I would love to get other people's opinions on this, if you have time :)
I'm in FL visiting, my friend lives about 5mns from where I'm staying. This is my 3rd time here and, every time, the first couple weeks are really good, we hang out, go shopping, stuff like that. Then it goes downhill from there, to the point that if I dont show up on her doorstep (scared to death of being told to leave) then I dont see her for weeks at a time. This time, well, I havent even HEARD from her since Tuesday,not a phone call, no email, nothing. And the only reason I did hear from her last Tuesday is because I called.
We work together, and I do a lot of work for her,without getting paid because she has money problems. The last 2 times she called me, was to ask if I could babysit her son for a few hours (I said yes,of course).In short, I dont hear from her unless she needs me for something
I'm feeling very left out. A few weeks ago, she took her family and the 2 kids that live next door to a park for the day.She didnt tell me anything about it, I found out because one of the kids told me. She has not invited me once to go to the beach with them (they go every weekend). Well this weekend being 4th of July w/e and all,they will all be on the beach having fun and doing fireworks.Again I know because one of the kids told me.
Another thing that really hurt my feelings, was that we were on Hurricane Watch a few weeks ago. I didnt want to stay alone, so I told her I was scared and asked if I could come over. It took her a little while to respond and then she said, yes, unless we have to evacuate. She then told me if we have to evacuate I cant take you,I have no room you'll have to go to a shelter. That really hurt my feelings. She'd take her neighbours in a heartbeat, but apparently I dont matter as much, if at all.
Now in her defense, I *DO* take a lot of room. I'm not really that fun to be around of. I'm boring and not really interesting. And if she HAD invited me to the beach I would most likely have said no, because I'm way too disgustingly gross to be seen in a bathing suit. Also, I'm very scared of being humiliated or turned down, so sometimes it makes me look cold and distant. It's possible that she thinks I dont WANT to be there, that I'm not interested. Something else you should know,is that we have a big age difference. I'm 18 (though I dont act or look it) and she's 36.
I'm just very confused. I dont know if this is in my head, or if she just doesnt like me unless she can get something out of me. What do you think ??
I love it here.. despite what I just wrote, it's still SO much better than being home. And I was planning on coming back in a few months, but now I wonder if I should. I'm used to being lonely and sad at home, but it's a lot harder here when I know what I'm missing.
Should I come back, even though at this point I cant wait to leave ? Should I tell her something.. or ask her what's going on.. and if so, how do I do that ? She's my only friend, and even if I feel sometimes she's taking advantage of me, it's a whole lot better than having no friend at all.