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Posted 6/8/2006 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
hello, i'm new to this kind of forum but i thought i would give it a try. Waht can i loose? I have nobody to talk to about my depression anyway.  i have had depression for 8 years now and have been in treatment for 2. i am on Effexor XR 225mg daily. Yet i still seem to be getting worse all the time. My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand any of it, nor does he seem to want to. when i try to open up to him about things he shuts down like my problems meen nothing  and his are all that need his attention.  when he went to work in another city and was staying w/ his parents, i thought it might be a good thing for us to spend some time away. but the timing couldn't be worse.  My symptons seem to be out of controll.  and he knew that they were b4 he left (not that he had a choice at the time) I cant go anywhere without having a panic attack, inc. going to my own son's baseball games. (That is the worst of it all, i cant even be there for my own children.)

He promised to call or IM me every night to check up on me. the first night he didn't even bother. i was so upset and couldn't sleep at all. then every  night there after all i would get were short commings from him.......i was the one calling and messiging him.

I hve come to a point where i no longer know what to do or where to turn when things get bad for me. I have tryed the chat rooms and sometimes there is someone to say hello to but is hard to talk about intimate things w/ thoes you don't know.

Any help will be greatly appreciated

 

Posted 6/8/2006 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, Amkitro!
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now! You might want to try the panic/anxiety forum here. You say that you have a PA everytime you go somewhere. This could cause you to become agoraphobic. Please see your shrink ASAP. There are meds that can help you deal with the anxiety. Also, you probably should consider a therapist to talk out all these issues that you are having. about your BF, for some people, it is very difficult for them to understand what folks like us go thru and so they sort of think we're being ridiculous. Then there are those folks that are so self-asorbed that they don't WANT to try to understand. They're only concerned with self. And there are those that feel helpless to help and out of helplessness, actually become angry at US even though they know we've no control over our feelings and for some it's a combination of these!!! :P
Your BF doesn't sound like the type of guy I'd want to spend my life with...he sounds selfish and totally unsympathetic. I always said that I didn't expect any of my friends or family to UNDERSTAND; I did expect them to be UNDERSTANDING. There is a difference between the two.
You don't have to keep suffering. PLease see your doc and if he's not helpful, maybe you should try another doc.
Takecare and keep us posted! :)
janet
Posted 6/8/2006 12:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi AMkitro,  I wanted to welcome you to HW forum.  We are happy to have you.  This is a wonderful place to find support and real people who know what you are going through and are always willing to lend a listening ear and shoulder for you.  I hope that you do continue to visit us here it is much better I believe than trying to find advice or feedback in a chat room.  Janet has given you some wonderful advice which I totally agree with.  I have had depression for as long as I can remember and I also have anxiety/panic disorder with PTSD.  Quite a combination huh?  Anyhow, in the last 2 years I have come to realize that in managing my depression and A/P one of the biggest things that beneficial for me was getting rid of the excess baggage.  That included a bad marriage no matter how much I loved the guy it was not healthy for me, changing jobs to something that was less stressful mentally and physically.  Lastly going to counseling and managing medication to help with living with these disorders everyday.  You have many options open to you to help with this.  See there I go rambling again..lol!  Take care
Posted 6/8/2006 12:49 PM (GMT 0)
my doctor says effexor alone does not work , must add other meds to make it efective, like serquel, zeldox, praxil, etc ( mood stabilizers ).
Posted 6/8/2006 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Akram,  your doctor is right if it is bipolar disorder that you are trying to treat.  An antidepressant on its own wont work but, if you have depression or major depression then it is an appropriate treatment.  I have major depression with a/p and take only effexor xr 225mg a day and it works very well for me. 
Posted 6/8/2006 1:00 PM (GMT 0)
thanks for the info els, i remember the doc saying that to me , so i thought everybody is like me lol.
Posted 6/9/2006 3:30 AM (GMT 0)
     I want to thank everyone for all there sugestions and advice. Y'all are so nice to have taken the time to listen to my rambling.

 

     I went to my doc. office and saw the nurse to day. They have changed my diagnosis from MDD to bipolar but are concidering disthemia ( i hope that i spelled that correctly) with A/P.

The nurse managed to get me an appointment sooner than the one i had. Next Friday!  and i can discuss an alternative treatment sa. diff med or adding another...whatever he recomends.

 

I am very proud of myself, i actually went to my son's baseball game tonight  :-) ! (they won by the way) It was difficult but i did it.  I spent the whole time in my car just watching from a distance away from everyone but it was the only way i could keep from havin another panic attack.

                                  THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!!!!

Posted 6/12/2006 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
I KNOW EXACTLY HAW YOU FEEL!!!!!  I FEEL ALL ALONE AND SCARED I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD SON AND I DO NOT WANT HIM TO SEE ME LIKE THIS ITS VERY SCARY. I SUFFER FROM GAD AND PANIC DISORDER I WAS MARRIED THE FIRST TIME FOR 14YRS WE FOUGHT AND ARGUED ALOT,SO WHEN MY SON WAS 7 I MADE THE HARDEST DECISION OF MY LIFE AND LEFT. I STILL SAW HIM AND CALLED HIM EVERYNIGHT AND DO TO THIS DAY, HE IS WITH ME EVERY OTHER WEEKEND AND WED AND THURSDAY NIGHTS I FEEL LIKE I RUINED HIS LIFE. AND TO THIS DAY 6-1/2 YRS AGO MY ANXIETY IS WORSE THAN EVER WILL IT EVER GO AWAY CAN GOD FOR GIVE ME FOR LEAVING FOR SOMEONE ELSE IN HOPE TO GIVE HIM A BETTER LIFE???????????  I AM LOSING CONTROL FAST AGAIN CAN ANYONE HELP!!!!!!!!!
Posted 6/12/2006 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
welcome smokie-i wish that i could help you but i'm still going through the same things.I have been divorced now for 9 years. when i left i had a 5 yo and a 2 yo. it was hard then for me too.

But in the long run it was a good thing. I have (like you) kept a good relationship w/ my children and they didn't have to see mommy and daddy fighting all the time and still know that we both love them very much.  And that nothing was there fault. The best thing i can tell you is to see your doc. and explain all of your symptoms new and old so that everything can be evaluated and the best corse of treatment can be started.  Keeping your self healthy would be the best thing for your child as well. He/she being 13 now will have a good understanding of what is going on all you have to do is talk to him/her and let them know too.  Keeping things a secret would be more scarry for the kid than just telling them the truth.  Kids know more these days than they are given credit for (in general).  I hope that you get things worked out. Keep us informed.

were always here if you need to talk.

Posted 6/12/2006 11:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Smokey,  Welcome to healing well.  I am sorry for your divorce I understand how hard it is to go through as I have been divorced for almost two years now myself.  I don't have children though and cant relate in this area.  Perhaps some family counseling would be a good idea for you and your son so you can heal from this.  The guilt your carrying around is only making matters worse and a therapist would be able to help give you some suggestions / skills on how to deal and cope with this.  Aside from that we are always here as AMKitro stated so please do feel free to continue to post, HW is a wonderful place to find support and information whenever you need it.  Take care
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