HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Rapped

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 11/4/2006 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hello

When i was 7 years old i was rapped by my cousin about 14 times, i could barely understand what was going on then. I didn't understand what it mean. But i finally told my sister what was going on and that was how all my family found out. I was looked at as if something was wrong with me. But i grew up not knowing what was going to happen in the future. When i turned 12 everything was okay until when i turned 13. A guy used, have sex with me and just throw me aside. That reopen the wound i barely kept closed. I stared to hate every guy. I hated myself. I started not to like any guy touch me or look at me. I love to dress and everything then i sated to want to cover up my skin. I don't want anyone to see my body. I'm a life without a soul. I don't feel like doing anything i like to do anymore. I may like a guy at one time and hate him 5 seconds later. I thought i was over this, but why does this pain come back and disturbed my life. I feel so dirty. I would have been a virgin, if he has not taken my innocent away from me. What he took away i can never have it back. What HE destroy will never be restored.

Posted 11/4/2006 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hi,

I was also raped when I was 15 but a guy I was dating. Mine isn't as severe as yours. The best way to combat your pain from the rape is to do things over again with someone you trust. This might not make sense to you the way I am saying it. Let me describe more. Like you said you don't like to show any skin or any body parts now. Maybe show a friend a part of you like your stomach. Then have a friend touch your wrist. Keep going until your comfortable enough to have a bathingsuit on in front of a friend. Then try going to the beach where guys would be.

When your ready to have a relationship with a guy. Try to redo things that scare you , so that you'll have good memories instead. It won't erase the bad ones but will give the pain from the bad ones less power over time. And it will get less and less.

I am so sorry for your pain. But YOU CAN TAKE BACK WHAT HE STOLE!

Posted 11/4/2006 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much. i do not think that will help me but i will try it.
Posted 11/5/2006 3:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Narutosis, Welcome to healing well forum and also to the depression board we are happy to have you posting here.  I was wondering if you have ever gone to counseling or received any kind of treatment at all from your abusive past?  I really think that this is going to be the best place to start and you and a thearpist can discuss the issues that are most bothersome for you and then form a treatment plan from there.  It does take alot of work and dedication on your part and yes, some of those thoughts and feels may never go away...but with the help of thearpy you may be able to learn some skills to better deal with what has happened to you.

I can understand this as I too am a survivor of childhood molestation by my stepfather for many years.  I am 33yrs old and always thought I could deal with what happened to me on my own.  Fact of the matter was...I wasnt dealing with it at all which allowed my past to dominate my mind, actions, and relationships.  I am in thearpy now and working on it but it is a slow process and painful bringing all that back up again but at the same time it is librating getting it out and telling someone who doesnt judge you and who knows that it wasnt your fault.

My thoughts are with you...

Posted 11/5/2006 3:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Narutosis. I am SO glad Elisha shared her experiences with you. I too was molested by my stepfather (who was a very influential man) when i was a teenager. I was messed up for a long time and didn't go to a therapist till I was in my 30s. It really helped me to resolve all the anger, shame, guilt and fear. It was worth it, and although I still had other problems (anxiety, panic attacks, depression, insomnia) at least that one was finally behind me. I still have the memories but not the emotions attached.

Maybe if others will post their story too you can begin to see that with professional help it really is possible to heal from this.

Warmest wishes,
Posted 11/5/2006 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all very much
I feel better to know that i am not alone.
Posted 11/6/2006 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
No Narutosis, your most certianly not alone.

We are always here for you... :-)

Posted 11/12/2006 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you all very much.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply