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Posted 9/6/2007 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
A BIG HUG RIGHT BACK AT CHA SHY!!!!  You being a moderator shows how much you care for others in pain too, just as you have helped me with your wonderful support.  You are a very special person, and I hope you end up with all that life has to give you sweets!  We will get through the dark times, all of us, holding hands, one step at a time and together we will all be okay!

 

Hugs back to you!

sophiabella

Posted 9/6/2007 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
Shy,
I am sorry are in this situation, this has to be painful. Please keep going to therapy for as long as it is working for you, and you feel that your therapist is helping you. Anything worth having is worth working for, that includes peace of mind. You are on the right tract for you and there isn't a whole lot you can do for him except take darn good care of yourself. The same thing goes for your daughter, unless she has some midigating circumstances that we don't know about. She is an adult now and unless she is unable to care for herself (handicap in some way) or has some major life situations there is only so much you can do. 
Hugs!
Navy
Posted 9/6/2007 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
It takes a very special person to deal with what your dealing with , yet , set that aside to try and comfort people you don't even know here on this forum. You are an angel , my friend....
Posted 9/6/2007 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
Sophia
I hope that you too end up happy and able to wake up everyday and smile. You are on the right track that is for sure.

Navy,It does work for me and I plan on going for as long as I can. Or at least until I am "cured" HA

Fisher,
Thank you for your kind words,this site is filled with so many people that care it just amazes me!

Shy
Posted 9/7/2007 5:53 AM (GMT 0)

Shy,

I agree with you, I am really glad Sbella is on this forum with us.

We are all here for you, to listen whenever you need us, just because you're a moderator doesn't mean you're not one of us.

Big hugs!

Carla

Posted 9/7/2007 11:29 AM (GMT 0)
Thank You Carla!


((((((Hugs))))))) back to you.


Shy
Posted 9/9/2007 12:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Shy,

I hope things are going a little better for you at the moment. I guess I wanted to reply because I kind of feel the same way (without the relationship problems!). I too am coming up to my three year anniversary of being off my meds, after being on them for nearly 10 years and the year following coming off them was really hard. It was as if I didn't know how to deal with any 'adult' emotions and like I constantly had to keep looking over my shoulder wondering if 'it' was going to come back. Now I feel angry and defensive the majority of the time, even at the most insignificant things that I know don't really matter. I know that I am a strong and intelligent woman who is no longer depressed and I have a fantastic life filled with everything that I could ever ask for so I just don't understand.

I don't want this 'me' to be the result of all of my battles but I don't know how to fix it. I try to find the lesson in everything that I go through and this one still eludes me; it is still the only thing that makes me cry every time I think about it. Maybe the lesson is that there isn't always a lesson to find in life's experiences.

So on some level, I kind of understand how you feel; I guess it was naive of me to think that it would all stop the minute the meds did. It's comforting to know that I am not the only one who feels like this, even though I wish neither of us had to.

Take care Shy,
Kate
Posted 9/9/2007 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kate
I hate it,don't you? Ugh,if only we had a magic potion!


You take care too

Shy
Posted 9/9/2007 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
Shy,

I was reading all the posts and a few things keep popping in my head. You talked about how he talks about ex's and stuff. I can't help but to wonder if you fit his pattern from the past, especially since his "family" doesn't want to lose you. I'm so glad you decided to vent because keeping all this inside you is just no good. I also think it is a good thing you are 2nd guessing the marriage thing because if he's this way now, I just don't see him changing.  You are a whole person. You're responsible, compassionate, and most of all you are sincere. The kissing of your butt isn't gonna last honey, it's just to smoothe you over right now. Also, financially, I understand the going halves part, but I always thought when you are in a relationship money shouldn't be such an issue. For example, let's say you went for icecream. Do you have to pay half or can he just pay for it and it's not a big deal? That may be a poor example but I think you get the point. Just please consider and reconsider anything you decide. My heart goes out to you honey and I  hope the very best for you. You have a long row to hoe, but I think in the end you will do what it best for you. Stay strong.

Many Blessings,

Bionca

Posted 9/9/2007 6:33 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Shy,

I am sorry your in a tough spot right now and how painful it is for you. Just know you have my support and prayers,  you are one of the best so never give up and keep on with therapy. 

