feeling down

I don’t know where to start. Since I started on Prozac about 2 months ago (insurance would not pay for Lexapro without me trying Prozac 1 st ) I just have not felt like myself. Even when I was on Lexapro (I had gotten sample from the Dr. for 2yrs) I would have my moments but they were not nothing major & would only last a day or two. I know I need to switch meds again but I am afraid to. Every time I go off of an anti depress med. I get worse then before. I do not want to put my family through that again- not only does it scare them but it gets to the point that it scares me too.   I have these thoughts that go threw my head, which if I told anyone I think they would admit me into the hospital or something. I also see shadows once in awhile & have to look twice to make sure that there is nothing there. I would much rather stay at home by myself then go out in public (shopping or to work) There are times when I just can not bring myself to leaving the house, I have cut my hours back at work cuz of this & now they need me to cover a few hours in the afternoon for one of the cashiers (I normally work in the office) So this will be even more of a challenge for me cuz it will involve more people interaction. My boss does not know about my problem. Lately I have just felt so down with no energy & no emotion. I don’t know if this really makes sense but I almost feel like crying but yet at the same time I just don’t have it in me to.   I have not had much of an appetite lately except today I have been eating all junk food. Its very hard on me cuz I know that I have this problem & my son (13yr) doesn’t really under stand it completely, so I in turn end up feeling like an awful mother on top of everything. He knows that I have these mood swings & that I can’t help it & a lot of times I just have to tell him I don’t feel myself or don’t feel well but it still makes me feel guilty cuz I just can’t seem to bring myself to change anything – to make things better.  

I desided to post in my old thread instead of starting a new one. This last week has been so long, & I'm sure the weekend will go by too quick. I really need to get my butt into the Dr but I just dont have the money right now. I've had a dull headache all week. My moods are becoming more up & down again. I've noticed that I go threw periods where my hair falls out in almost globs (it not as thick as it used to be)My ears hurt on & off along with my jaw. I don't know if its from the meds or if I am just getting sick. I am on both prozac & topamax (for migrains) maybe the 2 do not mix well together. All I know is I broke down crying today cuz I just don't feel like I do anything right & my family would be better off without me around. The only reason & have not disapeared is cuz my husband has told me before that he wants me to stay & I know how it would effect our son.

This morning I noticed I lost a bunch of hair again. I also noticed that last night the roots of my hair hurt - never payed attention before, so thought this was interesting plus the fact that I had one of my crying spells yesterday. I did not know that the hair loss was a side effect of topamax- that kinda sucks cuz I really like topamax.