Need somone to talk to

Hi everyone, first of all I am usually in the lupus group. docs and I have been trying for a long time to put a name to my illness. In the mean time I am beginning to feel the side effects of the depression of this illness in a major way. I will tell you first off the my family suffers from depression. I myself do not feel suicidal if for no other reason than that my brother commited suicide when he was 29 and it about killed my parents. I could never put them through that again , on that I'm am certain!. I'm 50 years old and a widow for 8 years. My only child lives 1000 miles away and is 70% disabled from the iraq war. So he has enough trouble taking care of himself. Lupus can cause anxiety and depression so I am on 1mg of xanax and 150mg of effexor.

So that's  a little background of me. I am on disability for COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.) doctors give me 10 years to live. I'm actually ok with that because hey we could all be dead by than. I was just put on medicaid and they have a counselor I can go see that they will pay for so I am considering that.

So here are my questions

1. is effexor a good drug for depresion? 2 does depression make you forget things? I worry that I will not get my bills paid. I forget to turn the stove off more than normal people would. somone will tell me somthing and I will forget what they said within a few miniutes. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and completely loose what I was saying. I don't tend to cry very much is that normal with depression? I'm always afraid I'm gonna screw somthing up.

Is any of this stuff related to depression or is it from the autoimmune disease?

anything you can tell me to shed some light would be a blessing to me.

thank you for listening

carol

Hi Karen, thank you for the kind words and welcome. I've actually been tested for fibro and they said I didn't have the point for it. As for the lupus they aren't sure of that either. All they do know is that somthing is wrong. My blood work is ANA's up to 1:2560 which is incridibly high plus anemia and a lot of other weird test results. It can take 10 years to have everything manifest to make them come up with a lupus diagnosis. So from what you're saying the effexor and xanax no matter what it is are good drugs for me to be on. Does counseling help? Are there certain types of counselors that are better than others? Regardless of what this disease is it's really hard to fight it when you have no energy to fight it with. I know about the walking in a room and forgetting why I'm there too. Things have gotten to the point that when I meet somone for the first time medical or nurse or somone like that I have to let them know off the bat that if it's not written down I will forget it. I feel like I have alzheimer or somthing. Your right though I got alot on my mind. They have put me on a home care program two to three times a week because the pain and confusion is so bad that living alone is the last step before nursing home. How could I be so healthy and strong and quick witted to one step closer to a nursing home? Do people get depressed all of the sudden or is it gratual or what? I tried to find some of the answers on here but I'm having a hard time locating what I'm looking for. Plus it's not the same as talking to people who have been there/done that. ya know? Plus I have to reread everything so many times to get it to sink in.
I'm sorry I don't mean to keep going on and on I just want to fight back and I don't know how.
hugs
carol

Hi Carol,

Effexor and xanax works really well for me, but it isn't always the best for others.  If you are feeling better though, chances are it will help you.  Just never, ever try to go off of it without having your doctor gradually cut you down.  It is a horrible experience to go cold turkey.  The fibro tenderpoints aren't always there everytime they are checked.  I guess I would rather see you have fibro than lupus.  But that is up to the doctors to determine.

I am sorry about the copd.  Were you a smoker?  I smoke and I know that I have to quit.  I have tried so many times.  But with all the nasty stuff that they put in the cigarettes now, it is hard.  You know the lack of oxygen could be adding to your thinking problems.  But I suffer from that, I can get introduced to a person and forget there name in an instant.  I hate that.

I see a psycologist, but I have had good social workers and other types of therapists.  It helps me.  The psycologists seem to be more perceptive, but just having someone to vent to and bounce things off of is therapeudic.  So yes, if you can I would talk to somebody.  And remember you have us here.  We can give you different experiences and ways to look at things.  But an objective counselor would help you too.  They can help you set small goals to take your mind off of things.  And cognitive therapy helps you to focus and clear your mind so that you are in the now. And not leaving the stove on LOL.  Be careful with that.  I use to be so bad that when I did dishes, I had to take each dish and say out loud,'I am washing a bowl, I will rinse the bowl and put it in the rack'.  If I didn't do that I was dropping things, and getting really frustrated.  So try to slow your mind down, write things down on a piece of paper so you can put them out of your mind and not have to worry about forgetting them.  That works for me.

I wish you a wonderful relaxing day.

Luv and hugs,

Karen