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Posted 1/16/2008 4:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone,

I see spirits. I used to see them every night and have nightmares because of it, but now it is just an occasional thing. I was a huge part of my life for years. If you google Shadow People and imagine Donnie Darko seeing them instead of the rabit, you would have a really good idea about what I was like.

I don't feel like anyone can help me. I don't want to take drugs that will affect my dreams or what I sense. I've had good experiances as well and it is a part of who I am. I'm convensed that if I wasn't such an upset person, what I see would be a lot more pleasant. If I talk about things with a psycologist, they immediately want me on some kind of drug.

I feel like nothing I do has any affect. I can't get ahead. I can't seem to find the place I'm looking for. I feel like an outsider everywhere. I wish I could just sit here and be happy alone.

Posted 1/16/2008 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cranes Idea,

Welcome to the Healing Well Depression Forum.

Do you think that you are depressed?

Are you afraid of what you see?

Are your nightmares of what you see?

What is it that you are looking for?

We are here to help you if you have any questions.

hugs,

Karen
Posted 1/16/2008 4:48 AM (GMT 0)

I know I'm depressed. It is hard for me to focus on my hobbies. I just want to sleep all the time. I'm so frustrated.

Last night I had this dream that was a mix of some movies and cartoons... but in it a bunch of zombies came back to life and I had to fight them off with a sword. It sounds like I just watch to many movies if it wern't for the fact that I was thinking about trying to ignore spirits before I went to sleep and how oddly gross and bothersome the dream was...

I'm not afraid of it... I'm more afraid of what it can do to me, like not give me any rest or disturb me or potentially startle me... not that the last part is likely, but there is kinda a suspense.

I don't know. I just want peace at work, a girl that cares about me, not to feel so much pressure... some success in life. I have to struggle for everything. I'm tired.

Posted 1/16/2008 10:19 AM (GMT 0)

Hi there and Welcome to HealingWell!

Im going to stick my neck out here at the risk of having it broken... As I see this, there are 2 possibilities (off the top of my head).

1) The spirits are visual hallucinations. This is the thing most people think of. That you are seeing things that are not really there. The main form of treatment (Certainly in the short term) is the use of neuroleptics (Such as Quetiapine/Serequol & Rispiridone) which on a very basic level, block dopamine receptor sites in the brain.

2) This is where I stick my neck out. I am not offering this as a basis for a discussion since that would not be allowed... if anyone wants to have a conversation regarding this, please email me. But I want to offer it as a possible explanation since I dont think anyone else will. It is possible that the spirits you see are ACTUALLY there. I suppose this depends on your religious stance as to whether you are currently laughing at this! I believe (like many) that there are people (and I know some) that claim to be able to see spirits (or other things such as floating blue lights which are connected to spirits). This is not something to be confused with hallucinations and is not something that I would expect ANYONE to take as fact. But I am offering it out there as an explanation.

I hope this helps you

Darren

Posted 1/16/2008 1:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Crane
I just wanted to offer my welcome to the forum.

Everyone has given you great advice,I wish you luck.
Posted 1/17/2008 12:04 AM (GMT 0)

Hello Crane and Welcome to Healing Well.  I am sorry you are feeling so depressed and hopeless at this time.  I know you do not want to try the meds but how about therapy.  You may benefit from therapy.

I hope you keep posting and let the great members of this forum help you. Take care

Posted 1/17/2008 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
/laughing There sure are a lot of moderators.

djdaz, I agree that they really are spirits.

stkitt, I'd love therapy, but my copays are high and I don't have money to burn.

Thanks all

Reason for edit:

 

I have taken your email address out for your own safety and proctection since there is software out there that scans public forums such as HW for peoples email addresses. If you wanted people to email you, all you need to do is add your email to your profile through the CONTROL PANEL at the top of your screen.

Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 1/17/2008 3:42:29 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/17/2008 1:51 AM (GMT 0)
Of course a psychologist is going to recommend medication...the first thought in their minds is that these are hallucinations, and who knows if they really even have a second thought.

