3+ years with depression

I am very sorry about what your going through.  I wonder if you had ever experianced depression symptoms before your mother and grandmother passed way?  Granted, this can certianly cause depression and if you hadnt sought treatment afterward it most likely spirled out of controled over time.  Some people are able to learn how to control some of their symptoms of Dep. and eventually go without medicaitons but that isnt easy and in no way do they consider themselves cured. Then you have others who claim that they "beat depression" which I believe would have been more like a situational depression instead of Major Depression or another class along these lines. 

As for me I have had major depression for years and it hasnt gone away, it is always there under the surface creaping around.  I have been on one form of antidepressant or another for over 16 yrs.  However, my depression is due to childhood abuse and despite counseling these issues for me will always be there.

I do hope for you though that if you get some counseling for the loss of your loved one's it may be beneficial for your recovery through this. 

Please do keep posting here this site can be very supportive and informational.  take care

Hi Sour Kraut,

I lost my mother when I was 22 (I'm 58). Her death was my first death. In 6 months after her death, I lost my grandfather, divorced, and lost my job. Sounds familiar doesn't it? I got therapy back then and was lucky to find a good therapist right off the bat.

What helped me most was group therapy. I realized I wasn't the only one going through really tough times. Until then, I felt I was the only one and I felt so alone.

I remember one session that really got to me, and when I dealt with it, helped me a lot. Someone in the group asked "If your mother was alive, what would she want for you right now?" I remember crying my eyes out because I knew she would want the best for me and would want me to have a happy life. I'm tearing up now thinking about that moment. I'm still touched deeply by that question.

I decided then I was going to beat my depression because that's what mom would have wanted. I got back to deciding what I wanted out of life and going for it. I went back to college and got a degree. I had always felt like a person who should have graduated college and I had dropped out. I say all this to prompt you to think about what you want for your future and to then... go for it.

I know how hard it is to go for things when feeling depressed. I literally had to take things one step at a time. When I say one step at a time, I remember telling myself, "Just get out of bed. Don't think about anything else, just get out of bed." Once I got out of bed, I thought, "Now just take a shower." And so on. Obviously I was very depressed.

It took a while, it was difficult, but I got my degree while working a full time job. I kept setting goals, both small ones (daily ones) and more long term. It helped me, it might help you.

The day that turns your life around will be the day you say, "I've had it" and start making some plans to move forward. Or it might be the day you decide, "I'm going to fight to keep my wife." If you make that decision, tell your wife, "Your husband is on his way back." Ask her to give you time and to work with you to reach that goal... and much more. Plan a new life with your wife that gives you both something to look forward to.

I truly wish you the best. Keep in mind that direction determines destination. Decide on the destination you want to arrive at, set your direction toward that destination, work hard and make it happen.

Ed

Thank you for all your advise.  I just spent 13 days in the hospital.  I guess I am lucky that I did not cause liver damage. 

I have learned so much about my illness during those days.  I have major depression and post traumatic stress disorder from seeing my mother dead on the floor at her home.  It is a daily image I see several times a day.

I am trying to make very small goals and move forward, but the anger my family has towards me is almost unbearable.  On some levels I understand their feeling, but I am also confused by having to separate an go on my own when everyone is telling me I need my family around.  Then I am told I am being selfish since I am not letting them heal with time alone. 

When you go from being very successful in business, have the best woman in the world as a best friend, wife and the mother of two kids, to a total failure in all aspects of life it is a tremendous burden.  To hear her describe her anger and resentment it really hurts. 

Can family members overcome those feeling as well?

Sour Kraut          

Hey Sour, I am sorry but I had to edit part of your post due to forum rule #1. no discussion of self harm.  I do hope you understand.

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 5/17/2007 9:51:21 AM (GMT-6)

Thank you all for the advise you have shared.  I will keep learning about this illness that I have and hope to beat it one day.