I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

I wrote a post about an hour ago and of course this stupid computer erased the whole thing, this has been a day that i will be glad when it is over,  we are getting the storm of the century and I am snowed in.  I feel so isolated and helpless.  I was sitting here with my kitten Vegas watching a couple in a truck doing barrotes i think they are called i could see them laughing and then they got out and did something to the tires, i guess they were putting it back in 4wheel, i dont know any they started throwing snow at each other and he chased and they fell down in the snow laughing, i sat here and cried because i knew how they felt, i remember times spend all cozy under a blanket eating fudgesickles even though it was freezing outside, days like today where i couldnt go anyway if i wanted to are some of the times i miss him the most.  I am so sad, if he knew i could not get out of my drive it would be taken care of that is just how was and i would never tell him this but i wish he would take care of me, i dont mean financially just knowing that he is there for me there was so much security in my mind.  There have been some things happen since I have been here that the police have been here, nothing major.

 

Another thing that is bothering me is my kitty Vegas.  She found me on the day i got out of the hospital in august. She has not left my side for one day, well she did take a little vacation for a week and i was so sad i thought we was gone and then one day there she was again, i am not a cat person but i fell in love with vegas.  Her name came from a trip to vegas that was such a wonderful surprise and something that i never experienced such as the lights and activity, she was a surprise and i wouldnt trade the days i have with her for anything, just like those days in vegas, nothing can take those memories away, both vegas's are two of the special things in my life that i will forever keep in my heart.

 

Lstely she has not been feeling well, real whiny and she lays on her side and sticks out herright leg like it is hurting her.  If she gets worse, I dont know what i will do,it would destroy me if is really sick and dies, i lost my frogs last week about this time both my frogs and fish all died by sunday,ALL of them obviously i did something wrong, if vegas would die, i dont know what i would do, just pray for her i am going to bed here in a little bit to end this terrible day.  This was a really bad day, really bad I almost felt as bad as i did in august, i screamed and yelled and cried today and asked god to help me out here i am doing the best i can.

 

Well dont forget to turn your clocks ahead tonight. 

 

I am really worried about Vegas, please keep her in your prayers

Hi Teresa,
I hope you and your kitty are feeling better. I second what Karen said.
Take Care,
Navy

I cant believe that it is after 4 already.  Vegas is still not herself, not eating or drinking. I thought maybe she is in heat, not sure there are some other things going on with her that have me worried.

 

Today is not a good day again for me, I have been napping quite a bit, i just feel exhaused.  I need to shovel my driveway today and it is going to be really hard because of all the snow, my back has no stopped hurting since last week and this  makes it painful to shovel.  I live on a main street and there were several people out with their snowblowers.  Do you think one person would offer to help me with my drive, no.  That makes me so sad because if the shoe were on the other food, i would not think twice before offering someone help, i have always been the one that helps people all the time and i love doing it.  So i have to get out there in a little bit and start.  I have a doctors appt tomorrow and i have to get out of my drive.

 

I pray that tomorrow will be better, i cant take many more days like this.

Hey Teresa,

Hi, I am back and sorry I was not here for you but the support you received here is overwhelming.

I am sorry about Vegas, sometimes they will just have an off day. My dog will do that.

Sleep well my friend.............I am off to bed but will be here tomorrow.

Hugs

Kitt

Hi everyone,

sorry it has been a couple days since I posted.  I have been so depressed lately I dont kow what to do. It just seems like there is not a good day anymore.  I guess I am still grieving, I dont know.  It takes everything I have to pick up my computer and write.  My memory is really worrying me.  I have become so simple-minded.  I went to the store last Friday, got a few groceries. I came home and put them away. Today I went to use my whip cream with my coffee and i couldnt find it, I even stopped at the store today to see if I left it there, no.  Anothet item just vanished into mid air.

 

I went to look at cars yesterday hoping that would cheer me up, wrong thing to do, too broke, no job, NO CAR!!!!  I cant even afford a 9,000 car.  Needless to say, I was more depressed than when I started.  I dont know you guys, I dont know, I just dont know.  I cant think of the last time I laughed, really laughed.

 

Vegas is doing better, not sure but she could be in heat.  She is doing ok though.

