New and need some hope

Hi.  I have been depressed my whole life, atleast 30 years.  I have never felt as bad as I do now though.  I have tried every medication out there and am afraid either my Dr. will give up or that there just isnt any hope.  I have delt with the depression in the past, by being able to work atleast.  The problem now is that I just dont care.  I am not happy or sad just blah.  I am currently unemployed, first time ever and I dont care.  I want to care, I want to have some feeling.  It seems like my thought process is all messed up.  I cant even think about getting work or finding work.  I am just so frusterated.  I am tired of hearing that there will be an end to this eventually.  I dont even know why I am posting this, I know there is nothing that can make me feel better.

Hi Pam
First of all I want to welcome you to the forum,I am very glad that you found us and I am sure you will find the support that you are looking for.

Depression hits us hard,and we don't see a way out. No light at the end of the tunnel..and why should we bother right?

Well, for one.. do you want to continue feeling like this for the rest of your life? Do you want to forget about your dreams,and your family?
Those are questions that you have to ask yourself..is this all of the life that you want?
Probably not.
It is a fight to get over depression,but it is a fight that is worth it. You can't give up. And your doctor will not give up on you.
I had to take several different types of meds before I found the one that worked for me. Alot of people have to do that. It is very frustrating and we want to just feel better simple as that.
Are you going to counseling? I benefited so much from facing what triggered my depression in the first place. Believe me though,it was no picnic. And I was scared to death the first time. But she knew what questions to ask,and she made me feel very comfortable.
Whatever you do,do not give up. Use this board to vent. We are here and we all understand.

Shy