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Posted 1/9/2007 4:38 AM (GMT 0)

Im really fed up, cant see any point in my life, I have been off work 8 weeks probably lose my job next just to make things worse, sick of changing my meds, due too side effects or dont seem to work,still cant be bothered doing anything its as if everything is hard work and hurts.used to be so happy go lucky now im driving my whole family mad moaning how bad I feel and not bringing any income in just feel like a waste of time, Even my 12 year old daughter is now depressed and seeing counsellor due too self harming all my fault maybe they would be better off wih out me, As I sleep half the day and then wake up like now at stupid hours then cant sleep all nite, I cant explain why I phisically feel so ill pains in joints and flu type feelings all the time and cant breath cut cigs down docs reckon bad time too stop,I even went for hiv test just feel that crap,
Only time I feel ok is if I have a drink but worse next day I have turned into big fat loser , MY family are behind me mum and dad helped me get through xmas but still have to pay them back and there getting on a bit so they dont need this crap, I havent even got this months mortgage I dont want sympathy but I cant take much more sorry im going on take care all :default/why-me:
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Posted 1/9/2007 12:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi tonyc
Ok..sounds like you have reached the bottom of the pit and it's time to drag your way to the top again..step by step I Know you can do it...if I can do it..so can u! Once your daughters sees that Dad is trying hard to be well she will too eh?

There are no overnight solutions but I am wondering if you have sought some sort of counselling/therapy which would give you another perspective on things and teach you new skills to cope thru this rough patch.

Lets start with the sleeping prob..coz if we are not sleeping we are not healing and resting the body for the next day.

How about making yourself get up in the morning like the rest of the family - no sleeping during the day - and then off to bed at a reasonable hour..if you have a significant other who can help that would be great.

Writing a list of things you wish to achieve during your day could be a plan..crossing them off as you go..you may be amazed at what you can do to help yourself :)

Time to take control tonyc...looking forward to your next post.

Maree

 

Posted 1/9/2007 1:38 PM (GMT 0)

Hi  tonyc, Maree has some very good suggestions for you.  It's difficult to deal with depression when your facing money problems and family to boot.  I agree with the counseling as it does seem that you need someone to speak to regarding how your feeling.  Also, when you see your doctor perhaps ask about an antidepressant that would help aleviate some of these depressive symptoms for you.  I am going to post a few hotlines incase you feel that you may need them.  You can save them to your computer or they will be on this thread if you like.  Just remember that you are a valuable part of your family and they need you here.

http://suicidehotlines.com/

http://suicidal.com/depressionandsuicide/

http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.html

http://spsfv.org/hotlines.htm


Posted 1/10/2007 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
thanks for the thought not much better really frustrated, AS I found out that dosulepin is the same as dothiepin which is where I started 2 years ago and it didnt help, I also lost all sexual urges on dothiepin which is not very pleasant, not that I feel that sexy at the moment lol, but the doctor should have known all this ? .and the diahorea hasnt stopped, Im not to fed up or suicidal at the moment just want it to all go away,even though i just have no motivation, any way enough of me hope your well and smiling take care tony xx
Sorry tony, I have had to edit this small part out of your post as first and last names are not allowed due to protecting privacy on HW.  Thank you ~ Elisha

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 1/13/2007 6:19:30 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/10/2007 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Tonyc I am not giving up on you yet lol...what positive thing are you gonna do today as a small step towards being well again? Even if it's just getting up earlier in the day..you deserve a better quality of life than you have at the moment...awww come on don't give up..try just a little step today :-)

We care about you..now how about you caring a little more about you too..You Can Do It..even when you feel like #@*#!

Maree

Posted 1/10/2007 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
thanks again well today I have to take down 2 xmas trees and tidy up the house,
I hope too have along walk with dog weather permitting so i will keep busy,
I have also emailed work to tell them whats going on wether they like it or not,
\Dont know when I will go back I am very week after the constant diarrhoea,
if that and some other phisicall pains would go, I would be laughing,
hope your all ok thanks for all the kind wishes tony lol xx
Posted 1/10/2007 6:14 AM (GMT 0)
So glad to hear you making progress tony

..yay and well done! :-)

What sort of dog do you have? We don't have a dog just now..but we do have a cat lol. Can you take your daughter with you when you go for these walks?

Here in New zealand it's supposedly 'summer' sheesh you wouldn't think so for the past week we have had rain..but on the upside it's warm rain I spose lol. Where are you on the globe?

Just a few more questions..I know..nag nag nag lol

Has the diahorrea stopped?

