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I've lost all sense of reality

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Posted 2/27/2008 4:15 AM (GMT 0)
I think I've reached a point in which I dont even know what to do anymore. I can't stop crying. My family makes me so depressed that I can't stand it anymore. I feel so hopeless I really hit a new low. I dont want to do any of my schoolwork anymore, I'm falling behind, i work way more that I can even handle between that and school.

I felt like being spontaneous...I just spent a bunch of money on train tickets to go away for the weekend, but I'm scheduled to work. Now I'm terrified to death to go in and ask my boss if I can have the weekend off because what if she's says no? I'll lose my money and my friends will be relaly mad at me for bailing out. I dont even know what to say...what should I say?

I'm so scared now of losing my job and/or failing one or more classes at school. I just wonder sometimes what happened to me....

I dont know what happiness is or feels like, and if I do, I don't remember at all. I'm stuck where I'm at and I have no way of getting out of anything. I need help.

Posted 2/27/2008 4:31 AM (GMT 0)

Hi BTE,

It sounds like you are in the process of going somewhere and I don't mean on the train.  I mean with your work and school.  Why did you buy the tickets if you knew that you might have to work and that you need to study?  You are working on a project and I think that the vacation comes after the semester.  Can you get your money back on the tickets?  Was there something special that you were going to do?  If so maybe you should of asked for the days off in advance. 

If you can't get the time off and go on the trip anyway, you know that you will lose your job most likely.  So I guess that is up to you.  Do you have other means of support?  Can you afford to lose this job?  If not, I suggest you get a refund on the tickets.  If you lose your job you will probably become even more depressed.  Was this an impulse?  These are the only options that I can come up with.  Let me know what you decide.

If you are getting burnt out, maybe you can cut back on some hours or a class to lighten up the load.

hugs, Karen

Posted 2/27/2008 11:49 AM (GMT 0)

Hi there BTE,

Can you recognise when these impulsive episodes are going to happen? The first thing is to decide where you are going at the weekend... are you going away or are you working? If you are going away then you need to clear it with your boss. If you are working, then you need to try and get your money back on the tickets... look at the small-print on the agreement to see what it says about refunds. I think it is important to regain some control over what is happening at the moment, which involves looking at some of your motivations behind the behaviours. Have you considered CBT? This is something you can talk to your physician about. Please make your schoolwork a priority though... it will help you in the future.

Darren

Posted 2/27/2008 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
well the purpose of me going away this weekend is to look at a school i want to transfer to. so im putting my school priorities first. im just nervous now...

i go to therapy but i havent mentioned this yet. i cant really determine when these sudden impulsive eps happen but theyre happening quite a bit lately...
Posted 2/27/2008 5:21 PM (GMT 0)

I think before you do anything, decide what you are doing this weekend. Working or Travelling. Once you have decided, it will make it much easier to work out what the consequences will be.

Darren

Posted 3/2/2008 5:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Bte,

Was just wondering how things worked out this weekend. Did you go and look at school or did you go to work. How did it end up. Curious, I guess.
Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/2/2008 10:15 AM (GMT 0)

Hi BTE,

I, too was wondering how you got on this weekend and what you did? I hope everything worked out well... whatever it was that you did.

Darren

Posted 3/2/2008 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
I am worried about you also BTE... I hope things went well..we are waiting to hear from you.
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