Why blame neurology/yourself for depression? Blame life/circumstance!

Hi Puffy
Welcome to the board, I am very glad that you found us.
That is quite the outlook,I understand alot of your thoughts on this..is that something that just came to you?

Shy

I don't really think it's fair to say that though. That's like telling someone to just "suck it up and get over it" and that they're only depressed because they're not trying, and sometimes that just isn't the case. A lot of us know what we COULD do to make it better or what the problem is but we just CAN'T change it. It's a lot easier said than done when you're not the one with the problem...

Sorry if that came off as rude, I didn't mean it to.

Hi Puffy,

You make a good point in as much as there is more to depression than simply neurology or self-blame. Circumstances can also be responsible (Such as divorce, berevement etc...) but you also have to remember that some people who suffer from depression dont always look at the world the same way as others. Sometimes there can be warped perceptions. Thats just my 2 penny worth.

Warm Wishes

Darren

Els I agree with you 100% !!!!!!!

 

Puffy2 I have to say I disagree with you completely. I never once thought I was the cause of my own depression. I've always been confused by it, because when I'm depressed, I don't know why. But I have bipolar depression so that could be why I feel different.

I don't look a life and say "this & that" has me depressed. Actually I say quite the opposite. I have everything I could want and yet I still get depressed. It's very frusterating. For me though it is usually followed by a week or so of being manic.

 

For me depression is just an overwhelming feeling throughout my entire body. I can't pinpoint what causes it. If it were that easy I would just fix that one thing. Or I'd just go out and buy a self help book and be cured.

 

Sorry, but I don't think it works that way.

 

Zomese

Okay guys, upon reading your posts, I see your points. I guess what I really meant to say was, I encountered MANY people in life who were either, lazy, in some pain, but more or less just had really low self esteem, didn't believe in themselves, couldn't rise up to either intellectual/physical/school related/work related/bill related pressures, so they opted out for saying they had things wrong with them, as an excuse for their inability to perform in life.

True depression can seriously hinder you and your abilities, but there are also many phonies out there who are just ashamed of their inability to do things, so they blame it on something else, and that's just really annoying.

I agree with you guys, and didn't mean to categorize ALL of you under the same boat, just under MY experience with people with depression, many of them have just bene phony.

You are also right when it comes to, your depression has a huge role how you see the world around you.

I did suffer from depression/anxiety and asthma, but I bounce back and forth. I realize when I'm depressed what it is, and I usually try my b est to get active, drink coffee, take certain meds, just basically speed myself up, so that I avoid the sad, down, slow part of the depression, and how it affects my mood.

Depression/Anxiety/Neurology is a very tricky, complicated thing, and I am in no shape, way or form, qualified to make such bold statements and pass them off as fact, but I guess we're allowed to state how we feel on these boards.

I just think though that our understanding and treatment of these things is very new still, and many of the therapies just don't cut it.

I was watching the movie "one flew over the cuckoo's nest" yesterday with Jack Nicholson, and if you guys haven't seen it, it's about his character who is deemed "Crazy" and put in a nuthouse, with other people who are crazy. He's actually normal, but a bit of a bad boy, many of the other inmates however are "Crazy", to a degree, because you can actually SEE their impairment.

There's a point to this! lol.

When I saw this movie for the first time, several years ago when I was depressed, and I guess younger/had less imput, I thought the hospital staff/Nurse Ratchet ( who were pretty much extremely authoritative/evil and in the end gave Nicholson's character a lobotomy for being violent), I thought they were criminal and I thhought these institutions and treatments were very wrong and horrible.

Now I saw things from a different perspective. THe staff and Nurse Ratchett, may come across as mean, but that's only as a direct result from the actions of the members of the hospital. They were never mean just for the hell of it, and if they were it was to a small degree that all of us, as humans, have the potential to be.

I saw the crazy people for what they were, actually had problems, (sorry to use the word crazy here, I just really am typing fast and want to get my point across.).

In the past I thought, YAY for the mentally insane, and NAY for the hospital stafff. They were authority and since I felt I could relate to the depressed I thought we were the good guys, they were just trying to destroy our spirits/souls.

Now I see that was never the case. The Hospital Staff had a grip on reality, the way things ran, the government, institutions, their own responsibility for the patients, and their own responsibility to try to keep them calm and "help" them, and if that wasn't an option, to treat them to at least be "calm" in a safe environment that's away from general society, which they're incapable of being in.

