death phobia takin over!!!

Hi noone,

I cant really say that I have this "phobia" per say.  However, I have disease called Multiple System Atrophy which doctors say the chances of living past 6 years is very slim.  So, I do often think of my death, but I dont dwell on it as each day to me is precious to live no matter how much pain I may have.  The questions that you are asking there is no way that we as mere mortals can answer.  I am sure that you know this.  I am glad that you have decided to seek another physicians advice.  Please keep us updated.

I am not sure that I can help much with this one. I dont so much worry about the big questions like you, but I do worry ALOT about dying. I was recently DX'd with fibro, and worry way too much about whether I really have some serious disease that will kill me. It too at one point consumed my whole life, I worried from the time I woke up til I went to sleep, then many nights would have nightmares about it. Its scary and consuming. My only advice to you is talk to your doc about it and try everything available to you until you get the help you need. Please hang in there even though I know how hard it is.

Shelly

tnxs shelly it is all consuming as you say and so hard to find the right doc/phycoligist but as ive said ive started to go down that path as i cant do it on meds alone!!!!

  I often think about death and the bigger questions of life.  I used to constantly think about it and talk to others about it and other people seemed disinterested.  I did not understand how they could not care as much about this subject as I did.  To me this was the only important subject there is.  Why are we here?  What happens after we die?  These are important questions.

  I try and think more and more about daily things and what I can do to improve my life.  I have read many books in the search for the answer.  I have read philosophy, christianity, buddhism, and many others.  I wonder why do I think about this subject so often. 

  My father is elderly now and has no health problems.  When I was a child and now I worry alot about him dieing.  I do not know how I am going to deal with it when he does.

  I think most people are so busy with thier day to day life that they don't think of these things.  Or people rely on thier faith whatever it may be to answer thier questions and that frees them to go about thier daily affairs.

  I don't think that anyone knows for sure and that the question is simple but the answer is very very complicated.  I do not know the answer.  I do not know if anyone does.  How many people completely understand quantum physics?  This subject is exponentially more complicated than quantum physics, wouldn't you say?  I think that people have pieces of the puzzle but that most do not fully understand the piece they have.

  Yes I have the same phobia you do.  Tell me more of how you feel if you think it will help you.  Get envolved in your religion or looking for a religion for you if you think this will help.  Read on the subject and read inspirational things.

  I hope I have helped you some.  Good Luck in getting help.  Have a great day.

 

This is such a grim, scary subject yet by reading it I see I am not alone with these dark thoughts. When my Parkinson's is locking me up or worse yet when it causes my right side to spasm for anywhere from 1-2 1//2 hours I want to die. It's becoming unbearable after 14 yrs. Plus I have Kartagener's syndrome and I'm a breast cancer survivor. I had the right one removed just over 8 years ago and they found cancer in three of the eleven lymp nodes that they removed but I always feel that they got it all and I am rid of it. However this darn Parkinson's thing is really getting to me.
I was talking to my family doctor on Fri. and she said to me, "you wouldn't do it, would you?" and I told her no I was too chicken........plus I still retain enough of my RC upbringing to not take a chance on it. My doctor is concerned less I take all of my sleeping pills and all of the anti-depressents she has me on, Remeron by name, plus I'm sure that downing all of my cinemet too would unleash a coctail in me that would either do me in or put me to sleep for a helluva long time and considering it is now 3:36 AM I sure could use the sleep. I should be in bed now not up here tooling around on a chat site/forum.
Mainly it is good to know that I am not alone with these depressing thoughts because it's not at all like me, I usually see the glass as half full not half empty. The doctor has increased my remeron by half a tablet and even that seems to be helping.
I don't want to die, I'll miss my family and friends and mainly my husband too much. These are such morose thoughts and canbe a real downer so best I stop wallowing in it and try to give myself a good kick in the pants and just get on with it.
I may be facing another brain surgery for the PD but I'll find out more about that when I see the neurologist in April. I had the pallidotomy done in Oct, 2004 and the neurosurgeon was amazed at the improvement that I'd made. He said I was in a very small percentage of people who achieved the results that I did.
I know I've gone trough it once and it did bring relief but oh the thought of getting yet another hole drilled in my head is so intimidating. Wish I was a drinker, I might try some stronger stuff to help me through with all of this, alas and alack I'm not even a social drinker but if I were you'd better watch out. Hope I haven't taken up too much of your time but if anyone else feels as I do I'd love to hear from you.
Thanks again for letting me get......some of it.....off my chest. Lizzy B