haven't posted for a while

haven't posted for a while some of you might remember me . i'm venting out if there is someone intrested to listen, i'm not doing terribly good things started at new years eve i gone back to smoking that night and alcohol. but since that night I haven't had any drinks yet, so far I'm just gona have alchohol when there is a party or something.

I'm sleeping more than I ever slept before, I managed to reach 48 hours.. yes of continues sleep. however last few days I'm tryign to hold it toghether. it's hard to stay awake when there is nothing to do.

in the last 6 years i have bin on and off work, 6 months ago I left my last job because I could not take it anymore, tghey stoped paying me because my performance at work is very bad because i keep getting boared and nothing to do while I am supposed to be reading or planning things, I end up wasting time thinking about nothing..

I haven't seen a doctor in a while, I'm sick of them stupid doctors, all they keep telling me is to take my medication and go do Gym. I'm tiered of Gym and people telling me what to do , I want to live a life without Gym... I just can't do it.

So i'm taking the last medication the doctor's subscribed to me , which is effexor, lithuim, lamictal, akenton, ablify, inderal. running out of lamical atm and I feel better without it actually. I have this irritation that keep comming to me where i can't stand sitting down I keep want to walk, and i'v bin trying to find out is it me or is it the medication.

I'm really boared with myself and life, and don't know what to do , I shud goto work but i know i can't handle it , because i keep sleeping and going late to work that's what I expect to happen. and yes I sleep at work sometimes. I hate driving to work as well, takes me 45 min of very intense trafic, 1 way.

thats all, please give me your thoughts, please don't descrbe me as stupid I know I am, just can't help it.

*i'v bin better*

thanks tammy, good advice indeed, my only issue is with exectution lol, i promise to do things then i neglegt and neglet, then it's in my wish list, that never seems to happen ><. I don't want to tell you the story of my life but that is what's happening to me.

my wish list is soo big ><

Hi Akram,

I am worried about you stopping your effexor cold turkey.  I don't think it is such a good idea.  I take effexor too and the abilify.  They work good for me.  But I stopped my effexor before cold turkey and it wasn't a good story.  So please have a doctor help you with that.

It sounds like you need a project or a challange.  It sounds like you got bored with your work, have you been looking for another job?  You should try to go to the gym.  Physical exercise is good for the mind and the body. 

You seem to know what it is that you need to do to get better, do you have any idea why you aren't doing them.  Alcohol makes people depressed, smoking deprives us of much needed oxygen.  That makes you tired. 

None of us do like doctors.. I get sick of going, but I have to.  I am a walking pharmacy too.  I get tired of filling the pill box every week and taking the pills every day but we have to in order to function.

You have taken a big step by telling us what is going on in your life, that means you want help.  We can be here for you whenever you need, but please see a doctor too.  And be careful with your medications.

Keep us posted.

hugs,

Karen