Keep moving foward, and you will find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Remember all your mod buddies are here for you too and as someone already said, Moderators are just members with problems too.  Please know your feelings are validated here and everywhere on Healing Well.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted 9/10/2007 11:32 AM (GMT 0)
Bionca
It is weird,somedays he pays for everything,other days we are going halves. I am a very independant person,and make sure I pay half of most things. I would think that would stick in his mind.But sometimes he forgets,or just wants to be a butthead.
I got even I think with my meltdown last weekend. And I gently reminded him this weekend too. I just wanted to make sure he understood why I was upset.


Kitt,thank you for your kind words. I have been through so much worse,and know I can make it through this no matter what happens.

I sometimes wonder why I even bother at all. I was not unhappy all of the time living alone that is for sure.

But,I need to focus on getting a better job so that I can stand on my own two feet before I make any rash decisions right now. I am working on that everyday.


Shy
Posted 9/10/2007 2:03 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Shy,

Thinking of you and you will find the job. Just stay focused and keep reading all the support posts here.  With this much love, your bound to be surround by good vibes.

Hugs to you my friend.

Posted 9/10/2007 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know you and am simply a person with clinical depression, but having been in a corner myself, I feel that you need to get away!  I mean, a day or two at least all by yourself.  Denying myself any free time contributed to my breakdown in a big way!  God bless!

Posted 9/10/2007 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
I agree GHBU2 time away is much needed.
By the way welcome to the forum!

Kitt,as usual you are a blessing!


Shy
Posted 9/10/2007 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi shy,

I will make this quick because I am in the middle of a nightmare.  I hope all is going better for you than when we last spoke.  As u know my hubby died last week, and they took my depression post off, can u email me and let me know why since your the moderator?  I am so very alone, please cntct me if you can okay!

 

Hugs,

sbella

Posted 9/10/2007 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Sbella, it was taken down because the lines were really long and didn't fit the screen. Scroll down and you will see the topic called "For Sophiabella." That's where your post is being picked up.

Sherrine
Posted 9/10/2007 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
Shy,I have been where you are & I finally got a belly full & told him to get out & don't come back.He paid for the divorce too.Didn't need the agravation,anger,hatefullness.I have a good man now he treats me like a queen.There's a good man out there for you too,it will happen.
Posted 9/10/2007 11:41 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Shy,

I want you to know that I am here to listen and you need to vent just as often as us, noone is perfect and you are not expected to not have life issues we all do.  I am really sorry about your situation, I know that you deserve the best and it really sounds like your doing all the work in this relationship and financial reasons are not reasons to not get married.  I have not been financially able to support us much with surgeries and I have been going back to school my husband knew what has been happening the whole time and still stands by me.  You are worth a lot and you do not deserve to be treated this way.  Abuse comes in many fors and being taken advantage of, is abuse as well.  I just hope that you do whatever is truly going to make you happy and it will all work itself out.  I send prayers your way and wish you clarity in this time.  Hugs.......

Posted 9/11/2007 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
Afloat
I agree totally with you. I was married for 13 years to a very mean man. So I do know the signs and will not stay if it gets bad believe me.
I will say that he is jaded from his past relationships just like I am,so working together we will be ok I think.


Thanks everyone for your support.

Shy
Posted 9/11/2007 3:35 AM (GMT 0)
I believe someone in this thread said it wouldn't be a good idea to meet with your BF's ex. But I heard someone who was an expert on relationships and I can't remember who it was, say that this is a good idea.

I, personally, feel someone who talks about his ex-girlfriends must be awfully insecure and/or needing you to be an insecure person.
Posted 9/11/2007 6:31 PM (GMT 0)
Shy,

Just make sure number one is o.k. you, if you need meds or a little vacay, whatever it is you need just pay attention to your inner being and listen to yourself and all will work it's way out. My thoughts are with you....Hugs...
Posted 9/12/2007 2:06 AM (GMT 0)

Shy,

I just wish you the very best.  I know you will work everything out.  Is it possible for you to take a long weekend with some girlfriends?  That's always fun and sounds like something you could use right now.

Hugs!

Carla

Posted 9/12/2007 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
I am actually doing that this weekend. Just with my best friend,but that way I can vent and hear what she has to say.

Always good!


Shy
Posted 9/12/2007 7:28 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Shy,

You have had a very challenging week here on the boards yet you still have the time to share and care for everyone.  I am right here for you kiddo.

This week end just have fun, laugh a lot, maybe shed a few tears but most of all take care of you.

Gentle Hugs

Posted 9/12/2007 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Kitt
Hey the good thing about the board is that it takes your mind off of your own problems.



Shy
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