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Depression
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Posted 2/14/2007 4:05 PM (GMT 0)

How do I explain depression to my boyfriend? I love him with all of my heart...He is everything to me.
I find myself sinking back into a depression. I have been of medication for a year now. I thought I would be o.k. I have a wonderful guy, and no reason for sadness.
It's really bad, because He does not understand depression, and thinks maybe there is something lacking for me in our relationship. This makes it really hard for me, because I'm suffering with depression symtoms, and I worry that He thinks that He can't make me happy. What does one do?

Posted 2/14/2007 5:14 PM (GMT 0)
It is what it is. I can't even explain it to myself, let alone anyone else. Maybe try taking your bf along to your doctor appointment? Sorry I couldn't be more help...
Posted 2/14/2007 5:19 PM (GMT 0)
It's very hard for loved ones to understand the pain of depression. Certainly, he should try and do some research on the internet and I think joining you for a few counseling sessions would be great too.
Posted 2/14/2007 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
It's so very difficult when our loved ones take our depression personally - like it's their fault. Depression isn't feeling "sad" or "angry" at someone else in our lives - it is so much more! I'm so very sorry that your boyfriend doesn't understand your situation, but then, people who have never suffered from depression can never really "get it" and we can only forgive them and be happy that they don't suffer from it as well. All you can do is keep telling him it's not anything HE is doing or not doing - it's your body chemistry, and you are doing everything you can to treat it. FamilyGuy and Geebs make excellent points in suggesting you bring your BF along to one of your appointments. Sometimes people understand better when speaking to a Professional - even though it's the same things you've probably already said. You can also print out articles from the internet that may better explain the situation in a way that he can understand. Most of all - keep talking and communicating! Communicating is what relationships are all about - even the bad stuff. :-)
Posted 2/14/2007 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for everyones advice...If anyone has any idea of where I can find info, or articles that could explain this.....I would be very grateful!  I think that was a great idea to print articles that explain it in ways that would make it easy for him to understand.

 

Posted 2/14/2007 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
the best way for me to explain it to my friends, is like someone with diabetes, doesn't produce enough insulin, so for those with depression, we also have a chemical imbalance.
Hope this helps. Its really hard to explain to ourselves, much less our loved ones. Just assure him it isn't anything he is doing, and its nothing you are doing either, just something you deal with.
Best to you,
Ang
Posted 2/14/2007 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
This website has a lot of info, look under diseases and conditions at the top of the page. :-)
Posted 2/15/2007 2:15 AM (GMT 0)
Here's a couple more to look at offsite (is that allowed here?) Also, go to google.com and just type in the word depression. You'll get a gazillion links to read through. :-)

http://www.healthmaker.info/depression.html

http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artid=222
Posted 2/15/2007 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
Kaca
Talking to a loved one is very hard. They start to worry that it is something there are doing,and if it is not it is very hard for us to explain it to them.
Then you have the ones that say "snap out of it",or "it will get better. I have heard a million different comebacks,and then I don't feel like they understand.
Plus I often find that it is hard for me to explain it to someone when I don't even understand why I am feeling this way.
I guess the best way to start is telling them how you feel,and explaining that you will not always know what causes it.
It is one of the hardest things you will do.
I do agree that taking him to the doctor with you might really help.


Good Luck!
Posted 2/16/2007 4:55 AM (GMT 0)

Hey Kaca,

First thing I would do would be to call up your doctor and get back on some meds to even out the rough spots.  Explain to your boyfriend that Depression is a physical disease, caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.  For some reason, your brain chemistry is not working correctly and you need medication(s) to correct the imbalance.  It affects your emotions and behavior, but is not caused by it.  Your boyfriend is no more at fault for your imbalance than I am.  The condition will not go away, but can be controlled with the proper medication.  Make it clear that no one is at fault, no more so than if someone gets cancer.  It happens.  When it does happen, it affects your moods, which nobody else has any control over.  You just have to keep reminding your BF that he is NOT responsible for your moods, good or bad.  Just make sure you are extremely careful taking your medication exactly as prescribed and things should get better.

Keep us updated.

Leigh Ann cool

Posted 2/16/2007 9:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kaca..Welcome to HW tongue

As you have found out there are heaps of wonderful and supportive people here to help..lucky us!

If we had broken our arm we would wear a plaster cast and everyone would know what was wrong and act accordingly - but with depression there is no outward symptom for people to see (unless they are really smart lol) so it's hard for them to understand at first esp. our nearest and dearest.

Are you taking meds for depression? If not I think a visit to the doctor could be a wise idea...also a dose of counselling might be good idea for both you and your BF.

Maree

 

Posted 2/16/2007 9:59 AM (GMT 0)
Hi ~ Welcome to Healing Well.   I agree with familyguy ~ maybe taking your boyfriend to your doctors appt would help.  When I was really ill, my boyfriend researched depression and anxiety so he could understand better.  There are some great resources on this site about depression.   People have to remember that depression is an illness ~ we don't ask for it, and we don't need a reason to feel depressed.  We don't ask for illness like cancer, so why should we ask for depression.  I think that there is more understanding about mental illness than there used to be ~ I just wish the stigma about it would disappear altogether.   Take care and keep in touch.  You are always welcome to post here, we are always here to listen and advise where we can x
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