy in my camp, or next door, who can lob attacks over the fence.

And the enemy in my camp is a good friend of my son's.

The problem here is figuring out who is the enemy. The enemy here is not the person next door who is lobbing the attacks over the fence. She is the decoy who is launching the attacks, but who's calling the shots?

Who wants to live in my house? It's my son, it's not her. So he has a motive. He is good friends with her. She lives next door to me. Connect the dots.

I was not seeing this for what it was because I did not have enough information. But with the latest series of attacks from my next-door neighbor, I'm seeing a pattern.

Cut off the head and the body will die. He is the head of the twosome.

There is nothing I can threaten her with, that she will respond to.

Threaten him with no inheritance, with a separate registered letter to his wife, so she will have to sign for it before opening it, and give her the same information.

After that, they don't know what I'm going to do. But it will be in my control, not there's.

I couldn't write the letter yesterday. I thought I had lost my touch. I worried about that. Then I remembered a trick of, if you have something important, do it first thing in the morning before breakfast, so you won't be sleepy from breakfast.

First thing this morning, I headed straight for the computer and wrote the letter. I was so proud of myself. I'm thinking of mailing it this afternoon.

One of the first steps with this was writing out the problem to this forum, which clarified it to me, also, and put me and my problem out there. So, I do thank everyone.

It's good that you took action to handle it. If it doesn't work out as expected, another option might to get a mutual acquaintance to deliver the information. Just have them explain in clear terms. I can understand not wanting to face people, though I usually just compartmentalize any such reaction on my part and try to get things done. You might add that it's nothing personal, just the way you prefer things to be.

TT

My take. Worry about you and your comfort.

You occupy house. 9 10th of the law still.

Be hard pressed to make you move out. If they try, how would they look?

They don't want people to think badly of them.
You may have some high ground here.