don't have a lot to give you all right now but I'm cheering for you in my prayers...

Oh Kelly I am so sorry. There is something about those pre-assessments. I had to take one and my interview process was stopped. They would not share my results. This bothers me very much.........but evidently for a lot of companies you have to get thru this test as a final hurdle. I have been trying to get answers on line. I want to know how these assumptions are made.....what answers generate what personality traits. I will let you know if I find something concrete. Sending you hugs Levonne

Hi Levonne and Anne,

It was the weirdest thing. It's been hard not to think about it this weekend. I was really counting on getting this job and hoping to be made an offer on Friday. It sure would solve a lot of my problems. Here I sit w/o money, not knowing where I will be in a couple weeks, wondering if I can work or need to go on long-term disability, inner & outer pain -- facing all of my worst fears. I've NEVER lived like this before. This is my bottom. I'm worried about the physical demands of packing/moving. I've burned myself out mentally with the anxiety & worry.

I plan to call the HR lady on Monday (tomorrow) and ask her what the "next steps" are. Hopefully, I'll get a straight answer.

It could be that I didn't fit perfectly into the "profile" for the position. It could be that b/c the HR lady was doing orientation, the other HR lady faxed everything to Corporate and they got their hands in the pot, it could be that the HR lady failed to put it on the Branch Managers schedule, it could be that a emergency came up or it could be they changed their mind about me and it's easier to tell me over the phone.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Kelly

I'm not doing well.  On top of having severe shoulder/neck pain, I was feeling a wee bit better on Sunday and took my dog to the dog park.  I was sitting on the ground, leaning against a chain link fence and for some weird reason a dog comes up right next to me and starts to poop!  I jumped up and ran away in horror.  I strained my low back.  It's VERY BAD.  I believe it is sciatica as it locked up on me and I have been having cramps/aching/throbbing down my legs. 

Yesterday, I heard from the company that I had hoped to get an offer from.  They said "they are going forward with other candidates."  I've obsessed over this but it's OVER.  I will never really know what happened.  All that I know is that the Manager was going to make me an offer on Friday and as I sat there waiting for 1 hour- something went down. 

I am in so much pain - inside & out.  I am broken. 

If you don't hear from me, I probably went to the mental health hospital.  okay? 

Keep up the fight and look UP for help.  

Kelly

Hi Meg,

I didn't go to the hospital. I did get to the point where I called. They said "no beds" and "the way it works these days is that you are evaluated and treated until you de-escalate." I just worry that I won't get a good nights rest in there so unless I'm really on the verge of taking the bottle of pills, I'd rather stay home and cry myself to sleep. At least I am with my dog.

I'm not doing so great. I hurt my back badly and I have suffered all day with a severe migraine.

I'm overwhelmed. Moving on the 28th -to my Mom's - on the floor in tiny 1-bdrm. apartment. Have to let go of a lot of things that made my house a home. I'm sad but if I'm going to live, I have to walk through this fire. The pain makes it difficult.

THANK YOU so much for your prayers. I'm still hoping to hear good news about your employment situation.

Kelly

I wish I had a camper.

Hi everyone, I was blessed last night and today with people to help me pack. I'm going to Mom's. She is not allowed to have me very long as it's a "no-no" at the Senior Park "and" section 8 housing but I'm thankful for a roof over my head. I took a long nap today after everyone left and I did wake up feeling sad to see everything in boxes, every last detail of what made this my home is gone. However, I believe that I have "accepted" this. I know that God will provide everytime. He provided boxes and bodies at the last minute. I don't know what His plan is for my life but I do believe that he works everything together for good. I'm moving next Saturday. I have an interview tomorrow (Monday) in my County. I figure I'll try right up to the last day. It would be incredible if I could get this position! Your prayers will be appreciated.

Kelly,

You know you are still in my prayers, you are doing so well I am proud of you!!!! You are always in my thoughts too! As Nervymeg says to see this as a wonderful new beginning knowing that when you are put through the fire God will bring you out shining like gold to be what He wants you to be!!!!!!!

love and ((((hugs))))

Ann

I hope you and your doggie are settling in well Kelly.  I can lend you my wonder woman suit if you need a bit of super strength !!

We have spoken several times on Migraine/depression/anxiety. I really have been burdened by your situation. I don't have that one miracle phrase to help you, but you are in my prayers. I wish you the best and pray God blesses you with a peace and pain free week.
Best to you,
Ang

Kelly-

Ironically, one of the things on my "to do" list today was to post to see if anyone had heard from you... I have been really concerned about you-

sorry to hear you were hospitalized, but I hope you were able to get some help there... I have heard of Remeron, but am not familiar with it- hopefully this will be your answer!!! You are such a wonderful person and deserve only the best of everything!!

Please know I am thinking of you- and let us know how things are going!!

Hi a.l. -- that was so nice to read. Thank you for thinking of me. God bless you, a.l.

Levonne, I don't think the hospital was very productive. I went in "suicidal" yet they treated me like a criminal. I think at the very least they should give you one-on-one therapy. Also, the first couple of days there I felt more depressed than ever. They did not have "workers" who were trained to be compassionate and helpful to depressed people. I've been VERY SICK too. I probably got some poor folks sick. They came in the room at least 20 times a day. Also, the "groups" were very light, like "how to deal with stress." They lasted only a short time and didn't encourage discussion of "real problems." Overall, a big dissapointment.

I applied for long-term disability today but am still hopeful to work as I am self-supporting and the system is flawed. Right now, at this time, their is no assistance available to me. I wish I did not know this. My heart aches for people who find themselves ill and unable to work. I am going to pray a lot about this as maybe God wants me to help people who face this kind of trial in the future. God bless you.

Kelly-You are so right!! Our "system" needs major revamping!! My SIL was recently in rehab for addiction, and because she was a "paying" patient (my MIL paid major $$$$ for it), she got much better care than those who were there without paying.  That is just so sad to me- everyone needs the same level of treatment!! As you said, it is those that are most in need that have the hardest time getting aid.

Anyway, have you noticed any changes with the new med? Is it one that takes time to "kick in"?

Hope this post finds you feeling a little better today- sending big hugs your way!!

Oh, Kelly, sorry to hear the news... our system really is screwed up! What do they expect people to live on while they are waiting for their disability to come through!!?? Our country really needs to rethink its policies!!

Your fighting spirit is coming through in your posting again, though- so you will get through this! And we are all here to support you!! As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers!!!