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just so sick of it all

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Posted 8/24/2006 6:36 PM (GMT 0)
I'm usually on the Crohn's forum, but I also have depression, and have never come over here, I don't know why.  I'm on anti depressants.  This week has been a real doosie though.  I just can't seem to get out of this misery.  I'm on Prednisone for the Crohn's, and have gained about 20 pounds in the last month, and I'm one of the Crohn's patients that doesn't need to gain weight.  I'm very, very depressed about that.  I just feel like crap all the time....so very sick of it all.  I just want to be "normal", whatever that is.  Not sick, not in  pain, not depressed, or upset. 

My kids are all grown and gone, but they are going through tough times too, and of course I worry about them.  I have that caretaker personality.  I have a son in Afghanistan now who is going through a divorce.  She told him after he was over there, and she is being really really nasty.  I can't believe how people can change.  And he has a 2 year old daughter, my grandaugter, that he was allowed to see for 2 days when he was on his R & R, because he's just trying to do the right thing, he only had 2 weeks here in the states and didn't want to start anything right now.  Its so hard to see your kids suffer.  He's the one I'm worried about most right now, but the others are going through some hard times too.  And I have another son who is in Iraq right now, he's due to come home in Nov.  Boy I can't wait for that.  Even then when he calls me, its an effort to be excited, I just don't want to talk to anyone anymore. When friends call, I usually tell them I don't feel well, or I'm busy, and i'll call back, but I don't.

Sorry about all that, I guess I just needed to vent a little.  No one needs to reply, I just needed to get that out of my system maybe.

Just so tired and miserable, and depressed.

Posted 8/24/2006 7:22 PM (GMT 0)
Dory, I'm sorry you are hurting so much. You definitely have alot "on your plate." I know how when you're depressed it's hard to reach out to anyone. I too struggle with letting people care about me when I'm so down. I do know when I do, it almost always gives me a boost. I hope you have someone you can reach out to. From looking around these boards I think you will always find a friend here. Hang in there.
Posted 8/24/2006 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dory,

Sounds like a really stressful time for you -- and so tough to see those we love suffering. Your sons are lucky to have you there for them. Do you have anyone around you that you can talk to? -- do you have therapy at all? I think at the very least you should see a doctor. -- Coping with your Crohns, the weight gain and all the external stressors too must have taken a toll on you and you could probably do with some meds to help you through this patch. And it might be worth discussing your Crohns meds too -- tell your doc how worried you are about the weight gain. I don't know what options there are for Crohns meds, but there may be other meds you could try. I'm pretty sure that there are people here who also have Crohns with their depression, and it would be worth posting in the anxiety/panic forum too, cos there are certainly one or two there. I'm sure they'll be able to offer ideas on the meds front.

Take care Dory -- and post here whenever you like. -- We'll be here to help!!!

Rosie x
Posted 8/25/2006 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the replies.
Rosie- Another one of my "problems" is that I can't take any of the Crohn's meds. I have reactions or they just don't work. I've been on all of them at one time or another. My Dr. told me that there is nothing they can do for me at this time, so I'm on the Pred. It does seem to be working, but the side effects......i don't know.
I don't usually talk about my problems with anyone. I just don't like to complain, ya know? I even feel a little uncomfortable doing it here.
My husband does understand and I talk to him, and he is very supportive. Thank God for him!! And if I wasn''t on the Antidepressants it would probably be a lot worse. I don't go to therapy though. No insurance.
Thanks again, I appreciate your responses.
Dory
Posted 8/25/2006 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
Atedogs,
Thank you. For appreciating my sons. And yes my son will be home from Afghanistan early next year, and he is going to give it his all. This is so hard on him. He was finally off his meds for depression, and had to start taking them again. It took him and my husband to stop me from going there and going after her. I feel the same way about her as you do.
I do talk to my family, but I usually don't go into how I really "feel". I did however talk to my husband tonite, and it did make me feel a little better to just get it out, and writing here helped too. He is so understanding, and stands beside me no matter what, and I have put him through a lot.
Thank you for caring and your thoughts. I hope you are ok, and you are in my thoughts as well.
Dory
Posted 8/25/2006 12:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dory,

Sounds like you have a wonderful man there -- well, three wonderful men really!!!

I'm sorry you have such difficulties with Crohns meds -- typical isn't it?! I've had a lot of sensitivities to different anti-depressants, but am lucky to have now found one that works and doesn't hit me in some other way. I guess the next thing to look at is your diet and exercise -- horrible I know, because it's not your fault that you've put weight on to begin with. I'm sure there will be Crohns resources that could help you with this -- and probably suggest foods that are particularly beneficial with this condition (which would be a nicer thing to find out!), and your doc should be able to advise and help you. You may already have looked into this -- in which case, I apologise for flogging a dead horse!! I just really feel for you on this -- and would love to be able to come up with something that would help you with the weight gain and restore some of your sense of well-being. x

Are there any Crohns/anxiety/depression/weight support groups in your area that you could go along to? Often it's not easy to find these. In the UK we have what's known as the Citizens Advice Bureau, which always has info on such groups, and I wonder if there's a similar resource you could contact? Yes, it's hugely important to keep talking to people, and I'm so very glad that you have a supportive husband in all of this, but it's also good to meet others regularly who are in the same boat -- or a similar one! Well, in person support groups or not, *we* are all here for you. I know you said you find it difficult to talk about stuff, but you've made a *great* step on this, and I really hop you keep coing back. I also found it very difficult to talk when I first arrived here, but quickly felt more at ease and am now a regular chatterbox!!!

(((Dory)))

Rosie x
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