hating life...

Hey Confused,

I wonder who's reputation your mom is trying to protect - her's or your's? I've never heard of anyone hiding someone's car because they took a semester off from grad school. A ton of people do it! Heck, I flunked out of undergrad and lived at home for a semester! I mean it sounds like she'll be embarassed if anyone finds out that she failed at being the perfect mother. Plus, it puts her in control of who knows your home and who doesn't. It definitely sound ridiculous to me. Plus, it must make you feel miserable, since you have to play hide and seek in your hometown!

I can understand that you don't want to disappoint your parents, but at some point you must live your own life and they must let go. It sounds like your parents have a great deal of control over you. They are telling you to lie to you friends and family about whether or not your home. They are limiting your access to a viable support system. And I would imagine that they are trying to manipulate the way you think about these things so that you think they are looking out for your best interest, since you can not. But, in reality, you know what you need. You just need to listen to yourself and dig down deep to find your voice and find what you need to be happy. Not what others want you to become. Please don't let them run your life. You already sound unhappy, don't let them dictate who you can see and when you can see them. You are not 16 anymore. You are a grown woman who is struggling to find her way. They need to help and support you, not keep you locked up away from family and friends.

Confused
Just checking to see how you are doing..

Hello. Thank you for asking. I am doing ok. I am supposedly on "spring break this week" so I told one of my friends I was here at home for the week. I went out to dinner with her last night and it was fun. It was nice to get out of the house and talk to a friend. I didn't tell her how I failed a class though and have been home since January because I didn't want my parents to get upset. I still don't want to disappoint them. I'm still sad I'm not in grad school at the moment and that I failed. I'm scared of going back to grad school too. I'm scared I'll fail again. Other than that, it helps to go to the psychologist and talk to him. I'm not going to be as giving and trusting guys so easily anymore. I'm feeling a little better with the Wellbutrin.

Hiya,

Its great to heat that you managed to get out and have some good quality time with your friend. Even though you couldnt tell her everything (And I understand why) it must have been nice just to get out of the house. I think the fear of failing is something a lot of students (myself included) ahave to fight on occasions, and it is harder when you are trying to make a parent/parents proud. Please hang in there though. Im sure if you were not capable of passing the course, the school would not let you do it. If the school believe in you then I see no reason why I shouldnt believe in you as well. If you can say you have done your best at the end, then passing/failing should be irrelevant to your parents.

Darren