karenb said...
Yes, Wellbutrin is somewhat energizing, but it is usually not the best option when anxiety is present. However, antidepressant's effect is hardly predicted, as everyone is different.
Actually, the more I think about
it the more I'm beginning to think my Social Anxiety is not so much true anxiety as it is anti-social depression. I'm not afraid of people. I have no problem talking to someone when it's not a social call and I know what I'm there for (e.i. negotiating with a car salesman). I just don't like to socialize because I feel I never have anything interesting to talk about
. Because of this I feel awkward when conversations turn to me, or when that horrible lull in the conversation occurs. Often I don't participate in conversations but just sit on the side and listen to others, talking only if someone talks to me directly. This makes me feel like people think I am boring, depressed, or find them boring ... all of which is probably true. If my depression causes a lack of interest in things and life it's hard to make conversation that isn't fake. I don't like to be fake. So I am honest or cut it short if my answers would be negative. For example, if someone asks me what I think of the recent news about
the female celebrity who's going to jail and I don't have anything to say other than, I don't really give a darn if she goes or not, I usually just give a shrug or say I don't know about
it. That's not a great way to carry on a conversation so the conversation dies. This happens repeatedly and they think I'm boring and soon quit talking to me. Or I listen to my coworkers at lunch going on and on about
some new movie coming out, like Spider Man 3. They'll ask, "Hey, did you see that new SM3 trailer? It looks awesome!" I'll just say, "yeah" while thinking silently to myself, "I don't go to movies, so I don't care." Conversation dies. They think I'm boring, move on to the next person at the table. It's easier to just go sit by myself than to try and pretend to be interested in things I'm not. If I could lift the depression and actually get some pleasure out of life, find some interests that actually excite me, I might find I actually enjoy talking about
the things others enjoy talking about
. At least some things. Right now there is NOTHING I can get excited about
talking about
. Thus, social situations get uncomfortable for me because I either have to sit there silently knowing I'm the bump on the log, or try to force myself to fake it, neither of which makes me relish social situations. So is that true Social Anxiety? Or is that just anti-social behavior resutling from depression?