It's funny how depression/anxiety/ and other neurological disorders affect your perception.

When people ask, "how do you know what's real and normal from what's not?"

Well we don't really have a choice. It basically comes down to, we have a real world out there going on, and if you're unable to grasp it, know things about it, function in it, and what not, then you're the one with the problem, not the world. That's basically reality. Now, the world itself is a crazy/hectic/complicated place, and just because you may n ot be able to function in it doesn't make you the bad guy, but that's the guidelines by which they go by.


When you're "Crazy" not many people will see or feel what you're going through, aside from the other members who also have your condition, that's why it's SO hard to relate to the un-depressed.

Puffy2, Darren has been very kind in his reply to you here. I understand you mean no intentional disrespect in your posts here but I think you do need to know that they are offencive. Your just stating your opinion regarding depression/anxiety and what your experiences have been (with others or yourself) however, do realize that your perspective is not appropriate to post here on this forum. As Darren said this forum is for info and support.

You stated: "Anyways, I also believe that many people are simply hypochondriacs, and love coming on these boards. Well, that's not leading a normal life, I'm sorry it really isn't. I just think we all have to get used to really living with depression, and still leading a "normal" life and not coming on here all day long." I just have to say that I spent a good 10 minutes reading your posts on this one thread...if you don't think posting here is productive for people (as they will continue to ponder their illnesses, no matter if they are depressed or "hypochondriacs" as you catorigize it) then I have to wonder why you take so much time to post on this site? Do you think your comments are going to make someone just "snap out" of it or that they are helping?

Words can be a very effective weapon and those of us who seek mutual support on this forum take great care with those words we choose to post here. We are not going to debate about depression, who has it, why, how they manage it or what we personally think/feel regarding it. This just simply isn't productive to HW or anyone who suffers with this disorder. So, if you are unable to contribute to this forum in a positive manner then please don't post.

If you feel so strongly about this, why don't you hop on over to the Bipolar thread and tell them that their depression is just inconsequential and that you "think it's pathetic that people with depression choose to NOT lead any type of a life, and spend their whole lives fighting their "illness" even though they're getting the best treatment their own money can buy."

Puffy 2,
What can I say to you that has not already been said?
1. IMHO you are biased and I feel you have made some very hurtful comments in your lengthy posts.
2. I am an advocate for mental health and it is difficult to know if you are?
The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support. Debating controversial subjects or opinions should be taken elsewhere.
I am sorry if this sounds judgemental as it is not intended to but I just don't know exactly what your purpose is with the lengthy posts.
Sincerely
Kitt

Puffy,

I don't have depression but my wife does. And bad things generally passed us by and we had a good, easy life with a wonderful family and a great child. My wife did not choose to become depressed and her life is much the worse for being depressed. You seem to have started your thread by saying "suck it up, life happens!".

If only it were that easy. My wife's experience is humbling. She was/is a high powered advertising exec, she was/is an awesome mother and is the love of my life. Today, she is an angry, vituperous person who has lost touch with what used to be important and is lashing out at everyone who loves her. This is not a choice for her, she can't see or think of any other way to deal with the way she feels right now. And at the end of all of this, I have no clue whether or not she'll want to be with me.

Yes, depression is hard to diagnose and, from reading these forums, those with depression do have the propensity to deny their condition. There's also a archaic societal stigma attached to mental illness that is wrong and short sighted. In New Zealand, they have a campaign to increase awareness of mental illness called www.outoftheblue.org.nz . Trying to destigmatise depression and other mental illnesses is important so that more people get help without fear of judgement. People can be part of that destigmatisation or they can keep up the old view that it's a choice and life happens.

I'd recommend you see professional if you want diagnosis. These forums have been a huge help to people like me who are affected by depression, either directly or indirectly.

You do have a choice. If you're depressed, you didn't choose that but you can choose how you relate to everyone else and discuss your issues. Everyone else here has taken their time to support people they don't even know, just like me.


Lastly, as Voltare said, "I may not like what you say but I'll defend with my life your right to say it". However, this is not the right outlet to vent your views, just as the gas station forecourt is not the right place to light a cigarette. This place is where people like me come to seek help and support.