The strong will survive.

I have been on this site for awhile now..do not consider myself an expert at all. I have so many demons that I am trying to overcome that I sometimes wonder how I do it.
This morning while reading thru the posts,I started thinking about the outside world.
The people that are first to tell you to basically not dwell on the past to only think about the future.
That is good advice,but I wonder about those people. I wonder if they were put in the shoes of the people that post on this forum if they would be so quick to give that advice.
I wonder if they would be able to go out and face the world and put on their best smile when needed.If they would know how to say that everthing was fine when in reality they felt like the world was closing in on them.
I have made previous posts about people not knowing how good they really have it. How they take things for granted. And I think that if they had to live one day in our shoes,their outlook on life,and their compassion would change dramatically. I think I have more compassion than some of my friends for other people,just because I know from experience that what you see on the outside is usually not what is on the inside.
I am usually the first person to be there for someone when they are down. I try to make sure I am always available just to listen to someone talk. I would never dream of cutting that person off just because I can not relate to what they are saying.
I think that when life becomes harsh,and you are able to survive it.Then you will be able to survive almost anything. You have better survival skills than most. Even though you wish you could be more knieve about things as that means your past was not tarnished. But,at least you know you are strong.
This is for everyone that posts on this site. And this is for myself too,as I need a better outlook on life and I need to keep telling myself that If I can survive what I have been through,the rest of life should be a piece of cake.

I often look at my friends and others and think the same thing (how weird is that?)...very well said Shy

I heard something in a group once that changed my perspective. My mother is a survivor of childhood rape, orphaned at 2, orphanage then foster care for thirteen years where she was beat on a regular basis. Served in the British Army during WWII and survived many bombings. Then she married my dad, a US soldier, came to the states and was beat on a regular basis for over five years. She had 8 children (one died of malnutrition) and 4 miscarriages in 12 years. The family lived in total poverty until my alcoholic dad decided to sober up and change things.

I tell you all this for a reason. My mom is a survivor. A survivor is someone who lives through something. But she has lived a bitter, angry, resentful, paranoid life for 83 years. She has refused therapy and/or medication. She has lived a long and terrible life but yes, she is a survivor.

No disrepect to this post, just something to think about. I do not want to be a "survivor." I want to be a "thriver." There is a huge difference.Think about this and maybe it will change your perspective also.

I know Kathy...that is why I think we need to remind ourselves sometimes,and keep reminding ourselves!

Pug, I just wanted to say that thank you for the post. It does give us something to think about and maybe even change our lives.

All good thoughts here on this thread. Thank you everyone for your words. My Mom was real nice but had a "nervous breakdown" when I was 8. My Dad died too. I went to 8 grammer schools (out in California, Arizonia and mostly New York) and was very mixed up. I focused a lot on school work but eventually the whole mess got to me and I "cracked up" too.

There was such prejudice against mental illness then. In fact this prejudice still exists but is not as bad now. My whole family was against my Mom; but I noticed nobody helped us. Just critical comments, etc.

Thank goodness I met my husband who was so good to me. I began to truly thrive and am still doing ok, I guess. But I have some other horrible health problems like asthma and GERD and arthritus, IBS, etc.

All health problems are horrible and that I guess is just my opinion. Good vibrations are being sent to all.

Dear Shy

I agree - I define surviving as a positive step - living a happy fulfilled life rather than giving up ! I came to this forum feeling very depressed and low but have found your thread a very positive one - I think that little self-critical voice inside me is my biggest enemy - I find that when I muster up enough energy to bypass that voice - I feel better and stronger. Unfortunately there are still times when I succumb to it and let myself get down. The enemy is unfortunately within me but fortunately so is my savior - the interesting part is seeing who will win!

Than you for the insightful and curiously encouraging post !

Susan

Great thread, Shy -- thank you!

I've been thinking a lot recently about whether I need to go to my doc about how I'm feeling at the moment. As usual, I've been dwelling mostly on the bad and how going on meds again would be a step back (despite much more sound advice that I find myself able to give to others). Your post reminded me of what I think of as my survival instinct -- the little something inside me that unfailingly over the past 10 years has kicked in when I hit rock-bottom and walked me to the doc. It's kicked in this time too by making me book counselling and getting me here. That may be enough, but I have to recognise that it may be the relief of getting counselling and having such support here that's delaying it taking me to the doc and that it'd be better to check in with the doc and let her decide on this now than to risk things bottoming out again and wait for my survival instinct to pull me somewhere at that point. That's made me realise that going to the doc now could be counted as a success -- a slightly more pre-emptive strike than usual that means I'm getting more able to handle my bouts of depression.

Which made me want to say this: everybody who's made it to this board must have their own little survival instinct. We've all put at least one thing in place to give us support in a time of crisis, whatever stage of depression we're at, and whatever other help we've sought out (or not). So here's to us, and to that little something inside us that knows the best thing to do when we're struggling.

All best wishes and virtual pats on the back to all! ;)

Rosie

Hi, shy and everybody...today the polie came by and visited me because kids have been urinating in our garbage room, on the bushes, etc. They leave a trail of toilet paper. Simultaneously, I had a call into my doctor about my gastrointestial problems. I felt alittle wierd and overwhelmed and everything. But then I said, I have had worse problems than this. This is nothing and I got though both messes.

I am strong, I am woman, I can do anything.

I was thinking this morning...if we all made a list of things that we have survived, I think we would be amazed to actually see it in writing.

I totally agree with that Shy, I dont think any of us give ourselves credit for making it through what was have, I got to thinking, and hey, ive made it through alot, seeing it in writing would surely make it easier to like me maybe???

Shy,
I think you have a lot of wise things to say. After reading all the posts in this thread I sat here thinking about my own history. Much to my suprise I found out that even though I feel like the world has totally kicked my ass, I am a surviver. Just the fact that I am still alive atests to that. I think the idea of a 'what I've survived" thread is a great idea. It would be a way for people to share their amazing stories. I have taken a lot of encougagrment from the posts I have read on these boards.And with the help of some very special people I have met here(and other boards/chats) I feel I am making progress in my battle with my D/BP.

PugandherPeeps said...

No disrepect to this post, just something to think about. I do not want to be a "survivor." I want to be a "thriver." There is a huge difference.Think about this and maybe it will change your perspective also.

What a completely awesome statement.  I am new to the board, and have been doing a lot of reading and "sight-seeing".  This statement describes exactly why I continue with me treatment for depression, why I read and study about new meds, etc.  Thank you so much for saying this!! Leaann