Talking with a therapist is an excellent idea...I know most employers have an Employee Assistance Program that allows a certain number of visits per year, is that an option for you?

It sounds to me like the shadow people have been going on for as long as you can remember, especially since they do not cause you to be afraid. Have you ever tried communicating with them? Maybe they are coming to you for help. You said you can't find the place you are looking for and that you feel like an outsider, maybe you could start with a paranormal research place and they could help.
Posted 1/17/2008 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
Mochiah, that is kinda a spooky deep question. One time when I was suicidal, I noticed a spirit that was causing it and realized it was sad. I gave it acceptance so to speak. It seemed relieved and I never felt THAT way again. Something along those lines happened a couple times.

I just started a new job, so I doubt it. I'm trying to fly low and fast.

And yeah, it started when I was 16, at least what was visible but the first haunted things were when I was little.
Posted 1/17/2008 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
Do you only see them when your emotions are out of synch, like when you are sad, hopeless, emotional, etc.? Or do you see them at other times? I only ask because you said the spirit was sad when you were, so I thought maybe it is your way of projecting and dealing with emotions, like a poltergeist (sp?), if you will. Don't shoot me, I'm just throwing an idea out there.

Even with it being a new job, they do not know WHO uses the employee assistance, they only how many people have used it per year. And, they never know WHY you go, could be marriage counseling. So you could still be under the radar.

We can offer insight and support, but the therapists can help you sort through everything so much better (although many of us have been going to a therapist so long we think we could do their job!!!! (just kidding, of course, even when I think I know the answer to my problem the therapist will offer another that I never would have thought of... and it's usually right (darn it)).
Posted 1/17/2008 4:44 AM (GMT 0)
Mochiah, I mean it is possible. Sense I've never seen one move something, (thank god) ;) it could all be internal things. I mean, no one REALLY knows where spirits come from.

But yeah, I see the much more when I am sad, but when I'm angry I can have spirit dreams as well... and there are places I can go and sense them. Not like traditional hauntings, but there are places I'm more aware of them. I just had a big fight with my roommates and they both moved out, and I haven't been happy about that, or being alone so much... so that has something to do with it to.

It doesn't matter and it is stupid anyway. I got past most of it by closing my eyes to it and focusing on school. I'm happy it isn't a big deal anymore, just the last few nights it has been bothering me.

This is the real thing... how can you be happy and not worry? It is easy for people who are good looking, have money, and fullfilling relationships but what if you just have a lot of problems? Should I detach and try not to care, or care about something else? We are promised that we can pursue happiness, but no one promised we would find it. What if something attainable could make me happy.

Posted 1/17/2008 4:46 AM (GMT 0)
Mochiah, I just read your post close about your back pain. That is rough. I have back pain so I do exersices and things for it every day to try to keep it under control. Nothing like yours, but I can empathise with you a little. Some mornings I can hardly sit up. Are you doing better?
Posted 1/17/2008 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
Crane
That's one of the bummers about depression, we want to be left alone, but when we are then we feel lost and lonely, double edge sword I guess.

I don't think emotional things are easier for people who are good looking/have money/are in fulfilling relationships, although we folks on the opposite side of that (ya know, us ugly poor people!!) perceive it that way. Depression can stop anyone in their tracks no matter what walk of life. Sure, we can all pursue happiness, but people with depression or other conditions, I feel, have a longer road to getting there...nor, as you said, are we promised we will find it. Even if we find it (happiness) then we try working on something else that would make us happier...we are always in pursuit of what we don't have so it is a never-ending cycle.

Yeah, I have had a failed back surgery and try to exercise every day or at least do stretches I was taught to relieve the stress on the vertebrae, but a lot of days that is not even doable. So, the existence I have as a result is no fun and contributes greatly to my depression....but life goes on and I am still breathing so I try to live by my new motto in my signature line (pretend it doesn't hurt) mostly around my family. They don't need to get bummed because wife/mom is lame.
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