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My brother's depression

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Posted 7/5/2006 2:41 AM (GMT 0)

Hello all who reads!

My brother lost his wife about three years ago and went to counseling once and felt better.  I believe he has reached rock bottom.

 The house is a mess, and he has increased his drinking.  I have begged him to go to counseling, but he says he is fine.  He has a 16 year old at home, who is emotionally balance.  I'm trying to help, but I need to keep emotionally balance also.  My goal is one day at a time, I  and constantly asking him to go to therapy. This is got to be one of the most heart wrenching illness there is?  And please excuse any grammar errors.

Well, there it is thank you for letting me vent.

Posted 7/5/2006 11:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi zorna,  Welcome to healing well forum.  I am sorry about you and your brothers loss.  Did she pass away or is it from divorce?  Either way can be devastating for the person.  Alcohol works as a depressant in the body, when someone turns to drinking or increases their drinking due to an event such as this they usually do it as a means to escape or an attempt to feel better or numb the pain.  But the alcohol works backwards towards this and ends up making the person more depressed.  I understand it is difficult to watch someone you love go through this and torchering themselves in this way.  My suggestion would be to keep on him about counseling, and perhaps read up on alcohol and depression related articles that are available..there are many on the Internet that are quite good.  You can print them out and take them to him, and perhaps his child can even try to put some pressure on him getting help.  I am sure that at 16 yr of age they are more than aware of what is going on and it is effecting them in some way shape or form. I wish you and your family much luck..perhaps another member will also have some suggestions for you on this, I am sure.  Please do post again and let us know how it goes.  Take care
Posted 7/6/2006 1:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, Zona here,
Number one this is cleansing for me just to get it out. I made the appointment for next Wednesday for my brother to go to therapy.

My brothers girlfriend said she would go with him. Someone who he respects is suppose to be calling him and talking to him from the same church that is holding his therapy session. I am staying prayful that he go, I don't want to think about what will happen to my heart if he does not. Also, to get the ball rolling, four of his support team is going to the house to clean up.
Posted 7/6/2006 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, for your help.  I cleaned today just the kitchen, his son and future wife are going to be cleaning Saturday and Sunday.  Believe it or not I am not finished cleaning the kitchen yet.  But my brother does seem like he has a little more energy, he was folding clothes and the living room was clean.  He took out the garbage without having to be asked.  I hope I'm not letting myself in for a let down.    Does having a clean house make a difference for a person going thur depression?
Posted 7/11/2006 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
Zona, again, last Thursday and Friday I cleaned my brothers kitchen, yes, I said two days. He was beginning to move more. Saturday the future wife, daughter and Son continued to clean. The entire house is clean at this point. Thursday, I registered him for therapy, he does not know why, he just know his future wife will be going. If he goes and listen maybe, just maybe he will break the wall and will want to be heal.
I am trying to get my nephew in therapy, but cannot reach anyone, I will keep trying anyway. My 70 year old day will be coming in a few weeks he knows nothing. I feel like I am taking a shot in a dark trying to get him help. There is no right or wrong way. A friend told me to cry when I need to and try everything over and over again. Thanks for listening.
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