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Posted 5/22/2006 8:50 PM (GMT 0)
I never realized how I was paralyzed by so much fear.

Fear of not fitting in.

Fear of being too ugly.

Fear of being to fat.

Fear of being the only person who doesn't have any talent.

Fear of letting people through the front door.

Fear of getting a friend who will want to tattach to me.

At this point I have no friends because i won't let myself.

I have tons of people who are always asking me to do things but i just avoid them (hide).

I am fat and cannot pick out an appropriate outfit to save my life.

I don't fit in anywhere.

I am the only woman I know who doesn't know how to decorate her house and is sooo lonely she doesn't like to spend time alone cleaning it.

At the same time i hate a dirty house.

I do not let anybody, except for my kids friends, pass the front door cause i have a dog who isn't potty trained and my house stinks.

I don't answer the phone, ever.

I don't go anywhere because I am ashamed of how I look.

I also don't go cause then somebody might want to be my friend and come over to the house.

As weird as I am, everybody likes me.  They think I'm the life of the party cause I hide behind humor.

I DO NOT have the poor me just a fear of failure, I guess.

I Believe and LOVE JC and pray all day long.

I know exercise will make me feel better but I'd have to do it alone cause i won't ask anybody to go with me.

Yes, I'm quite the nut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody else out there this weird????????????????????

 

Posted 5/22/2006 10:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hi godsgirl, I can relate to how you feel. Has this come on suddely?

Firstly I know that everyone has a talent, even if it is a very humble one. You sound like you are being overly harsh on yourself. Maybe you haven't found something that you are really interested in.

You say you have kids? Have you maybe been shut away in the home for a long time looking after them and have lost the confidence to go out again?

You say you are fearful of not fitting in yet you have tones of people asking you to do things with them, and when you go out you sound like the life and soul of the party and that everybody likes you.

Maybe you are worried if people get to know the real you, but what is there to hide! But you have a great sense of humour, what a great trait to have. You sound like you are good with kids, another great skill.

It sounds like maybe that you are letting so many things get on top of you, you sound overwhelmed. Maybe start with small things first, and one at a time. All I know is that FEAR breeds FEAR, so the more you put off the harder you think everything becomes, then even the tiny things become such an effort, but only because you have developed this overgrown knot of anxiety. Susan Jeffers says in her book 'Feal the fear and do it anyway' that the fear one can have about doing something is always more painfull than actually doing it. So you may feel that when you have taken on one thing the others are not as scary.

You say exercise makes you feel better. Why not start by taking the dog out for more walks to gain some confidence getting out and about in the fresh air. And that would help your home from smelling of dog poop ;-)

How old are your kids, if you don't want to clean alone maybe make it an event with the kids.

hope you feel like branching out soon.

nou
Posted 5/22/2006 10:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ya
Heres my list, and in no way any less or more than yours, i decided to post because i feel quite the opposite of yours

i Fear fitting in, because i like being unique
i don't look in the mirror, so have no idea or even care if im ugly
i don't have enough weight
i do have a talent that frustrates me, keeps me awake at night,
im terrified of anyone wanting to attach to me
few people come to my door, as i live miles away from anyone and i rarely tell anyone where i am, and i like that

Probably the only person that thinks you are "as you say and not me" weird, is you, and if thats what you think then thats fine too, if thats what you want,

Measuring yourself against others is never going to get you very far, and quite likely those you measure yourself to, will do the same to you, as for the rest of us, we don't care what you look like, what you do, and very likely would find you refreshing simply because beyond what you feel about yourself, is a very compassionate, intelligent and interesting "real" person that can make us feel a little less afraid of what we fear,

i guess i negate everything by seeing the opposite in everything, i figure if im ugly then people will drop dead at the sight of me, if im goodlooking, id have a huge ego and be shallow, so best i be just who i am, and not be bothered by those things, but if i am bothered that much, then i will try and change something, but one thing at a time, and make it fun
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