Is it possible to ease your way back into the workforce..perhaps a few hours a day to start?

Maybe you will find that your aches and pains might ease a little when you mind stops going 'blah blah' about how Ick you feel just now...but, we will just wait and see..

Keep up the good work and keep us posted..I am soo proud of your efforts..big hugz!

Maree

Posted 1/10/2007 6:29 AM (GMT 0)
thanks maree unusual spelling of that name very nice,WE have a staffordshire bull terrier shes getting on a bit nearly 12 years old,sarahbeth will come for walks if its dry and shes not at school,
I live in a place called formby near liverpool UK ,I have still got this bloody diahorrea wait and see when
the other meds are out of my system, I cant ease into work as I am steel erector (welder Fabricator) by trade on site all over the place, funny I was looking at oppertunities in new zealand to emigrate the other day on the net very interesting IVE been up all nite again 6.30 am here you sound alovely person big hugs from the carr family xxx by the way great web site
ps I would like send you small discription of how this all started take care lots of hugs tony

Post Edited (tonyc) : 1/9/2007 11:47:47 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/10/2007 6:57 AM (GMT 0)
We have lots in common Tony..my dad comes from Bootle, Liverpool lol and my husband is a fitter/welder..how about that lol.!
Will email you soon...you take care 'nightowl' lol.
Maree
Posted 1/10/2007 7:12 AM (GMT 0)
Bootle is only ten minutes from here any info or pics you would like just ask my wife libby is
busy doing here family tree at the moment.I am adopted and found out 18 months ago I have 3 brothers and a sister in the crewe area that was also quite stressfull
you take care tony xx
Posted 1/11/2007 7:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hello tony..howz things going?
You have been thru so much..have just read all your info...but hey, the good news is that you are still here to tell the tale!

I guess it will be thursday morning just now..and you will have spent all night doing the 'nightowl' thing lol..whereas I have been to work all day in the nice warm sunshine potting and repotting tiny little plants at a Tree Nursey..mmm summer lol.

Anyhow, I look forward to hearing of more positive steps made by you in the near future... :-)

Maree

Posted 1/11/2007 8:56 AM (GMT 0)
Hi maree just read your Email thanks, Glad your enjoying the sun over there black january here
I ended up having a really bad day yesterday,
after we spoke I put the two christmas trees away and felt totally exausted went to bed.
and could not sleep felt really ill pains in chest and back pins and needles allover,
and the old constant stomache pains with diahorea im sure this is more than depression.
I then dropped off about 3.00pm,Worst time possible as family home at six and I hadnt
done dinner, Wich didnt go well with Family, I noticed a few things I now do in bed that I never did before I hug a pillow or a bunch of quilt and god do I have wierd dreams very black and hard too work out,
I then woke at 1.30am decided to stay off pc made the daughters butties and cup of tea and went back up
Wife asleep on couch nothing new as toss and turn all nite watched telly till 3.00am anyway I prattle on
prob cause no one too talk too been up since 7.00am feeling awful really useless , really need too get back too work but its that physical dont feel up to it my head is really battered anyway docs at 4.10 this afternoon take care all tony xxxxx
Posted 1/11/2007 10:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hi tony, Please do post and let us know how your doc appointment goes.  Some of the things you report like "pins & needles all over, chest pains" are not typical symptoms of depression.  Yes, depression does give the body an achy feeling but I have some concerns that perhaps there may be some medical problems going on here.  Be sure that he does a through check up.  Looking forward to hearing more from you.  Take care

Posted 1/13/2007 11:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hows things hope your all well, went to the docs told,him everything he said he wants me just to carry on with the med dosulepin 75 mg, I said about diahrea and stomach aches and feeling unwell he reckons its just down to the med, I am so fed up,I am eating as healthy as poss hrdly having any alchohol odd glass of wine with wife the only thing is im still smoking only 10 a day if that he said maybe not good time too quit, Told him things ive done round the house and that I had just done a food shop and had a walk round the village he said I think we are getting some where, Im not sure, anyway went to see my mum and adopted ones who live round the corner and I consider as my real parents, then came home and felt really good cooked lamb chops mashed spuds and sprouts, We all ate then I felt terrible stomach pain etc went for lie onthe bed, fell a sleep for 1hr came down after five times on toilet, aproxx 1.00am just gone again 9.13am here, anyway got some sleep and here I am talking too my new friend in newzealand, just feel very lathargic today, see how we get on , I have afew books on depression but cant concentrate at the moment got some books for christmas there still by my bed thanks for all the thoughts hope your well tony Hugs too all xx
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