 

I hope everyone is doing good.

Hi Teresa,

I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now. Just remember that we all care and are here for you.

Did you send out your resumes yet? Getting a new job could be so good for you.

hugs, Karen

Hi Teresa,

I really hope that you get the job. You never know what is in store for us in life. You could make some new friends, whatever. You never can tell. I hope the best for you and I am glad that you keep pushing through.

Best wishes
Karen

Hi Teresa,

I am sorry that you are so sad right now.  And no matter what, we are always here for you.

peace and hugs,  Karen

Thanks for checking in with us Teresa, you get used to hearing from certain people and if they don't post you wonder what is going on. To thanks again for posting.

Who knows, maybe later you will feel like sitting in the swing. It is so relaxing in the evenings. I like to sit out during the summer and listen to the birds when the daylight is coming to an end. It is so peaceful then.

I got my doctors appointment mixed up once and actually sat in the waiting room until somebody told me that I didn't have an appointment that day. Needless to say I was embarrassed. LOL...

I hope that your day gets better,
Keep in touch,
hugs, Karen

Hello everyone,

I think that I found a vehicle, not sure but a probability.  I almost had my hands on a Mazda RX8, someone bought it two hours before.  My vehicle is a tiburon, its pretty.  We will see.

 

I have to tell you guys, I dont want to be single!!!  If I hear one more guy say oh your so gorgeous, i am going to puke!!!!!!!!  It is funny for the first time in my life, I care enough about myself to honor everything about me and in this dating arena, it is sex, sex, sex and I am not into that AT ALL!!!  I have no desire to be intimate with anyone, NONE,I have found that if you dont have sex with someone, they dont ask you out, which that suits me just fine, I have been called a frigid b...h, *** and I dont know what else.  You just cant be a nice girl, I have to admit, it feels good to know that I am able to hold my dignity above everything else.  There is another reason, a very important reason that makes me so sincere about how I feel.  I look at it this way, there are pretty girls all over, "a dime a dozen" but I am pretty inside and 42 years later, I BELIEVE THIS TOO BE TRUE!!!!!!

 

I have not been eating as I have not felt well at all.  Cant seem to get motivated,  really sleepy.  I see my counselor on Monday.  Then Easter is coming, another holiday without him.  I miss him so much.

 

I went to the little flea market here in Alliance.  There were all kinds of stuff with Harley Davidson on it and it made me hurt for him.  I would give the world for him to come back.

 

Vegas is doing good.  Almost back to herself.

 

Geremiah my little boy is with me this weekend, I enjoy him so much.

 

Well, gotta run and check my insurance rates for the new car in case I get it.  Actually I am extremely overwhelmed, could use some help, I just get ready to do something and I start to have an anxiety attack.  How I found that I was having them was when my counselor said that I am grieving but I will still have anxiety attacks.  I seem to have them when I feel overwhelmed and have 100 things to do.  I actually get chest pain and my blood pressure is starting to go up again.  What else?

 

Teresa
I too am so happy for you and your Car.....
It is a good thing ......

The weather here in Ontario Canada is just about 2 degrees celcious and it is so sunny and beautiful out ....I wish we could be sitting on that swing of yours enjoying the sunshine and having a chat ya know .....Glad Vegas is doing alot better too another good thing

I have anxiety and panic and I am sorry you have this to deal with as well ......
Take care you and know we are always here .....Lyn

Teresa

So glad that you got a car,now you can worry about other things.

I know what you mean about being single..one of the reasons I stayed single so long after my divorce.

You will be ok...just one day at a time,and one problem at a time.

Teresa I hope that you get better. I know they say time heals all wounds. I hope that is true.

Do you have to see him on a daily bases? I hope not for your sake. I know losing someone you love can be hard.I've done it a few times.

I'm sorry about your car and your son. Glad to hear though that your cat is doing better. One of our 5 cats was acting a little strange last night. I think it's because her 4 brothers have been picking on her most of the day. She is in hiding today. We also have one dog but he thinks he's a cat also. He's part german shepard and part huskey.

Maybe when the flowers and trees start blooming things will start looking brighter for you.

Roni